"AITA for eating at a hospital cafeteria once a week? My sister tells me it's wrong.' MAJOR UPDATE

"AITAH for going to eat at a hospital cafeteria roughly once a week? My sister and family are telling me it's wrong."

Okay, hear me out. I work just a few blocks away from a hospital, and get there pretty quickly by bicycle. Their cafeteria is quaint with good prices. So usually once a week or so, I'll go there for lunch. The food isn't what I would call amazing. But they have nice variety from time to time. The staff even recognize me, and are always pleasant.

They don't mind that I'm just there for lunch. And it's far quieter eating there than at any local restaurant. I'm on the spectrum, and don't like loud noises. So the quiet lunches in this place are a godsend for me some days. Recently my sister found out I've been eating at the hospital.

And went off on me over how hospital cafeterias are only supposed to be there for people who are at the hospital because they need to be. I retorted that I was giving them business, and it's not like I was taking food out of the mouths of patients. And I only went once a week. So what was the big deal? But she still insisted I was wrong. Then she got our parents involved, and they're siding with her.

They are telling me I should only be eating at the hospital if I had an actual reason to be there. I told them they were all crazy, and it was just normal food that I was paying for. But now because neither they or I are backing down, I'm torn. AITA for going to eat lunch in a hospital cafeteria once a week just because I work nearby?

The commenters had a lot to say in response.

Variationok9359 wrote:

FFS it’s a cafeteria. you pay you eat, I hope the person telling you this is not someone you depend on for real life answers.

Intrepid-Squirrel904 wrote:

My friend works in hospital cafeteria and she post the specials daily for anyone to come n enjoy 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP responded:

Not usually, no. My sister is a bit of a control freak, and my parents enable her. I don't live with them. I have a studio apartment and ride a bike everywhere.

Laiko-Kairen wrote:

Hospital: Hello welcome!

Some completely uninvolved people: No!

Hmm gee, I wonder who to listen to.

That cafeteria feeds patients, family members, staffers, and anyone else who is hungry. They don't check to see if you "deserve" to eat there smh. And as an ex restaurant worker... never gave a damn who was eating the food I made as long as they liked it.

BlueGreen_1956 wrote:

NTA. I live in a city of about 50,000 people so maybe it's just a town. I happen to live almost exactly between the only two hospitals, both within walking distance if I chose to do so. I have bopped into both of them now and then for lunch. The food is certainly a bit better than fast food. And the hospitals don't care. They are making money.

Roughly a month later, OP shared a longer post about the topic.

I really apologize for the length of this post. But writing down all the details took way longer than I thought. And this situation was downright crazy. I never thought my sister would do something like this.

Not too long ago I (23m) posted for advice because my parents and sister were angry at me for regularly eating in a hospital cafeteria because it's close to my work. I enjoy the peace and quiet there on the days I do show up to eat. But this situation escalated so radically, that I can't believe something so dumb actually happened. My sister did the pettiest thing she's ever done to me.

And for completely undeserved reasons too. When my sister found out I was eating at the hospital cafeteria, she went off on me over how that food is just for people who are at the hospital because they need to be. We ended up in a big argument about it in which I told her it wasn't like I was taking food from the mouths of patients. Then she went to our parents to get them on her side like always.

And they immediately sided with her just like I thought they would. They backed her up on how the hospital cafeteria was not a place to go eating casually. And we had a big argument. They spent days hounding me and telling me I was wrong, and demanding I stop. So I went to the internet. And here I learned that not only was I not doing anything wrong.

But it's a very common thing for people to go eat at hospital cafeterias just because they like it. I hoped the situation would just fade away. But a few days later, my sister called me asking if I had stopped eating at the hospital. I said no. And then it started all over again. My parents then called me fuming and acting like I was supposed to stop going because they said so.

I reminded them that I don't live under their roof anymore. And this is exactly the kind of reason why I moved out. They take my sister's side in almost everything. They huffed and puffed about it. This time the fight didn't stay at home though. Other relatives found out because my sister tried to broaden her support.

She was so dead set on enforcing her will upon me, that she went looking for help from other relatives. But our parents were the only ones on her side. And my uncle personally admonished my parents and her over the phone for it once I told him what actually happened. He told them they were only siding with my sister because she's their favorite.

And they're terrible parents for ever playing favorites to begin with. Then cousin went to eat with me at that hospital cafeteria, and said he'd like to go there once as week too, as he also works nearby and bicycles everywhere. We've run into each other at lunch there once already since then. He was actually rather pleased to find out the food was made healthier than most other places.

He's a bit of a picky eater. So this place is kinda like his new lunch hangout. And my sister got even angrier after finding out there were other people in the family eating at the hospital now too. Once outed, my parents backed down due to embarrassment.

They apologized to me, and gave me some malarkey that they honestly thought eating at a hospital was weird, and that they felt like they just needed to defend my sister. I told them they'd been placating my sister for so long, that it's all they do whenever she starts something with anyone.

She's been treating me like a condescending control freak and a bully since we were teenagers, even though I'm older. And they just kept enabling that. But I won't put up with it anymore. My parents ended up conceding, and apologized. Then they made my sister apologize to me too. And I could tell she hated every second of it, because she tried to speak through her teeth at first.

Later on my parents invited me to dinner as another form of apology. But it felt more like a show to look good to the rest of the family, because they told everyone about it before it even happened. The dinner was great, I can't deny. My parents had cooked a turkey. Arguable one of my favorite things to eat. I love the drumsticks slathered with gravy. Yeah, I'm kinda a pig when I eat them. But I can't help it.

My sister always thought it hilarious. And was one of the few things I didn't mind her laughing about. So I thought nothing of why she was so giggly at dinner. Later after the family dinner, I noticed that my bike was missing. I'd parked it in the back yard out of sight. But it was just gone. I freaked out because it's my only mode of transportation. My parents did panic a bit with me.

But my sister seemed just the opposite. She actually looked happy and was still giggling. I immediately suspected her, and she played innocent. She even gave the "I can't believe you'd think I'd do something like that!" line. I already knew she's extremely petty. But this was a whole new level of it for her.

So I said that I was gonna go over to the neighbor because I know they have cameras, and they'd have seen what happened. And then I'd call the cops. My sister suddenly looked panicked, and I got mad and said I knew it was her. And demanded my bike back. She started crying and saying she didn't do anything. And our parents were immediately taking her side while scolding me for daring to accuse her.

So I had enough and said I was going to the neighbor's to ask to check their cameras. And then I'd be calling the men in blue. My sister finally fessed up and called me to come back. The looks on our parents' faces after they'd just defended her were priceless. My sister said she was just so angry at me for having made her apologize for something she still believed she was right about.

So she planned to have a couple of her friends to come and grab my bike during dinner. She said her friends were in a minivan with it just down the street. She then started saying that I couldn't call police on her anyway, because I'm her big brother. Our parents backed that up too. But I pulled out my phone and started marching outside again. They ran after me with my sister begging and crying for me to stop.

I called her a brat. And then I told my parents I couldn't believe they were still defending her when she was acting this way. Our parents finally hit their enabling limit with her and told her to make her friends bring my bike back immediately. She got on her phone while sniffling and called her friends up. But then she suddenly ran into her room to talk to them.

I couldn't hear a thing she said through the door because it was all in whispers. And our parents looked very worried too. My sister would never have willingly admitted she had my bike stolen. She just kept sobbing that it was only a prank over and over again. And she also kept using the excuse that it's just a cheap bike anyway. I bought it used some months ago for $50. But it's in great shape.

And it's my main mode of transportation. My sister kept looking at our parents to back her up. And that time they just couldn't. So she just slumped down in a chair hugging her knees and waiting with the rest of us. My sister looked increasingly freaked out the longer her friends took to bring my bike back, and was repeatedly texting them.

Even though my sister said her friends were just down the street, it took them roughly an hour to bring my bike back. They finally pulled up in the minivan with my bike shoved in the back. And it was completely soaked and all muddy. Like it'd just been pulled out of a wet muddy ditch. The bike is a 700c, so it's too tall for either of them to ride.

So they just drove right up and st-le the bike by dragging it into the van as fast as they could before taking off. I say they stole it because I was almost certain in the moment my sister had told them to dispose of my bike. Had I not pointed out the neighbors have cameras, I may not have gotten it back. When her friends did finally arrive, their legs were all muddy and wet nearly up to their knees.

They both begged me not report them to police for taking the bike. I asked while recording them to tell me the truth, and pointed out the neighbors have cameras. Did my sister want them to get rid of my bike? They broke down and said yes, my sister wanted them to take the bike and dump it in a pond a few miles away. And they had to go back and get it when they realized they were caught.

My bike had been near completely submerged in muddy water. Thankfully I didn't have many added accessories on it other than a detachable headlight and my water bottle. But the water bottle was missing. I wasn't surprised by what my sister's friends told me. And I had them tell our parents too. They laid into my sister till she was bawling on the floor kicking and pounding like a toddler.

I had never seen my sister act that way since she actually was a toddler. And I found it mortifying she was still like this on the inside. Then she shut herself in her room. Her friends were banned from ever coming to my parents' house again. Then my sister was forced to come out of her room by our mother, and make another big apology to me.

Our father then forced her to wash and oil my bike from stem to stern under his supervision while I took apart the headlight and cleaned it out to dry it. By the time my sister was done, it was dark outside. She glared at me like I was the devil when she came back in the house. But our parents shut her attitude right down, and said they've never been more embarrassed by her in their lives.

She went back to crying in her room. I had a very frank discussion with my parents about my sister's child-like behavior. And how it stemmed from their spoiling and enabling. I said I couldn't believe I had to be the voice of reason. But the fact that she was on the floor crying like a toddler, kicking and pounding, showed that she's still mentally a child because of them.

And they kept making me the scapegoat when she screwed up, so she barely knows any sense of accountability. For once they didn't argue with me about it. And then my father silently drove me and my bike back to my apartment with his SUV. He also gave me some money to replace my bike's missing water bottle before we parted.

My sister and her clique used to harass me a fair bit whenever we ran into each other. They made fun of me as a group whenever possible. And I usually just ignored them because they bored me. And that really seemed to tick them off. But after the bike incident, I got sent numerous messages from numbers I didn't know cussing me out for making my sister cry over a silly prank.

Knowing her, my sister probably fed everyone she knew a very different story on what happened. I texted lengthy replies of what actually happened, and even stated I have recordings of her friends admitting the truth. Some people at my sister's college found out what actually went down. Maybe from my texts, maybe her friends spilled the beans.

But it embarrassed my sister so much she came home having a crying tantrum about how people there were calling her and her friends B's and a bike thieves. I may not have gone to college. But I know students who need them are VERY protective of their bikes. A lot of them live on shoestring budgets after all.

My sister said someone even joked that they shouldn't leave a bike around her, because it might just disappear if she had to apologize to anyone. My sister ended up so upset that she refused to leave her room for three days to have her pity party. My parents called me up to try and turn everything on me again.

I reminded them about the discussion we had days before, and that they needed to stop babying her, and let her deal with the repercussions of her own actions. If she fails her classes again, it's because she's not trying like she should be. Then I went off on them how were just looking for someone to blame to make her feel better. She made the problem. Not me.

And I wasn't gonna be the one they make the scapegoat anymore. My sister is an adult. And she needs to act like it. They sounded defeated, and then apologized before ending the call. Looks like they were genuinely hoping I'd just sit back and take the blame so my sister would get better. But I never will again.

Now my parents are trying to pretend this all never happened, and my sister as well as her clique are avoiding me at all costs. Which I suppose is fine with me. Because I don't want anymore drama. But the next time something like this happens, I won't take it from them.

TL;DR: My sister make a big deal of me eating at a hospital cafeteria, and then had her friends take and dump my bike just because I made her apologize to me. Now she's being ridiculed by everyone.

The internet did not hold back one bit.

aquavenatus wrote:

I remember your post on #AITA. Your sister is that bratty that she would have her friends steal your bike and ruin it just to make a point?! And, your parents don’t see a problem with it?! What did the rest of your family say about this?!

OP responded:

Oh they were furious with them. I didn't include details about it because the post was already way too long. But my aunt and uncle gave my parents one hell of a dressing down, twice. The first time in person the day after the bike theft happened. They had a long discussion with my parents over how their babying has prevented my sister from growing up.

And she wouldn't be able to function without them if she never learns to become an adult. The second time was after my parents called me to try and make me take blame when my sister locked herself in her room for three days.

I talked with my cousin that evening when we met up to have dinner together. And he told his parents (My aunt and uncle). And they called my parents to ask them what the hell. Then told them that they were beyond ashamed of them that they still tried to make me the scapegoat.

And that they didn't care if old habits die hard. It's gonna stop. Lets just say my sister wasn't the only one crying anymore. No one has told me anything about what's going on with my sister at her college for a while. And she's avoiding me. My parents have also not spoken to me since that call. So I have no idea what's going on at their end.

Snoobunnies7461 wrote:

Man your sister is a piece of work. Overly critical for something that is NONE OF HER BUSINESS. My dad use to do deliveries and his favorite place to grab lunch or coffee was at hospitals because everything was fresh and priced well. I'm really glad your sister's college friends voiced worry about their bikes after they found out what she did. Her bad behavior is just the gift that keeps on giving.

OP responded:

You're right about that. I just hope this incident made her and my parents realize I won't ever let them treat me like that again.

Snackinpenguin wrote:

Your sister is flat out unhinged. Retaliating for stealing and dumping a bike because you ate at a hospital? That had nothing to do with her. She didn’t own the hospital. The cost of the food wasn’t coming out of her pocket. And stealing a bike as a prank? This goes beyond a joke when it’s your primary transportation. It would have cost you way more to replace.

The cherry on the top would have been forwarding the messages from unknown numbers to your parents to deal with. If she considers herself an adult, this was her introduction to FAFO. Welcome to the world of consequences. Not your problem that she got ridiculed at college and couldn’t handle it.

Hyena_Straight8737 wrote:

The cafeteria absolutely doesn't have s--t to do with feeding the patients. That's a whole different department often not even on site. The food is made to VERY specific measurements per tray, some special for certain dietary requirements and simply is heated in the hospital.

If they do have a patient kitchen on site it is usually downstairs in basically the basement The cafeteria is a for profit set up, they are for anyone not a patient to eat at. Not only are your parents and sister overreacting, but they are absolutely f--king stupid.