'AITA for ending relationship after being accused of cheating and then finding an AirTag in my car?'
"AITA for ending a relationship after being accused of cheating and then finding an AirTag in my car?"
We had been together almost 2 years. We used Life360 for safety reasons, as I was always the road. Life360 became an issue because he wanted to be able to see where I was, but said he didn’t need to have his in because he didn’t do anything.
In June, my son was k--led. In October, my favorite Aunt passed. In November, my daughter and her partner of ten years separated, with implications of an inappropriate relationship between him and my 18 yo granddaughter. She was underage when it began. With all of this going on, my time with my boyfriend suffered.
I used to spend Wednesday afternoons to Sunday afternoons with him. With things happening with my daughter, I have been going down to her new home and getting my grandchildren to school. My daughter leaves for work before 5:15am and I don’t want my grandchildren to have to get up and go to work with her, that’s just not right.
So anyway, my time with my boyfriend went to Friday morning to Sunday afternoon. On Sunday, he kind of accused me of cheating because my time with him is two days shorter. I don’t know how to make this guy understand with everything I’ve been through, where does he think I’m fitting someone else into the picture.
On my way home Sunday, my phone notified me of an AirTag traveling with me. When I got home, I found the AirTag in my emergency roadside kit! I was beyond upset! I went to his house yesterday while he was gone, got all my stuff and left. AITA for ending things?
The internet had a lot of thoughts about the intense situation.
WTH_JFG wrote:
NTA. With the recent events in your life, your post makes perfect sense for the grief and drama and the added responsibilities you have taken on. Everyone grieves differently. Do not let anyone tell you how you are supposed to walk through these tragedies. You cannot get around them.
You’re not going to “get over it” (or under it, either). The only way is to walk through it. Not to add more on your shoulders, but grief counseling can be very helpful. But that’s not what you asked about. Not only are you NTA (it makes sense that you would ask that question, BTW), your BF is a selfish self-centered idiot that needs to make it all about him.
The fact that he hid an air tag in the repair kit in the back of your vehicle is unconscionable.Congratulations on getting your stuff out of his house. Block him on your phone and social media. He is TA. Peace as you trudge this part of the journey. Condolences on your losses. Check with a local hospice for grief counseling. They usually have help available.
OP responded:
Working on the grief counseling!
Comfortable-Hold77 wrote:
If he can track you but you can't track him and he jumps to you cheating it makes me wonder if he is projecting and he's actually cheating. That way he could check where you were so as not to get caught with his side piece.
OP responded:
The first words out of my 16yo granddaughter’s mouth was “he’s accusing you of what he’s doing!” Smart young woman.
CharmingWino865 wrote:
NTA. That he cannot understand that's with everything going on in your life at this time your priorities have shifted, that is a red flag. The fact that he put an Air Tag in your car to keep track of where you are going, that makes him a red flag factory! That, to me is what would put the nail in the coffin of this relationship.
Inside_Major_8078 wrote:
You are totally NTA. Him placing a tracker in/on your car is beyond over the edge (and borderline unhinged). Get your locks changed so he can't come snooping when your not home.
Change any/all passwords he might even have a chance of guessing. Remove him from any shared accounts (Netflix, Hulu, YouTube...). Block him everywhere. If you listed him as an emergency contact purge that too. Good luck and keep us updated.
OP responded:
He never had keys to my place, I always went to his. Passwords have been changed.
CeramicSavage wrote:
NTA. He chose to ignore all you were dealing with to come out of left field with a ridiculous accusation. You don't have time for this s--t. You're grieving and trying to help your daughter because you're a good mother. You don't need a man that disparages your character because you put your family first.
Gwen_Whisper wrote:
NTA. Your plate’s been more than full with real life issues, and instead of support, you got suspicion and a side of privacy invasion. Ending things was a solid move because trust and respect are must-haves, and that AirTag? Total deal-breaker.
Snoopyiscute wrote:
NTA. I am sorry about your son, aunt and granddaughter. That's a lot. Your partner should have been right by your side giving you all the moral support you needed. I'm very glad you didn't hesitate to leave him. The refusal to have the app on his phone was bad enough but the Air Tag is just disgusting.
An acquaintance physically attacked me, stole my keys, sabotaged my vehicle, went through my phone because he was pissed that I refused to add him to my lease. He wasn't even a friend! Just somebody I met at a shelter when my parents threw me out post-divorce.
Your ex's behavior sounds just as unhinged and paranoid and he was probably projecting. Please don't let him back in your life no matter what he says. You need a man that will stand WITH you, especially in times of trouble.
You deserve so much better.