'AITA for breaking up with my GF after she insisted I pay for her sister's student loans?' UPDATED
"AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend after she insisted I pay for her sister's student loans?"
So I (28M) have been dating my girlfriend (26F) for about 2 years. A few months ago, I got really lucky on Stake and won about $80K. Not life-changing money, but definitely a nice chunk of change.
My girlfriend has been struggling with student loans (about $35K), so I decided to help her out and paid them off completely. She was super grateful at first, crying and thanking me for weeks. Fast forward to last week. Her sister (24F) is also dealing with student loans, about $42K worth.
My girlfriend started hinting that since I helped her, I should also help her sister. I laughed it off at first, thinking she was joking. She wasn't. She got increasingly pushy about it, saying things like "You have plenty left" and "It's selfish to help me but not my sister" and "Family helps family."
I explained that while I care about her family, I'm not responsible for her sister's loans. I already did something generous that most boyfriends wouldn't do, and her sister's finances aren't my responsibility.
This turned into a massive fight where she called me selfish and greedy. She literally said "What's the point of having money if you don't help people with it?" She then gave me an ultimatum: either pay her sister's loans or she'd reconsider our relationship.
I broke up with her on the spot. Now she's blowing up my phone saying I overreacted and her family thinks I'm an AH.
So internet strangers, AITA for refusing to pay for her sister's loans and ending the relationship over this?
The internet didn't hold back one bit.
ASOT-1 wrote:
You can reverse a student loan payment. I did when there was that chance of the 10k forgiveness and it was months after they payment. You're NTA and should get your money back since she so quickly showed her true colors.
Mustang19671967 wrote:
You’re an AH for paying off her student loan, that was so stupid .you probably need to pay tax on the winning. Block her on everything, if she wants you back tell her you want that 35k back, then we can try.
Substantialgood4102 wrote:
NTA. Congratulations on dodging a 50 caliber bullet. She should consider herself lucky that you paid her student loans. She was a girlfriend not a fiancee. If you stayed with her she and her family would have drained you dry. The asks would never stop.
chopsdontstops wrote:
WTF? It didn’t even make sense to pay off your girlfriend’s debt. $80,000 gambling winnings after taxes is like $57,000, then you spent another $35,000 on her debt which would leave you with $22,000 of $80k. YTA, but for a different reason.
A few weeks later, OP shared an update.
So a couple weeks ago I posted about how I (28M) broke up with my GF (26F) after she demanded I pay off her sister's $42K in loans after already paying off her $35K loans. Y'all overwhelmingly said NTA and suggested I reverse the payment.
Well, I did exactly that. Called the loan servicer, explained the situation, and was able to get the $35K payment reversed. My ex absolutely LOST IT when she found out - blowing up my phone with 50+ texts calling me every name in the book.
She's telling everyone I "stole" from her and her family is threatening legal action (lol good luck). Her sister even showed up at my apartment screaming about how I "ruined their plans" - whatever that means.
My friends are split - half think it was savage but justified, others think I should've just walked away without taking the money back. But honestly, the fact they immediately started planning how to spend my money on the sister confirms I made the right call. So AITA for taking back money that was clearly part of a manipulation scheme?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Loop_Adjacent wrote:
So glad to read this update. They acted entitled to your money before and after all of this. Go treat yourself, get a new phone number and put cameras up at your place. Save all the texts in case u need to go the legal route with the harassment.
Feralfaith wrote:
They were straight up trying to use u as a human ATM. And their reaction? Just proves they were never in it for anything real. They’re screaming about “stealing” when they were trying to steal ur money, lmao. The sister showing up at ur apartment? That’s harassment.
They’re all showing their true colors, and they’re ugly. You did the right thing. They wanted to play games, and now they’re finding out they can’t win. Let them cry about it. They’re lucky u didn’t press charges.
18k_gold wrote:
Awesome you got your money back. The sisters plan was to rob you and you ruined it for them. How dare you!! Let the family sue you, they have no case. She FAFO now she has to pay her loan back, she got greedy. Block and move on.
The friends that said you should have just let her have the money, well they are welcome to pay hers and her sisters loan payments. Tell them you will give your ex their contact info.
Dana07620 wrote:
I'm glad you got the money back. That $35K was a huge chunk of your winnings. It's not like you won a million dollars. You won $80K. And your greedy girlfriend wanted almost every penny of it for her and her family. ($77k out of $80k). At the time I thought it was too bad you had already paid off the loan. Happy you were able to reverse it.
LondonPinkDiamonds wrote:
People telling you to walk away without getting ur money back. WHO THE F#$K ARE THOSE PEOPLE?! Those are the type to say that to you but if they went through what you went through you know 100% they would get their money back in a heartbeat. BTW block those people.