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'AITA for exposing my husband online for cheating on me with multiple women?' UPDATED

'AITA for exposing my husband online for cheating on me with multiple women?' UPDATED

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Cheaters never like being exposed.

"AITAH for exposing my husband online?"

I (28F) recently discovered that my husband (32M) had been not only unfaithful, but also financially irresponsible. I had been struggling to pay bills since he had lost his job. But it turns out, he had been squandering our savings on expensive dates with not one, but two women.

When I confronted him about his infidelity and financial negligence, he showed no remorse and instead accused me of being too demanding. I felt betrayed and enraged, so I decided to expose him on social media. The financial strain in our relationship began when my husband lost his job. I had been trying my best to keep our finances afloat, juggling bills and expenses alone.

It was a stressful time, and I thought we could make it through together. I was so wrong. During a shift at work, an anonymous source reached out to me. They shared screenshots of conversations between my husband and one of the other women he had been involved with. These chats revealed details of their plans, their relationships, etc. At that moment, I felt a wave of anger washed over me.

I couldn't believe how carelessly he had treated our relationship, our finances, and me. My husband, whose dad was a pastor, liked to preach about loyalty. But when it came down to it, he was running around with not one, but two women behind my back. Talk about hypocrisy, huh? Feeling pissed and betrayed, I decided to put my husband on blast on social media.

I uploaded all the evidence of his cheating and tagged him and his father, letting everyone know what a two-timing jerk he was. The fallout was massive, and he found himself in the spotlight, exposed for the hypocrite he was. Despite the mountain of evidence I shared, my husband's dad was still defending him like a loyal knight.

He called me a liar, dismissed the screenshots, and claimed his precious son wouldn't do something like this. Talk about denial, am I right? Meanwhile, I was already deep in the process of filing for divorce. His dad's blind loyalty was just adding an extra layer of annoyance. Recently, one of my girlfriends told me I was overreacting, and it's normal for my husband to have more partners.

So, I've been wondering lately. Did I overreact? 😭

EDIT : Forgot to add, but my husband (before marrying me) posted & exposed his cheating partner, so I guess I'm returning the favor.

Commenters did not hold back.

churchofdan wrote:

One of your girlfriends thinks it's okay for your husband to have girlfriends? That's not a person you should remain friends with...

Serious-Day5968 wrote:

Her friend is probably one of the women her husband is sleeping with.

Thornedrosewrites wrote:

Of course she’s been with him, why else would another woman defend a cheating man-wh-re?

OP responded:

Wait, do people actually think my friend is one of the "women" he was with? 😭 Now that I think about it, possibly. I didn't add this because I didn't think it was significant but; my friend, I mentioned here "one of my girlfriends told me I was overreacting, and it's normal for my husband to have more partners". We'll just call her Emma (F25).

Emma used to work w/ the same company my husband worked at, they did once go on a business trip TOGETHER. My husband told me they didn't share rooms, back then, when I asked. But now that I realized it, the company only provided ONE room.

outdoorluvvr wrote:

A pastor, condoning his son’s infidelity and gaslighting the victim. Not surprising that a pastor would do this because they tend to be hypocritical, egotistical, morally and ethically deficit. What the husband is doing is morally wrong and will continue to do so in life, because Daddy has his back.

This man should be stripped of his “pastor” title as he’s clearly unfit to teach the Bible. To the wife, to hell with him. Find yourself someone who won’t treat you like that.

Candid-Bullfrog2949 wrote:

Mate...my SM blasts would have become a series. My shady husband's equally shady father, 'Pastor Pass her to me next,'. closely folowed by, 'My husbands thirrd girlfriend and loyal dog: Friends name'. Hell hath no.

red-beerd wrote:

NTA. Personally, I wouldn't have done it, but I wouldn't blame someone doing that to a cheating spouse.

"My husband, whose dad was a pastor, liked to preach about loyalty. But when it came down to it, he was running around with not one, but two women behind my back. Talk about hypocrisy, huh?"

Fun story - my ex wife cheated on me with one of our close friends. When it all came out, our friend group stopped talking to him. His father occasionally gave the sermon at our church, and shortly after this all went down, his father gave a sermon about how the worst thing you can do is ignore a friend when they need support, and that that's way worse than cutting contact with someone who wronged you.

In their minds, I'm the villain for not trying to support him for feeling guilty about sleeping with my ex wife. Our friend group was the villain for not talking to him and including him in hang outs where I would be there.

sweet_venus wrote:

NTA. You were deeply hurt and betrayed by your husband’s actions, both emotionally and financially. Exposing him online was a way to reclaim some sense of control and justice in a situation where you felt completely wronged.

His hypocrisy and lack of remorse justified your reaction. It’s important to surround yourself with supportive people who understand the gravity of what you went through. Your friend’s comment about it being "normal" is troubling and dismissive of your feelings.

Five hours later, OP shared an update.

Thank you all for your support and input. After much reflection and considering the advice you've given, I've made the difficult decision to file for divorce. While it breaks my heart to end my marriage, I can't ignore the pain and trust that has been betrayed.

It's time to prioritize my own well-being and move forward.

I've also got a lot of people telling me, apparently, my friend was probably sleeping w/ my husband. I looked into the matter, and I don't wanna give exact details but you were right.

I understand some of the skepticism and accusations of 'ragebait', and I get it. My account is new and the situation can seem sensational, but I assure you this is very real. I created this account specifically for this purpose (Plus this account is for my niece, she has the log-in).

I wanted to reach out for support and advice without my online friends being made aware. It's a personal matter that I need to handle while keeping my privacy intact. This isn't about stirring up drama; it's about navigating a painful and difficult situation. Please approach with an open mind and understanding.

Lastly, I want to express my gratitude for everyone who has taken the time to offer advice and support. I know it's easy to doubt online stories, especially on a new account, but your insights have meant a lot to me. While this is a painful journey, your kindness helps make it a bit easier. Thank you all for listening and offering guidance.

The internet was glad to hear an update.

daaj1991 wrote:

Before you do anything, please make sure you have a plan. Make sure you are safe. Surround yourself with supportive people. Hugs.

Away_Understanding34 wrote:

I am glad you are putting yourself 1st and not just "forgiving" him. Also, see if you can sue him for the money he spent on these women if you are the one paying the bills.

az-anime-fan wrote:

Oof. Well I'm sorry my cynicism is right on the money as well. having been cheated on myself i know that's a knife to the heart you probably would have liked to have done without. especially from the friend.

Now is the time to protect yourself.Mmake sure you consult with a good divorce attorney ASAP, assuming you guys have some amassed shared assets it's best you get the most you can out of the divorce.

The more work you can do before you give him the divorce papers the better your chances are. are you in a "at fault" divorce state? if so you'll need to document the affairs. Good luck and all my love. this is going to get worst before it gets better. Just know it will get better.

IndividualDevice9621 wrote:

You're not a very good writer if you can't even keep your story straight between two reddit posts. In the first one you were "already deep in the process of filing for divorce" and now you've just made "the difficult decision to file for divorce" after advice from reddit.

I get all posts are fake, but you need to make them at least somewhat believable. Next time make sure you don't contradict yourself in your updates and give it more than 5 hours before your second post. Keep trying though, you'll get better.

NoLeek8785 wrote:

She left a comment for me to come here so here I am lol. I see she deleted her account I guess? She probably won't see this since she deleted her account but; Oh bubba I'm sorry. I DON'T like being right.

But I have been with a narcissistic sociopath and ever since then I can just SPOT red flags. Sometimes I really hate it because I see my friends or complete f-king strangers on the Internet getting gaslit and I wanna just grab them and hug them and tell them what's up!

In terms of ragebait, if I have learned ANYTHING about people on the internet, it's that most of them have no idea wtf is going on in their own lives (and/or they are complete jerks themself so someone going through a painful event is FUN for them) so they think when someone comes and posts a pretty tepid story, that they are automatically lying or looking for pats on the head. Pay no mind to those people.

I hope you get through this safely and actually GET what you want out of life and from a good, healthy, safe, boundary driven relationship!

P.S F- cheaters but f- cheaters who also lie about it and make YOU feel crazy.

Sources: Reddit
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