'AITA for calling out my mother-in-law and telling her she is not Native American?'
"AITAH for calling out my mother-in-law and telling her she is not Native American?"
For context my wife and her mother really could pass as part Native American. They have dark brown hair. Almond eyes and high cheek bones. They are white but hold a tan real well and they both tan often giving them a darker complexion. When my wife and I met she told me she was part Cherokee and I honestly believed her because she could for sure pass the part look wise.
She’s been asking me for years to get DNA kits so we could learn more about our heritage. I was always told I was mainly white and part Mexican. My wife was always told she was 10-20% Native American and white. We ordered some DNA test about 2 years ago. My DNA test came back how I expected it too I'm mainly Irish german French and about 10% Mexican.
My wife’s DNA test comes back and it says she is 99.9% European mostly Irish. At first we both thought this was a mistake so we ordered 23 and me DNA test to get more in depth results. So we ordered the more expensive test and I get the same results and low and behold so does my wife. My wife is 99.9% colonizer lol
My wife got really upset because her family has told them for generations they are part Cherokee and their ancestor is Nancy Ward. Given these test results it’s impossible for that to be true. My mother-in-law is the type of woman to post on Facebook a lot and of course she always makes posts about how she is Indian and her ancestor is Nancy Ward.
I find it very annoying now that I know it isn’t true. I was talking to my mother-in-law the other day about the DNA test results and how she needs to take one so she can see for herself she’s not Native American and of course she gets really mad at me. She tells me “she knows who her people are and doesn’t need a DNA test to confirm it.”
I’m all about being proud of who you are but it also pisses me off to see people claim to be something they aren’t. I told my wife I wanted to get her a DNA test for Christmas.
My wife tells me no that it’s only going to piss her off and I need to drop it but honestly it irks the hell out of me to see her mother constantly talk about “her Indian heritage” and claiming to be an oppressed group of people when she isn’t. So I’m just curious AITA for calling out my mother in law? I really want to get her a 23 and me for Christmas but my wife thinks i should just drop it.
The internet was divided in their responses.
No-Ad4238 wrote:
As someone with Native American ancestry but not part of a tribe due to no treaty…
I don’t get all these Y T A comments. I personally think you’re NTA because these people are exhausting.
OP responded:
THANK YOU!! I understand I’m being a little petty about wanting to get her a DNA test but to constantly make false claims about your ancestry is very offensive if you ask me.
Flickanelde wrote:
So I googled Nancy Ward, and it's safe to say that woman stopped procreating 250 years ago. That's more than 10 generations. Now, obviously, DNA is a fickle thing and does not get divided perfectly evenly between parents. However, over more than 10 generations, I'd think we could safely assume the percentages even out fairly reasonably.
Assuming that your girlfriend was descended from one of the full blood children of Nancy Ward, and that person was their only full blood native ancestor, and splitting genes roughly evenly over 10 plus generations, you end up with a percentage of native blood that is less than 0.1%.
So your girlfriend's mother may very well be telling the truth about her native ancestry. But at more than 10 generations distant, she is likely more closely related to King Charles at this point. And definitely more closely related to Kevin Bacon.
Tally0987654321 wrote:
YWBTA Just because you're doing it to stick it to your MIL. Lol That being said maybe you should do some research on DNA tests. I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think they are reliable for American Indian ancestry?
My mother is 1/2 Cherokee, her father was born on the reservation and my Mom/aunts/uncles were born in Oklahoma. My cousins did ancestry DNA and no one showed up as American Indian. I honestly don't remember the exact reason they gave.
ResidentLadder wrote:
ESH. You - Ethnic percentages on DNA tests are not the best way to determine if someone has Native American heritage. Are you aware that full siblings can have very different percentages? I mean…have you never met full siblings who have different color hair, eyes, skin tone, etc?
Her - Heritage is being part of the tribe. So membership, familiarity with the culture, knowledge and understanding of beliefs…being a tribal member helps, too. It sounds like your wife has none of those.
Herecomescookie wrote:
YTA. Being a descendant of a particular group (native American, for example) and having it show up on a DNA test are not the same thing. Yes, for decades/centuries various Americans have claimed native descent, either for the romanticism or to hide darker skin/hair traits of another ancestry (such as African).
In absence of other evidence, people cannot be blamed for what their parents and grandparents have told them in good faith.
She may well be a descendant, but it's so far distant that it no longer shows up in the DNA.
One of the Blackest men I've ever met is a registered member of a NA tribe. He shows 90+% African and no native DNA, yet he is a documented descendant through his mother, so he counts. Don't discount family oral history because of a DNA test. I would suggest a serious family history research project to settle the question.
mostly_lurking1040 wrote:
YTA. You're being completely obnoxious pretending to get someone a gift when you're really just want to shove their nose into something. People grow up with family lore and stories and it becomes part of their belief system.
Also note that people in their historical line were no doubt treated is if they were native American, which wasn't always a plus, so you could maybe back the f*** off. Seriously you can't buy somebody a decent present just sit on your hands.