I (22F) am at my wit's end with my upstairs neighbor (65M). For the past 3 months, he's been playing his piano LOUDLY every single night from 11 PM to 5 AM. It started occasionally, but now it's a nightly occurrence.
I've tried everything: • Politely asking him to stop • Leaving a kind note explaining my situation • Even offering to buy him headphones
His response? "This is my creative time. Deal with it or move out."
Last night, I reached my breaking point. After another sleepless night, I confronted him in the hallway.
I begged him to reconsider, explaining that I'm falling asleep at work and my mental health is suffering. He got in my face and said, "Listen here, you little brat. I've lived here for 30 years. If you can't handle a little music, I'll make your life hell. Try complaining again, and you'll regret it."
I lost it. I called him a "selfish old prick" and told him to "go f*** himself." Now he's telling everyone in the building that I'm an abusive, disrespectful youth.
Other neighbors are annoyed too, but they're afraid to confront him. The landlord says he can't do anything without multiple complaints.
AITA for snapping at him? Should I apologize? Or should I start the process of filing a formal noise complaint, even though he threatened me?
Efficient_Cat_7840 wrote:
NTA. Your neighbor is way out of line here.
• Playing loud music all night for months? Not okay. • Ignoring your polite requests? Rude. • Threatening you? Absolutely unacceptable.
Don't apologize. Instead:
Document everything.
File complaints with your landlord.
3. Check local noise ordinances.
4. Consider reporting the threat to authorities.
OP responded:
Thank you, I already keep the record, I’m a little unsure about the p-lice thing.
LourdesAlaska wrote:
NTA. Your neighbor's behavior is incredibly disruptive and disrespectful. You've tried multiple reasonable approaches to resolve the issue. Filing a formal noise complaint is a valid next step, especially given his threats and refusal to compromise.
Electrical-Dig8570 wrote:
Sounds like this guy sleeps during the day if he plays music all night. Sounds like it’s time to buy some speakers, wedge them to the ceiling, turn up some death metal and leave for the day.
SlimTeezy wrote:
Landlord needs multiple complaints? TELL YOUR NEIGHBORS. Print a note for all of them saying the noise will stop if they complain and list all contact info for landlord. Tape it to their doors and start the revolution.
Content_print_6521 wrote:
He's in violation of the law. You can't make inside noise over 65 decibels in the middle of the night. Call the police and complain, EVERY TIME. And he's most likely in violation of his lease too. Complain to the landlord, in writing. Keep a record of his hours, and download a decibel meter on your phone.
Send it to your landlord, in writing, every week. The landlord will have to address it. Your neighbor obviously knows he's being inconsiderate and he doesn't care. He might be showing early signs of dementia. Try making a welfare call on him, see how he likes the authorities showing up and banging on his door in the middle of the day, when he's sleeping!
I can't believe I'm writing this update less than 24 hours after my original post. Things have spiraled out of control. After reading your comments last night, I decided to take action.
At 8 AM this morning, I called the non-emergency line to report the ongoing noise disturbance and the threat he made. They said they'd send someone to check it out. Around 9 AM, I heard a knock at my door. It was two officers.
As I was explaining the situation, we suddenly heard a massive crash from upstairs, followed by the loudest piano playing yet. The officers went up to investigate. That's when all hell broke loose. My neighbor started screaming about his rights and "young punks ruining society." Then we heard more crashing and...the sound of a piano being destroyed?
Next thing I know, my neighbor is being led out in handcuffs, shouting that he'll "make me pay." Apparently, when the authorities entered, he was in the process of pushing his piano out the window. He claimed he was "giving me what I wanted - no more piano." The c-ps found his apartment in complete disarray. He'd smashed furniture, punched holes in walls etc.
He's been taken for a psychiatric evaluation. Other neighbors are coming out of the woodwork with their own stories about his erratic behavior. I'm in shock. I wanted the noise to stop, but not like this. I feel terrible. Did I push him over the edge? Should I have handled this differently? I'm safe but shaken. Any advice on how to process this and move forward?
CptKussCryAllTheTime wrote:
NTA. No you didn’t do this, his mental health did. It better that it happened then in his own place and now when he was around others.
benfwx wrote:
Holy s--t, that escalated FAST. But honestly? Better he lost it now with cops present than alone with you. Who knows what could've happened if this kept building up. Don't feel guilty. Someone who destroys their own apartment and tries to throw a piano out the window because of a noise complaint isn't mentally stable. You didn't cause this - you just happened to be the final straw. Stay safe!!
OP responded:
He doesn’t seem to be quite clean (at least in the head) thank you!
TheDarkSide46 wrote:
Let me give you my story, MY step granddad lived on his own when my step nan died miles away (his choice), it was only because off his neighbours creating a concern ( like good people like you) that alerted my step dad to his dementia starting which is when I gave my life up to make sure he was okay to the end (his son was happy to put him in a home) which I could not allow.
You are NTA for raising concerns specially if he has no one on this rock. He may get help that is needed.
mysterylov wrote:
You acted within your rights to seek help with the ongoing noise disturbance, and it’s not your fault that your neighbor reacted the way he did. Sometimes, people have underlying issues that can lead to extreme behavior, and it’s unfortunate that it came to this.
Focus on your own well-being and give yourself time to process everything. If you feel comfortable, talking to someone about your feelings could help you work through this.