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'AITA for driving off and not waiting for my girlfriend because I felt disrespected?' UPDATED

'AITA for driving off and not waiting for my girlfriend because I felt disrespected?' UPDATED


We all have our breaking point, some are more extreme than others.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for driving off and leaving his GF after she kept him waiting. He wrote:

'AITA for driving off and not waiting for my girlfriend?'

AITA for leaving my GF, because I didn't wanna wait for her anymore? Here is a ‘’short’’ story. Me (M25) and my GF (22) were supposed to meet up to make dinner and watch a movie at my place. I was stuck at school, and told her I'll be done by 17. She asked me if I could pick her up when I was done, which I agreed to. A little after 17 I drove to get her.

When I arrived I let her now by both text, and by trying to call her. She didn't answer any of them. I then continued to wait for 20+ min. She didn't come out, and I knew she had seen my message, so i just drove home. While driving home, she sent me a text telling me she was in a discussion with her friend, and couldn't leave.

She then asked me if I now could come get her again, now that she was done. I obliged, and drove back there. Then, same thing happened again, and ended up waiting at least 20 more minutes until i said f*** it, and drove home to make dinner alone. Now over 2 hours since we originally were supposed to make dinner.

Later she sent me a text, asking if I was irritated and mad at her, which I answered a clear ‘’Yes’’ to. Now she is mad at me for being insensitive and for saying I got irritated by waiting that long. Sorry for the long story. So, AITA here? And just to clarify, the discussion turned out to be nothing serious.

The internet weighed in with all of their thoughts.

extinct_diplodocus wrote:

NTA. I do hope she's your ex-gf. She has unreasonable expectations and treats you like dirt.

OP responded:

Well, she might be soon.

SunshineShoulders87 wrote:

LOL, I was ready to skewer you, but NTA. Wow, that’s incredibly inconsiderate behavior to not even let you know what’s going on, expecting to come back, and then do it to you again. Are you sure she isn’t just trying to make you break up with her?

OP responded:

That's a point of view I hadn't thought of. But then again, why would she want to meet up then. This was all her idea, and she wanted to meet me.. But, if that is what she wanted, then maybe im better off anyway.

Jyqm wrote:

NTA. Don't let her pull some BS on you about how you're somehow the insensitive one because you're not willing to wait around indefinitely while she's completely incommunicado. If this happens again, that's a very clear pattern that demonstrates how little she values you, your time, and the plans you've made together. Decision's yours at that point.

CreepyOldguy63 wrote:

My wife had a habit of taking to long to get ready when we went out. We would agree to leave at seven for dinner and a movie but she wouldn’t be ready until 7:30-8:00. I told her one fine evening I was leaving at 7:00 for the movie and she was welcome to come along. At 7:00 she was in the bathroom putting on makeup. I went to the movie. She was on time after that.

CottageCoreTeacher wrote:


Who calls 2 hours after the plan was supposed to happen, especially when they ignored being picked up twice and asks if the person is mad at them? Of course, anyone would be mad in that situation.

GracefullyEmpowered wrote:

You can never trust someone who disrespects you. Learn how to recognize disrespect and walk away immediately to preserve your well-being. Disrespect always escalates until you decide you've had enough. How much disrespect are you going to choose to put yourself thru?

Lorvintherealone wrote:

NTA. There are few things that could make me quit a friendship immediately and this is one of them. I personally think that making people wait for longer than 10 minutes without notice is terrible. just a short message/note saying: "sorry mate, it takes me a bit longer right now but I'll get there." or "sry can't do it today" makes it alright.

Was this the first time something like this happened? If no i'd say its fine but such things shouldn't repeat. If yes, don't keep her as your GF for too long as this will be a waste of time(Talk to her beforehand and depending on her reaction or her actions decide was to do.).

Not long after, OP jumped on with an update.

Update: After she went on a full rant over messages, I chose not to answer and pretty much ghost her. My POV was that if she can't understand how disrespectful she was, then this relationship wouldn't work. Since then she has tried to call me a couple of times, and I answered one of them, where I calmly explained to her my POV.

I asked her point blank if she could elaborate on why I am in the wrong here, which she couldn't. After that point, I just said that I'll need less stress in my life, not more, and have ghosted her since. This was approx 2 hours ago.

Some of you have asked about how long we have been together etc: I don't want to go into full detail, but the relationship is somewhat new, and we haven't been dating for more then 6 months. I have always been taught to be respectful of women, especially those I date, and I try to be, but it looks like that value was used. I will tread more carefully next time, and make sure to not be the "door mat."

Commenters kept it real, per usual.

Menektre wrote:

I had a guy do this to me. He was just really inconsiderate and expected me to be waiting around for him. He didn’t text me back for weeks? I was the selfish one for not understanding that he had a job even though I worked more hours than him.

She only wanted to meet up IF she had nothing better to do. You’re worth more than that. People have this way of dangling their affection in front of you. It’s like those pick up artists where they show a bit of interest and then insult (neg) the woman so she feels insecure and needs his attention. It’s manipulation and/or being completely inconsiderate. Either way, it’s rude and mean.

kuken_i_fittan wrote:

NTA. I wouldn't have driven back in the first place, but I also have very little patience for people respecting me so little that they think it's OK to waste my time. Then again, my dad's rule was 10 minutes. Things happen, so you get a bit of a grace period, but 20 minutes? He'd be long gone. I'm that way too.

SliceEquivalent825 wrote:

NTA. She is not showing you any respect. She could have easily texted you, but chose not to, you clearly were not important enough to give common courtesy. Time to move on, let her pull her bs with someone else.

Even_Budget2078 wrote:

NTA. Your gf was super disrespectful to you and your reaction was totally acceptable. Expressing you were irritated in response to a direct question is totally fine and a healthy way to respond when you are irritated by something. The bigger red flag is her being mad at you. I'm sorry what now? Tbh, that would give me pause if I were you about staying with her. Very gaslighty of her.

Clearly, OP did what he had to do.

Sources: Reddit
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