"AITAH for wanting to dump my fiancée after she injured herself while I was away?"

While I (30m) was away on business, my fiancée (32 f) decided to go out without telling me. We spoke in the afternoon, I was on my way to the airport ahead of an 8 hour flight, which was arriving at 5 am. Her friend had just come back from out of state and she was planning on taking her out to dinner. Once I landed I didn't want to wake her as she normally gets up around 7.

I got home and she wasn't there. Her car was parked outside but she wasn't in bed. For a moment I panicked and thought she had gone to surprise me at the airport and I somehow missed her. But her car was outside? I call her and her phone rang to voicemail. I call 10 more times while I shower and change.

At first I wasn't too worried thinking maybe she went for a run, but the scenarios running through my head were getting darker. We have our phones on our icloud account in case we lose them, so I bring it up to find her location. Her iPhone was at the hospital. My heart sank. I start heading to the hospital. All her family live out of state so there's no one to call.

The hospital is 10 minutes away, I speed, run red lights, park right in front of the emergency department door and go in like a maniac demanding the triage staff tell me where my wife is. They take me to her room. She's asleep in bed but I can immediately see she's hurt. Her lip is swollen and she looks like she's been beaten up. Bruises on her face, splint thing on her nose.

My panic and worry morph into rage and I demand to know what happened and who did this to her. I was informed that she arrived in an ambulance at 2am, having drunkenly stumbled and faceplanted onto the curb while leaving a bar. She had a broken nose, chipped tooth, and other minor abrasions and scratches but she was going to be fine.

This made absolutely no sense. I seriously feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I don't drink, never have, and she hasn't touched alcohol since college basically. I don't even know what's happening at this point.

She's tried to offer up some kind of explanation about how her friend pressured her to have wine while they were at dinner, and then they somehow ended up in a bar (she apparently has no recollection and "teleported" there). I've been giving her the silent treatment and it's 8pm. She has been crying and wanting some sort of consolement or reassurance but I genuinely think I'm done.

This whole thing just came out of left field, and I'm not handling it well at all. We've been living together since we got engaged and it would be a pretty clean split. Her parents own the house so I can basically just take my stuff and go, I guess?

I really don't know what to do, we've been together a year and a half, and I feel like we could get past this, but it's like this whole ordeal and the emotional rollercoaster have sapped away the love I felt for her. Anyways, sorry for the novel, but WIBTA if I dump her?

What do you think? WIBTA? This is what top commenters had to say:

Fearless_Industry978 said:

I can understand, if you have some sort of 'no alcohol' agreement being a bit annoyed in the same way if you're both vegan and someone goes for a steak you can be a bit annoyed. That said, she's injured and shaken up. That supercedes all your petty bullshit so you're a massive AH.

ThatSlothDuke said:

I....I don't understand.. he wanted to leave her because..she injured herself? Really?

minevras said:

His line of reasoning in the first post is so alien to me that I kept thinking I missed something important. I don’t entirely get it even still. Accidents happen, even if you’re sober and composed.

BeyondZardoz said:

YTA. This is kinda a big overreaction to someone going out to drink and getting hurt. Seems like you are just looking for an out to the relationship and this is the most convenient way.

OP responded:

She's definitely not cheating or sneaking around like some people seem to think. We also have great insurance so the medical bills are no issue.

It's definitely the first time anything like this has happened. She is super responsible and mature which I one of the things that has made us so compatible. She's always so dignified and composed which is one of the things I love most about her. Seeing her like this and learning about how it happened just kind of shattered the image I had of her in my mind. She is super embarrassed about it which doesn't really help.

RedQueen88 said:

YTA. “This whole ordeal and the emotional rollercoaster have sapped away the love I felt for her.” Your love for her wasn’t that substantial to begin with, clearly. Let her go find some true love.

Then, OP added another response in the comments:

I get it. I'm TA. Enough people mentioned that she was roofied so we went and got a drug panel done that came back clean. She just had too much to drink. Just to clarify since a lot of you said I'm controlling or whatever, I'm really not. She's free to go out, with or without telling me, it's just she normally always tells me her plans exactly which is why this was so abnormal.

Also, I never said I had a problem with her drinking, she's a grown woman and she can do whatever she wants. It's just that she never drinks which is why this was so shocking. She has a concussion, which we are blaming for the trouble remembering, I don't think she was blackout drunk and neither does she.

I'm not trying to defend my initial reaction, but I have a very stressful job (which has taken its toll on my mental health for sure) and I make an effort to eliminate any sort of non-work related stress as a matter of necessity. Coming back to my wife in the hospital seriously injured was absolutely devastating, and I know that I didn't react well.

My first thoughts were that she was attacked by someone, which infuriated me and made me want to go find whoever that was. Once I realized there was nobody to blame for this except her, some of those negative emotions were directed towards her. I'm not saying it's right, but I can't control how I feel.

Let me also be clear about one thing: I wasn't ignoring her, I just really didn't know what to say to her and I wanted to let her rest. I was processing the situation and I knew if I didn't control what I said I might say something that blamed her or was hurtful or something along those lines, which is why I decided to hold my tongue until I sorted out my feelings. Yes, I know I'm the AH

Later that day, OP updated his original post:

She broke off the engagement. We had a long talk and apparently I've been cold and unsupportive (i disagree but whatever) and she feels betrayed by my attitude? She thinks my expectations are unrealistic and that she's a human not a robot. She said she needs someone who can let her fail and I am not that person.

Three days later, he shared a new post:

"WIBTAH if I don't return the expensive watch my ex-fiancée's father gave me?"

We broke up after being engaged for six months. One night when we were at her parent's place her father gave it to me as a gift. It was shortly after we got engaged and it wasn't my birthday or anything like that, there was no occasion he just gave it to me and said "I want you to have this."

He took it off his wrist. I'm unlikely to ever see him again as he lives in California and I live in New York. He hasn't asked for it back nor has my ex. I doubt she has any clue what it's worth but I've had it appraised and it's worth over $70k. WIBTA if I keep the watch and don't say anything?

Commenters weighed in:

MangoSaintJuice said:

Just read your previous posts so yah ywbtah if you keep it, give it back to them

And yourtsgirlfriend said:

Yes, you would be the a$$hole if you keep the watch without discussing it with your ex-fiancée or her father. While the watch was given to you as a gift, its significant value and the circumstances of your breakup suggest that there might be emotional and familial attachments involved.

Keeping such a valuable item without at least offering to return it could be seen as disrespectful or opportunistic, especially considering the relationship dynamics and the fact that it was a gift from her father. It's best to communicate openly and transparently about it to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.