'AITA if I charge my dad's GF for storing items in my house? I said I'd do it for free.' UPDATED

"AITA if I (24F) charge rent for storing items in my house when the original arrangement was I would do it for free?"

I get the title sounds really bad but I feel like the context is definitely needed. I (24F) live in a rented house with my Boyfriend and roommate. My father (56M) has been dating a woman for the past 3 years who was widowed in 2020. For simplicity, I’ll call her Kate. Kate for the past 3 years has been going through Probate as a result of her late husband’s passing.

During probate, my father has repeatedly “voluntold” (volunteered us without asking first for a task) my brother and I to help on anything and everything involving Kate. Currently, my brother and I are owed over $5,000 from money we had given to help her out on multiple occasions and my father is owed over $10,000. The list of things we were asked to do got ridiculous. Some examples:

She fired her probate lawyer for calling her sweetheart so I had to research how to file documents with the court. Her late husband was in tech as am I so I was tasked with going through all 18. Yes. 18 Computers. And sorting through all the data I could recover off of them. Her late husband also had simple encryptions on hard drives he had which I had to decrypt then sort through that data.

With the data from the previous example and this one I had sorted through over 60 Terabytes of data in those 3 years. These are just a few examples that I’ll come back to. The problem is probate finally got around to selling Kate’s house. Her house was over 7,000 square ft and was sold for a couple million because of the area.

She refused to look for other accommodations and didn’t move out any items as the date for the closing was approaching. Knowing that when closing hit she would lose all her stuff, my father asked if they could move some of her items to my house. The original deal was that I could sell the items in my house to get the money I am owed back. Then any extra funds could be split between Kate and I.

Thinking about it, I initially agreed because she had a 500 square foot closet of designer purses and shoes so I thought that I would have no issue getting my money back and that it wouldn’t take up too much space cause I have a spare room and could store it in there until it’s sold. On the day before closing we had gotten a U-Haul to move Kate’s stuff to my house and it was a disaster.

She had an entire RV Garage full of stuffed animals, old toys, and damaged furniture (she has 2 cats and the furniture was scratched and torn up). I protested but my father said I’d still be able to recover my money from this stuff and started loading the U-Haul. It took 6 trips with the largest size U-Haul to move some of her items out of the house.

We only stopped because there was no more room in my house to place anything. She ended up having to get another 8 storage units plus a 2 bedroom apartment to get the rest of the stuff out of her old house. I started sorting through stuff to see what I could even sell and found that at least half of the items were cheap toys that you would get from a claw machine sort of quality.

Of the remaining items, the only valuable things were a backyard furniture set that the cats didn’t get to and Squishmallows. I listed the furniture set and within an hour of it being up I got a call from Kate. She screamed at me that it was listed “too low” and that I could get more money from it.

She thought I was lowballing so I didn’t have to split money with her. Since that incident she had told my father every time I list something that is at my house that isn’t listed at the price she wants it at. My father has scolded me more than once for “stealing from her” because I’m not splitting every cent that I sell things for even though the deal was for me to get paid off first than split.

I finally snapped yesterday after being told I was stealing from her yet again and told him he’s lucky I’m only asking for $2,000. He told me I should be thankful to even get that much from her and that she shouldn’t owe me a dime. What he didn’t know is I kept logs of exactly how long everything took me while I was doing favors for him. I also looked up how much money each of those favors would pay a freelancer.

I told him that actually I saved her almost $450,000 from the work that I did FOR FREE for her and that he’s lucky that I’m not going to her probate and listing my work that I have done to become a creditor. I already talked with a lawyer and I have everything I need to do that. He was appalled and demanded they come take everything item from my house since I’m stealing and I can’t be trusted anymore.

I said that for that to happen Kate would have to pay me for rent for the storage space she used then I’d release the items. She changed our deal so I felt totally justified in saying she owed me rent for the space. My dad did the math for 1 storage unit for 3 months (how long the stuff has been here now) at the lowest price he could find which was about $400.

I reminded him that not only did I have 6 storage units worth of items but I also had temperature control cause all the items were inside the AC and that the cheapest price for that was 300$ a month per storage unit so it really came out to 5,400$. He got so angry that the matter wasn’t discussed further and he left. I had sent a text to him and Kate stating this:

“Since the terms of our original agreement have changed I no longer feel comfortable storing your items. For breaking our initial terms I am asking for the 2,000$ in debts owed on top of 5,400$ for storing your items in my home."

"With an additional 1,800$ added on the 1st of each month until all items are retrieved. I am giving a 90 day notice at the end of which the items will be transferred into my ownership as per our states law and I will dispose of the items as I see fit."

"If you decide against retrieving the items and do not pay at least the 2,000$ I will be forced to file against the estate for the entirety of the debts I am owed that potentially will amount to more that $450,000. Please notify me of your decision either by text or email. Thank you.”

My brother is on my side but I have gotten nonstop calls from my dad and Kate saying how terrible I am and how I can’t back out of the previous deal and they are her items so she can come and take them whenever. I think that if she wants to take her stuff back since that was how I was supposed to get my $2,000 back that she should have to pay the $2,000 and the rent for keeping it here for months for free.

My boyfriend and roommate think I should charge her more cause they have watch how much I have done for her and think she is being unreasonable. So I came on here to see if I’m crazy and being unreasonable or if I’m justified. AITA?

The internet had plenty to say in response.

Snoowords4839 wrote:

Do it! Don't let Kate get away with anything.

Alert-Potato wrote:

Send a new text. "The next time I am contacted in any way other than by text or email to notify me of the decision previously requested, I will file against the estate immediately for the full amount of debts owed." Then do so when they lose their s-t.

BubbaJMC wrote:

You are not charging enough. You are too kind.

Your dad is getting used. He will be dumped as soon as she can find another chump to use. None of this is your fault. You owe them nothing.

Gay_Andconfused_ wrote:

NTA - get her a--. She is taking advantage of your father, and your father is taking advantage of you. You're an adult now, not a "kid". Good for you for standing up for yourself. Wring as much money out of her as possible - preferably through a lawyer so she has no legal recourse to spin the story against you and come after you later.

Four days later, OP shared a major update.

A ton of stuff has happened since I last posted a few days ago. I appreciate everyone’s comments and advice cause I was feeling really 50-50 from all the gas lighting and am very grateful for the clarity both good and bad.

I decided to have a garage sale to start really selling things and getting stuff out of my house. We decided this the day I posted and had the garage sale today. Kate was alerted to the fact that I was doing this and on Friday night before the garage sale she went over to my brother and dad’s house.

She demanded they negotiate a deal for her to get a 50-50 split of any money made in the garage sale without my knowledge beforehand and without me being there. I got a call from my dad at 9pm stating that they came to this conclusion and that was how it was going to be tomorrow (ie today) and that I just had to accept that.

Side note: My brother did not agree to the terms he sat silently after voicing he thought I should be part of the discussion and was shot down. I had said that I am recouping my money that she owes me and that only after I recoup that amount would the chance of the money being split even remotely occur.

Kate starting raging and calling me and my boyfriend (who wasn’t brought up nor part of the discussions at all so it really just felt like she was trying to get under my skin) every name in the book and screaming that she owed me nothing and if anything I owe her for “b ringing me into some relevance by helping (her)”She then started threatening me with physical v--lence.

My father hung up the phone after those comments abruptly but I was told that she was raging at their house for another good hour before leaving. After my father hung up I immediately texted him and Kate that they are not allowed on my property and if they do the police would be called.

That was the last communication I had with them Friday night. This morning our garage sale started at 7am along with others in the community and we were all set and ready to go. Kate and my father showed up at about 7:05 and I promptly stood up and pointed off my property and said they are trespassing and need to leave.

Kate walked over to the table and grabbed as much stuff as she could carry and started screaming that it was her stuff and that I was selling it illegally she started throwing stuff off tables and breaking things screaming that she can break her stuff. She brought a few things to the edge of my property so I followed her to the edge put my arms straight up in the air and screamed she needed to leave.

She started att--king me while my arms were up in the air trying to get back into my garage to break more things but I was an athlete all my life and she wasn’t getting past (thank you basketball 😂).

At this point neighbors were watching from their homes as Kate continued her blind rage screaming and att--king me. My father tried to intervene to move me out of the way but I was still able to keep her from coming on to the property.

My boyfriend and roommate who was outside when they pulled up both called the police. My roommates mother was coming by to pick my roommate up for a baby shower and witnessed the whole ordeal as well. When Kate figured out she couldn’t get past me she stormed off screaming as she went.

My roommates mother asked what was going on since she had only heard stories of Kate but never met her I said that that’s Kate and she understood immediately but my father not knowing who he was talking to said to RM “this is all her items and this woman is illegally selling them in a garage sale.”

I was baffled and RM knowing the situation replied with “you and I both know that’s not only not true, but the fact that you would lie about that is horrendous. You should be ashamed.”

I pulled out my phone with the proof of Kate saying I can sell these items to recoup money and my father realized he had no leg to stand on and left. I knew Kate was on the phone with police and telling them a bogus story so I called my brother asking him to come to my house because he has all the proof for everything copied and recorded so the p-lice can see there’s nothing fishy going on.

When he heard what my father did and said he wanted to call him to ask what happened. When my brother called me back he said he would be there in 30. He got to my house just before the authorities arrived.

Kate had said that not only did I steal everything but I also shoved my father to “get to Kate” and ass--lted her as well. She had no marks to prove that though while I was covered with red marks and bruises. My brother gave all the evidence to the police while they got our statements. They found that the only one breaking the law was Kate and she was arrested for trespassing and battery against me.

She only was a block away when she was arrested and was threatening to come back and “finish the job” in front of the police which wasn’t really smart. Thankfully though we sold out of all the toys, about 60% of the stuffed animals, and made over 1,000$ on selling plushies for $1. My father came back around 10am and wanted to speak with me.

My brother supervised. My father said I wouldn’t have to worry about Kate or him any longer as I was being disowned and he was never going to speak with me again. My brother screamed at him but his mind was made up. He said he loved me but it’s for the best and left. I have already got a therapist lined up for next week and have a temporary restraining order on Kate.

I’m waiting on a date for her court case but we will see. She can’t come to the property or within 500ft of me so there shouldn’t be anything major going on but if anything else happens I will update. Sorry for the run ons. I kinda just started typing cause it’s so much and so fresh. Thanks again for everyone’s kind words.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

WarDog1983 wrote:

Go girl for the rest of the amount against her estate for the totals amount of what she owes you plus damages.

OP responded:

I briefly talked with a lawyer I know this afternoon. We are throwing the book at her as far as what she owes and I also have a disability that she knows about that elevates severity for certain things so rest assured she’s not getting off the hook.

lisaloveseric wrote:

Since you are disowned...file the charge for labor against the estate for the computer work.

Adventurous-travel wrote:

I think now I would go after her for the 450k as you know she will drain your dad dry and will fill his house with stuff. This way you brother can get some $ back also.

rosebud-2911 wrote:

Geez OP your dad is an AH. Who watches someone att-ck their child and doesn't go ballistic. Your dad going NC is a blessing. Someone who puts their SO above their kids is a terrible parent. Go after the estate for the work done. Also reinforce boundaries when your dad tries to come back to you. Your brother should move out if he is old enough and can do so financially.

OP responded:

My brother is old enough to. He’s moving in with me while he finds a place temporarily. He can’t believe everything he saw today