'AITA if I don't let my roommate stay on the couch every weekend while she is subletting her room?'

"WIBTA if I didn't let my roommate stay on the couch every weekend while she is subletting her room?"

I currently live in a share house with two other roommates. One of my roommates decided to work in another town for a few months for a university work placement, so she decided to sublet her room to save money while staying with her family.

This arrangement was only intended to last until April, but my roommate has said she's now away until September as she decided to take on a full-time role following her placement. This wasn't a problem as the person subletting her room is happy to extend their stay, and they have been easy to live with.

But now, my roommate has said she has a commitment back here every weekend and intends on staying on our couch in the lounge room every Friday and Saturday night. She didn't really ask if that would be okay, she just stated it to me as if she was assuming it would be fine.

I personally don't want to have a fourth roommate using a shared space as a bedroom for two nights a week. She would also be using the bathroom two of us already share. It just doesn't feel right for her to get the best of both worlds and be able to save her rent money while still using the space when she needs it.

The lounge room is also where the front door is, so it would feel like you're walking into and out of someone's bedroom every time you enter and leave the house.

I'm not sure if I'm being unnecessarily pedantic about it and should just let her stay, or if this is valid and I should ask her to find somewhere else to stay. She has other friends here who might be more comfortable with this arrangement.

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Sleepwalker0304 wrote:

NTA. She gets to have one sleeping space/personal use space paid for by her rent. Subletting is her extending that right to another person for the benefit of not having to pay rent for a space she's not using. Nothing gives her the right to full occupancy of a common space for nearly 1/4 of a month.

The house needs to decide how to handle it. Really your best options are 1. Renting her the living room for an additional cost to benefit everyone else who lives there or 2. Saying that you're full and she'll have to rent space from someone else or get a hotel room.

Healthy_Meal1485 wrote:

At minimum, mathematically she owes about 7 percent of the total rent for her occupancy 2 nights a week. ((Rent per week/7)/4 occupants) * 2 nights. BUT, then there's the consideration that the rent you agreed to pay was for a space with a living room, so now your rent seems absurd, right? So realistically she should be paying a little more.

Money aside, NTA and this is super weird. It's not her apartment in any form. She's demanding to sleep in someone else's apartment because she once lived there?

Callmeslim11 wrote:

You roommate contributes the rent for ONE PERSON, whether it's herself or a "sublet" She doesn't get to rent out her room etc then stay there in another common room whenever it's convenient for her.

You need to set boundaries, she stays or her subletter stays, not both.

CSTEA_Rocks wrote:

I’m curious what the other roommates think. But weird to sublet then want to sleepover every weekend for free. And sketchy AF that she told the subletter (hmm is that even a word) not to be around for the inspection.

Poppypie77 wrote:

NTA. She is no longer a tenant, as she has sublet her room out. She has rights in that house now. She doesn't get to just dictate she will be staying on the couch because it's not her house anymore.

It's up to you and the other roommates to decide if you're OK with the arrangement. Personally I'd say no. It's a huge inconvenience to have someone living in your lounge every weekend, depending on how long she'd be out during the day.

But where there was 3 of you there'd be 4 of you trying to use the lounge area, and if she wants to go to sleep she'll expect you to go to bed, so you'll be kicked out the lounge. And like you said, she'll be using the bath or shower, the electric, laundry, cooking food etc.

I'd say no to be honest and just say there's not enough room, and it will be difficult if she's taking up the lounge every weekend etc and that it would be better she stay somewhere else. If you do decide to let her stay, I'd suggest she contribute approximately 8-10 days in rent depending on how many weekends are in each month etc. Then whatever her amount is, you each get a 1/3 off your rent.

And obviously has to buy her own groceries, contribute to tidying up after herself, wash up etc. I think it's fair for her to contribute if she's going to be invading your one communal space where you can relax and watch tv etc. But personally I'd say no. And she was rude to even act like she didn't need permission and it was a done deal.

But I'd speak to your other roommates and see what they think, then let her know its not going to be suitable for her to stay every weekend, and she needs to find somewhere else. Coz it won't just be her on the sofa, it will be what she brings with her too, and maybe stuff she leaves there for weekends that will be in bags with no room to put them anywhere.

Starbaby87 wrote:

NTA. Tell her there is no way that's happening, and if she tries to insist on this blatantly unfair and lease-breaking arrangement, then you know what you have to do. Sing like a canary, tell the landlord. She's not going to have her cake and eat it too, at your expense and comfort. She can couch surf elsewhere. You hold all the power here, don't let her screw you over.

SolarAU wrote:

Man this is a real good example of how rough the housing situation is across the developed world. Recently, in my country, I saw an owner occupier of a 2 bed apartment sublet both of the rooms to people and then just sleep on the floor in the living room.

swillshop wrote:

You are definitely NTA (also meaning that your roommate's plan and her expectation - vs. asking - make her an AH).

So what do you have to work with to prevent her from just showing up every weekend?

How does the third roommate feel about this expectation? If she is equally unhappy about that idea, it makes it much easier for the two of you to speak up together - that neither one of you agree to the changes she wants.

You may also have the support of the subletting roommate. She may object to having to pay for 1/3 of the apartment to a person who then wants to crash there for free.

2. You have the terms of the lease. Even without the third roommate's support, you can still object. It will just be from the standpoint that she can't change the setup without the agreement of each roommate, and you don't agree.

Your position can be: As long as she is subletting her room, she does not have any rights to live in the apartment - not even two nights a week. And none of the roommates has the right to host her as a guest for that many days every week. (And if they did, she would need to share their room with her and cover the extra utilities for her staying.)

3. You have the landlord. It seems that your roommate is hiding the sublet. Although the landlord might not object because they are getting paid the same, they may object to a person that they never got to vet, whose identity and existence they are not aware of living in the apartment at all.

It is even more likely that the landlord would not be happy about 4 people living there (even if one is only part-time) without their agreement/extra compensation.

The bottom line: You need to speak up now and state (just as firmly as roommate stated her expectation) that either the roommate or the subletter has the lease. The other one does not live there and cannot stay there, not even for two nights a week.

lilawkward-lilfunny wrote:

NTA . I wouldn’t be cool with it either. Shared spaces aren’t bedrooms. If it were one weekend, ok, but it sounds like you don’t even know how long this would be and that’s not ok. So, you’re definitely not being pedantic. Really rude for her to assume this is okay also, pretty self-centered tbh.