Bride dumps groom days before the wedding, 'we got into an argument over my outfit.' AITA?
"AITA for dumping my bf days before our wedding over an argument?"
I 23 (F) was planning a wedding with my boyfriend 27 (M) until I decided to cut things off last week. for context we got into an argument over my outfit that I wore to work which he thought was too much as it was a bit see-through, although I was covered fully in the past, we have gotten into a lot of arguments over my dressing because he thinks that he can just tell me what to dress like even though I have made this very clear to him that I do not allow him to do that, and I do not dress in any sort of provoking way I dress very modest with every part covered.
However, the issue was that he got so angry that he started disrespecting me and talking about how I like walking around naked and saying all the things that question my dignity, such as me wanting to flaunt my body off to other people at work. We have had these type of arguments before and I have told him very clearly that if this happens again, I will not tolerate it and since we were in the process of getting married, both of our families were very much involved too.
Since the break up, he has been apologizing to me, saying that he made a mistake while being angry, and that he will never do that to me again. He is generally a very nice calm person and has always been there for me and has a lot of good things in him however, this factor about him losing control and having no control over his tongue has always caused us trouble. He is promising me to change and give him a very last chance. Should I do that? Will I be an ahole if I don't?
EDITS:
I really want to give him a chance. I don't want to waste years of our efforts into building this relationship together, but atm i do not find it in my heart to forgive and continue. What should I do? As a person he is great, as a boyfriend he is just very insecure and he refuses to acknowledge his insecurities.
I shared a lot of your advices and comments with him that we are not compatible and all that however he insists on a fresh start. he's ready to call off the wedding and work on himself but i'm not hoping much. I'm not a type of person to give into very obvious toxic behaviors even if i'm infatuated so i assure some of you who are worried about me that I will be safe.
He is not harmful, he loves me a lot and I believe his willingness to change, however whether he can change or not, only time will tell. Right now since all of this is very fresh I feel very disconnected with him which is why I'm avoiding stating my feelings towards him. Maybe in few days I might would want to start fresh too, I'll take it slow. he is really begging for a chance saying he was scared he'd lose me to somebody else bc he has been cheated on in the past which somehow always affects our relationship.
I also believe that I'm very strongly opinionated and do not like other people dictating me for anything. as you can tell by the original post i never liked him telling me how to dress or who to talk to and stuff. maybe i need to work on finding common grounds too instead of rebelling.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Moist_Boat_9707 said:
NTA!!!!! You are way to young to be settling for this kind of treatment for life!! Your partner should never dictate what you can or can't wear! You deserve so much more! Move forward and never look back.
Local-Record7707 said:
NTA you don't need any reason to break up with someone anyways, you're not a prisoner.
RedditredRabbit said:
This is not marriage material. Run run run.
YogurtclosetGood1042 said:
No no no be grateful this happened before the wedding. It hurts now because you miss him/familiarity/comfort but he showed you who he really is. You need to listen.
Top_Put1541 said:
Insecure people are exhausting and they rarely change for the better, they just expect everyone to accommodate their hangouts. Better to end it now than watch him make your life smaller by making you miserable every time his insecurities rear their heads. NTA.
PrairieGrrl5263 said:
NTA. Girl, RUN. He thought he was in the home stretch, so he tipped his hand too early. This is the tip of the iceberg of what you'll endure if you let him off the hook this time. It only gets worse after he gets his ring on your finger. And if you bear his children? Worse and worse and worse. You made the right call. Stick to your guns.