Woman evicts BF after he steals and reads her little sister's diary. 'We're DONE.' AITA?
"AITA for breaking up with my BF after he read my little sister's diary?"
Some time ago, our mom read my sister's diary. My sister had written about her insecurities, her being bullied at school, and wrote some negative stuff about our parents.
Mom flipped and responded like "I'm such a terrible mother huh" and "nobody's perfect you know that", and sort of wouldn't listen to my sister. She's hidden her diary since from her parents.
My little sister stayed over at my place for some time. She went out with her friends for a while and I was also out for a bit and when I came home my sister was holed in her room. I noticed my sis seemed off and I went over next to her on the bed. She grabbed me and was on the verge of tears and I held her for a bit.
She opened up to me that my boyfriend had gone in her room and read her diary while she was out. He teased her like "got a little crush?", "you two gonna get married?", "not good enough for him huh?", and bringing up her vulnerable writing like it was nothing (she was already rejected by her crush and wrote about that, and was embarrassed and told me not to tell anyone, not even my boyfriend).
She didn't want to come out of her room. I was so upset at my boyfriend. My boyfriend didn't seem to get it, he said "yeah I shouldn't have gone so far with the teasing". He said he was trying to make light of some stuff to make her feel better. NO! You shouldn't have read her diary in the first place!
I demanded he apologize to her. I was really really emotional in the moment and when he started with "sorry you're sad I brought up that vulnerable stuff, didn't mean to hurt you" I ended up blowing up on him and I told him that we're done and he needs to move out. He left to his parents'.
I spent the rest of the time with just me and my sis doing stuff together before she went back home. My bfs been texting saying he can apologize better to my sis and we can get back together but my sis doesn't want to see him again and I just ignored his texts. AITA here?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. Your sister trusted you and was deeply hurt. Your boyfriend crossed a major boundary by invading her privacy and mocking her vulnerability. You stood up for her when she needed it most. Breaking up with someone who doesn’t respect your family or boundaries is completely justified.
And the mother is a POS, too, in her reaction. Same nonsense I got from my mother, which is still wounding, several decades later. OPs mom literally insulted her own child for her feelings.
NTA. Apologize better? Seriously? He's not ready to acknowledge that he was an ass to have read that diary. So no fake apologies will suffice. You don't need the type of person who doesn't value someone's personal space. Today it was your sister. Tomorrow it could be you.
Trust in a relationship is where you can openly keep your private stuff completely accessible to your partner and you have full trust they won't invade the privacy, and your also partner knows that there is private stuff in front of them and they trust you completely and not tempted to snoop even once.
NTA, why would he go in there and read her diary?
NTA. Your (ex) BF had already decided to take things too far the moment that he decided to read your sister's diary. I'll also throw your Mother onto the same AH fire as your ex bf. It's clear that neither of them care about her feelings and her right to privacy (Your mother is the worst culprit of the two).
Keep protecting your younger sister! She needs to know that she has at least one person who'll always have her back and respect her, and clearly she feels that that person is you.
Nta. Both your parents and your boyfriend suck. They broke boundaries and instead of being sympathetic to the confessiosm, they turned on her and rejected or teased her. Keep being a safe person for your sister. No parent should be going their kids journals to use it against them.
Sounds like a giant red flag. He violated her privacy and then didn't see the slightest problem with that, only that he'd taken the teasing too far. He's probably not a horrible person but these little insights into people's morality and lack of respect shouldn't be taken lightly, because they probably won't get any better. You made the right choice, always choose your sis.
NTA I don’t think I’d want to be with someone who thinks it’s fun to violate someone’s privacy either.
NTA, now you have room at your place for your sister to stay with you. If she's not 18 yet, hopefully your parents won't make a fuss. Even if they didn't really want her there, I could see them forcing her to stay until she's 18 just to exercise control. Because they suck.
NTA. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to get it that a person's private diary is private. He seems to think his apology should be for "teasing" her about what he read in her private diary. Sure, that was a ghastly thing to do, but his first grovelling apology should be "Sorry I read your diary". And as he still doesn't seem to get it, I trust he's now your STXBf.
NTA. That was a violation of your sister's privacy, and he used her vulnerabilities to 'tease' her. I use quotation marks, because what he was saying was just mean. That was more like bullying than teasing. And his 'apology'?
That's one of those non-apologies meant to make him look like the victim and the person he's apologising to look like the bad guy or crazy for feeling like they do. It's designed to invalidate someone's feelings and deny accountability for his own actions.