'AITA for calling my Dad stupid? He told me to use a 'paper towel' for swimming on my period?' UPDATED
"AITA for calling my Dad stupid after being told to use a 'paper towel' for swimming on my period?"
For context, I (15F) and my dad (35M) have had a really good relationship for the past year or two. We've always been close, but I've had a rocky relationship with my mum so he's been my main support system.
Currently, I'm on holiday with my grandparents, younger sister, my dad and his girlfriend (4 adults 2 kids including me) and I got my period. I have a really heavy flow but I'm not yet comfortable with using tampons/cups so I stick to pads. We were meant to be going to a water park but with me getting my period, I obviously couldn't go.
Initially, my dad was fine with this and even suggested me and him doing go-karting together just us and my younger sister, his girlfriend and my grandparents could just go to the water park. Then a few hours later I ask my dad about the go-karting and he said that my younger sister and his girlfriend wanted him to go to the water park so he's going there.
I felt that that this was unfair considering they could just go by themselves otherwise I'll be stuck in the caravan all day when it's our last day on holiday. He then said that other people swim on their periods without tampons and his "female friends" (who I suspect is his gf) "with far more experience since they are older" use "paper towels" and I could go swimming if I wanted to I'm just choosing not to.
I got upset by this because I was looking forward to doing something with him and I also felt like he was just making out that I'm just trying to be difficult. I said the paper towel is a stupid idea and to that he shouted at me not to call him stupid and slammed the door in my face.
I've been stuck in the caravan with my Nan the whole day. Me and my dad aren't talking because he said he doesn't want any more arguing. My Nan, mum and friends all agree that the paper towel was a stupid thing to say but I suspect his girlfriend was the one who suggested it in the first place so AITA?
Not long after posting, OP shared an update.
Edit: A lot of people are saying I'm making the holiday about me and shouldn't expect my dad to cancel. I didn't expect my dad to do anything, he offered to take me go-karting, saying he would prefer to do that over the water park anyway. If he didn't want to, that's totally fine.
But if that was the case he shouldn't have waited to tell me that until 11pm/12am that night by which point it was far too late for me to do arrange anything else. Also, the only reason he chose to do the water park is because his girlfriend and my sister said they wouldn't go without him, despite the fact they still could have gone just them two.
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Independent_Prior612 wrote:
NTA.
The one thing I was going to say was did you call HIM stupid or the IDEA. Sounds like you called the idea stupid, which it is, and he took it as calling him stupid.
The truth is? Men ARE stupid about periods. (I dated a guy one time who, no joke, in his late 20’s, didn’t know it had its own hole. He thought women only had two spots down there, not three. But I digress.)
You will encounter much stupidity from many men about this through your life. But this time since he’s your dad you gotta be respectful enough to remember to call his ideas stupid instead of him LOL. ETA because eleventy billion people have now asked me this question: pee, sex, poo. 1, 2, 3.
crochetandmead wrote:
NTA and honestly? I think your dad is making it up that his “female friends with more experience as they are older” said this as not one person who has actually had a period would suggest this as a viable option. The paper would literally just disintegrate if it was used like a pad and would also disintegrate leaving bits of paper inside if it was used like a tampon.
EndielXenon wrote:
I... Just... Wait... What? MIND EXPLODING. Paper freaking towels? What on earth is he thinking? Just wad it up and stick it up there? He might as well suggest a cork.
Look. I'm a middle-aged guy who's never had to deal with a period, and even I know that was, without a doubt, a stupid idea. You were absolutely right to tell him that, and there's a big difference between saying an idea is stupid and saying that a person is stupid. NTA.
NotCreativeAtAll16 wrote:
NTA. He showed just how little he understands about women's periods if he honestly suggested that you use paper towels at a water park while on one of your heavier flow days. Like, paper towels work because they absorb moisture. So what happens when you get it wet?
Ryanookami wrote:
Every father of a daughter owes it to them to learn the truth about periods. He needs to be ready, willing, and able to help her deal with any problems that arise. Your father did not do his due diligence to educate himself. NTA and hang in there OP, I can’t imagine having to deal with such a frustrating unrealistic suggestion on how to deal with a period.
AudDMurphy wrote:
NTA. I'm a 43-year-old Dad. And from this Dad, your dad was being stupid. This is the sort of dumb stuff my father would say and it is wildly inappropriate. Much older people, hey, education and culture is what it is.
Today, there is no excuse to having a daughter and being this ignorant about periods. You don't need to be an expert. But you need to be aware of different products and know where you can support.
Ok_Conversation9750 wrote:
NTA. Please tell daddy and his gf that I’m wondering if they are even able to dress themselves each day! That paper towel suggestion broke the stupid meter!