'AITA for exposing my boyfriend’s friend after he repeatedly tried to sleep with me?'

"AITA for exposing my boyfriend’s friend after he repeatedly tried to sleep with me?"

This is a bit messy, but here it goes. Before I started dating my boyfriend, his friend (let’s call him “Jake”) asked me out. I declined because I wasn’t interested, and later, I got into a relationship with my now-boyfriend. I didn’t know they were friends at the time.

When Jake found out I was dating his friend, he started becoming very intentional about wanting to sleep with me. He would flirt, make inappropriate comments, and even tried to convince me that it would be “our secret.” I shut him down every time, but he wouldn’t stop.

It got to a point where I felt uncomfortable, so I told my boyfriend about it. I also decided to inform Jake’s girlfriend (let’s call her “Anna”) because I felt she deserved to know. I even showed her proof of his messages.

After everything came out, my boyfriend cut Jake off, and Anna broke up with him. Now, some mutual friends think I caused unnecessary drama and ruined Jake’s life. They argue that I should’ve kept it between Jake and me instead of telling Anna. So, AITAH for exposing him and causing these consequences?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Wooden_television701 wrote:

I refuse to believe anybody would blame you for telling Anna. Wtf. Where is Omar.

Nomorejojo wrote:

I love how people call it "unnecessary drama" when you were getting harassed. Yet they won't comment on that. Continue to flush the toxins down the drain and protect your peace.

NTA.

Magestic_Bit_4784 wrote:

NTA. You did the poor girl a favor and she had every right to know what her bf gets up to, you might not of even been the first girl he’s done this to. He may of even already cheated physically with girls prior to you. From what you said he appeared confident enough to try it with you knowing your his friend's gf.

Clarice0118 wrote:

NTA, Jake crossed so many boundaries, and you had every right to protect yourself and let Anna know the truth. Actions have consequences, and his behavior is what ruined his life, not you exposing it. It’s not “dram”, it’s accountability.

nylonvest wrote:

NTA. Jake's the one who did all these things, so he's the one who has caused the consequences. As for keeping it between you and Jake - you did try, that's why this had to happen multiple times before you told your boyfriend. It's that he wouldn't stop. Could you have convinced him to stop without exposing him?

Maybe. But it's really not your responsibility to preserve the secrecy as much as possible. If he wanted not to be exposed he shouldn't have made you feel like he would never stop.

jimbojangles1987 wrote:

Another one of these "my friends and family are split on this very obviously NTA thing i did" that makes me immediately think it's fake.

Why would anyone think you were in the wrong? Are those the type of people you still want to be calling "friends"? The answer should be no.

Trixielizz wrote:

NTA. Jake made his bed, now he has to sleep in it. If you’ve told him no multiple times and he kept pushing, that’s straight-up harassment. You didn’t owe him loyalty, especially when he was disrespecting you and your relationship.

It’s not your fault his actions blew up in his face. You gave his girlfriend the truth she deserved. If people think you’re the villain for holding him accountable, that’s more a reflection of them than of you. You did the right thing.

radicalcoach wrote:

Those mutual friends are not friends. They’re advocating lying and hidden manipulation. I would cut them out too. Let them know since they seem to think it’s OK for people to lie and cheat on their spouses, because don’t kid yourself that guy would’ve gone to bed with you in a heartbeat, then they are welcome to have that kind of relationship with Jake. Good riddance.

Ok_routine9099 wrote:

NTA. Jake was bordering on stalking but definitely a sex pest. If Jake assaulted you later, or only made up lies about you…you’d be likely judged for keeping this secret.

The friends who are telling you that you’re wrong are either not your friends or are too naive to know how this kind of thing plays out.

TheUndyingSinHeart wrote:

NTA. I would also heavily question those mutual “friends” morality. Who backs up a cheater and creep tf? That’s heavily questionable behavior. There’s no keeping the peace if someone can’t take a no especially if they’re in a relationship already like seriously? You didn’t do anything wrong girl, you did your bf and that girl a favor, never question it.

squirrelfish50 wrote:

Integrity is “doing the right thing, even if no one is watching.” You held your ground, were VERY clear you weren’t interested, and he didn’t back off. Jake has serious s-xual predator vibes. You did the right thing. Sometimes extra drama is not a bad thing - you stood up and protected everyone in this story except the perpetrator. You didn’t cause it - Jake did. Good job!

Expert_Ambassador_66 wrote:

If your SO's friend makes a move on you, you should always make sure your SO is incredibly aware of what happened. This goes double if one of your friends. And imo, that person (SO's friend or your friend) should be cut off immediately.

Treat your partner right.