'AITA for calling out a woman that uses our macarons for her online baking business?' UPDATED 3X

"AITA for sending a strongly-worded private message to an individual that uses our macarons for her own online baking business?"

I (24F) started this small online baking business almost 3 years ago. I'm currently pursuing an advanced degree and have given all the rights to my older sister (27F). We're officially registered as a bakery in our town.

I am responsible for updating the monthly calendars and editing photos that are being posted on our Insta and FB. I'm in charge of the "PR", so I have access to both accounts. I noticed that we had a regular customer who frequently orders our French macarons. No big deal. Then I got a little sus when she started asking for specific colors while sending cake inspos.

When I did a little digging, lo and behold she has her own online cake business too. She was also using our macarons on her cakes. Repeatedly. At first, I was like, huh. This isn't new. I asked someone else to properly credit us and we got tagged repeatedly for the macarons we made. It was so simple, so I messaged the said customer and asked the same thing. The customer agreed.

Well, I just discovered that what this girl did was literally tag us in a single photo. We don't pop up at all on the caption, no mention of us or our name alongside the macarons that we made -- we can't even share it! It was pretty obvious that she didn't want us to have any association with her cakes. Tbh my sister's macarons were the reason her cakes look well-made.

This is probably no big deal for you guys out there but this is a small town and only my sister and another local bakeshop makes them. They're pretty difficult to master. I got upset as hell when she recently posted a photo of her latest menu featuring our macarons. It literally says "6 pcs macarons" on her cakes. That's the quantity that we sell. I saw red and immediately typed this message:

"Hi, ma'am! We saw your posted photos and I think it's a bit unfair to advertise that you include 6 pcs macarons on your but nowhere did it say that we bake them for you (albeit unknowingly and without our permission - we had to do our own digging)."

"Those are macarons. You are willingly deceiving your customers by purposely omitting that another small local business produces these high-quality baked products for your cakes. (see 1st photo = her menu)."

If you're going to continue using our French macarons for your products permanently, it is only right that you place our name alongside the macarons each time you use them. e.g. "6 pcs macarons by "

For example (see 2nd photo = a customer/baker who featured our name+product on her post), a good baker knows how to properly credit the local businesses that she employs. It's a small thing but very thoughtful nonetheless. I hope you will do the same for your future transactions with us."

My sister thought I was being rude but I told her that I was just being stern. Her point was that our product is no longer ours once she puts it into her cake. I told her that it's different when it comes to baked goods. She's literally taking credit for her (sis) hard work. So, AITA?

Not long after posting, OP shared two small updates.

*Edit: Forgot to say that every time we get credited on our products, they get thanked + shared on our page for exposure. It's how we support other local businesses. It's common courtesy.

*2nd Edit: We make macaron cakes too. One of our main selling points is the fact that we make custom cakes which highlight our high-quality macarons. To those people making an argument that the macarons = ingredient, it's not. Macarons are a finished product. It is not equal to flour, sugar, or any raw material. We're not Oreos or (insert big name brands here). We're just a small business.

Commenters had a lot to say.

LilLatte wrote:

NTA. It would be one thing if you made and sold cake decorations specifically, and she was a buyer- but you're both bakeries. Presumably, you also make cakes. Honestly, its deceitful as hell to do it without asking in the first place, but you're willing to overlook that if she would just give credit. She's apparently not willing to do that.

OP responded:

Yep, we bake all kinds of stuff. Cakes, brownies, cookies, you name it. Even cakes with macarons on top. 😅.

Beneficial_Ad_1435 wrote:

NTA. You handled it perfectly. 👏 For your sister, maybe point out that it's a common practice. Many places "feature starbucks" or "proudly serve Krispy Kremes".

(Sister is not an AH; cake lady is.)

drynn21 wrote:

NTA. If she doesn't respond privately then you can immediately comment on his photo. Or you can ban her from your store.

panzer22222 wrote:

NAH. She is buying your good for retail prices and adding them to her own creation. Once she has paid for them she can do with it what she likes.

You can ask her but she is under zero obligation to name you.

asdrfgbn wrote:

YTA She bought them she can use them. In fact, its just making you money. From not only the macaroons she is buying, but the macaroons her cakes are reminding people exist and go out and search for them. Would it be nice if she directed people towards you, who made them?

Sure, but she is not obligated to do that, or use your macaroons. So if you want to lose money, continue onward, and do that, I guess. But every sane person in your situation wants a regular buyer. Everyone downvoting has no f-king idea what they are talking about and clearly have never made and sold a product. You want regular buyers, this is common sense.

Businesses buy lots, regularly, people buy some, seldomly. Hmm, which is a good thing for the business. hmm. Have you ever had a hamburger restaurant tell you where they got the bun? The potatoes are from Idaho? This is normal and a good thing for your business. Would it be better if they said where? Sure, but they don't have to do that, and its not normal at all.

Six months later, OP shared an update.

Hi guys! It's been a few months since I last posted. I didn't expect that my original story would get some attention. I noticed that some were asking for an update so this will be short and sweet (like my sister's macarons, maybe?). I just want to thank everyone for their honest opinions and suggestions.

I let my sister read the entire thread as well. She realized how shitty it was that her hard work was getting passed off as the baker's efforts, especially when it took her 2-3 years to master the macarons.

To this day, her macarons are one of her best-sellers (plus she's the only known macaron-baker in the city), so she's fully aware of the true value of her hard work. My sister and I actually considered some of your ideas/opinions on the matter but thankfully, the baker I mentioned before resolved things herself.

She apologized to my sister for not mentioning our business. It took a couple of months but I'm happy to say that she finally credited our business as the makers of the macarons. She even pinned the post on her business page where it clearly states that the macarons on her macaron cakes were made by us/our brand. She continues to be our customer to this day. That's it basically. Thanks again! :)

The internet was happy to hear an update.

xenogazer wrote:

Your sister should consider putting a baker's mark on her macarons anyways. It's super cute and shows you go that extra mile (and free advertising)

OP responded:

We are actually considering it. We're still looking for suppliers who can make this possible, though. Thank you!

xenogazer wrote:

You could make a crude version with craft wire and a hammer. It's just gotta get hot enough to leave a mark on your item. You could even just do a stamped impression instead of a heated one.

OP responded:

Yeah, that’s what we were thinking! A cute little stamp of our logo on the macarons. My sister thinks the same thing too, actually. Maybe we’d use edible ink but it can get tricky. We don’t want it to look messy. We have different colors for the macarons so we’d have to experiment too.

parade1070 wrote:

That's great news. I follow some small businesses on YT and they are just constantly promoting each other and showing love, and it has provided a path for me and others to enjoy not just one, but many products from awesome companies that support the lives of real people.

That's how it should be, and I think the resolution here is another great example of that supportive culture. Good on you AND the other baker. We are stronger together!

tacwombat wrote:

Good thing the cake-baker came to her senses after she received your message and did the right thing (though my only gripe is that it took her months!)

OP responded:

She actually promised my sister she’s gonna include our brand ASAP but it took her a while. By then my sister and I knew that she didn’t really want to. 😅

FM_Einheit wrote:

Great update. I missed the original post but saw several comments there of the “what’s the big deal, macarons are just ingredients “ variety and want to say no, they are NOT.

I have a relative who is a trained pastry chef, she teaches classes on making them and in the first few minutes makes it clear that they are VERY difficult to make well and even many high end restaurants, etc outsource making them because they are a PITA. Anyone doubting this is welcome to try making some from scratch and post pics of their efforts.