'AITA for falling out with my mom after finding out she’s preaching her religion to my daughter?'

"AITAH for falling out with my mom after finding out she’s preaching her new religion to my daughter?"

I (32F) am a single mom to my amazing 7-year-old daughter. For a bit of context, my mom (59F) has always been a bit of a free spirit. She’s the type of person who goes all in on whatever new thing she’s into like crystals, yoga retreats, you name it. But recently, she joined this really intense religious group, and things have gotten… weird.

At first, I didn’t say much about it. She seemed happy, and I figured it was one of her phases. She’s always been like this she’ll go all out for a year or two, then lose interest. I just let her do her thing. But lately, she’s been talking about this religion a lot. Like, constantly bringing it up in conversations with me, even when it’s not relevant. I shrugged it off because, honestly, I didn’t want to argue with her.

The problem started with my daughter. My mom babysits for me sometimes when I’m working late, and my daughter loves spending time with her grandma. I thought it was all good crafts, baking cookies, the usual grandma stuff. But last week, my daughter came home and started saying some really strange things.

Stuff like, “Grandma said we have to prepare for the end times” and “Only the chosen people will be safe.” I was like… what?? I asked her where she heard that, and she said, “Grandma talks to me about it all the time. She reads me stories and tells me what will happen to people who don’t believe.”

Y’all, I saw red. I called my mom right away and asked her what the hell she was doing. She didn’t even deny it!

She said she was just “sharing her beliefs” and that she was “helping” my daughter by teaching her the truth.

I told her that was completely unacceptable, and she got super defensive, saying I was “trying to silence her” and “keeping my daughter’s soul in danger.” I lost it. I told her that she was crossing a major boundary and that I wouldn’t let her see my daughter anymore if she couldn’t keep her religion to herself.

She basically said she couldn’t make that promise because her faith is “too important.” Now, half my family is mad at me. My brother is on my side and thinks Mom’s gone off the deep end, but some of my aunts and cousins are saying I’m being too harsh and that I’m “punishing her for her beliefs.”

But like, I’m not banning her religion or telling her she can’t practice it. I just don’t want her indoctrinating my kid! My daughter is 7 she doesn’t even know what any of this stuff means yet! So now, I feel stuck. My mom won’t back down, and I can’t trust her to babysit anymore. Am I overreacting here? Should I have handled it differently? AITAH?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Candid_Process1831 wrote:

NTA! Keep you daughter on distance from your mom for the moment stuff like this can get out of control quickly specially where religion is involved!

OP responded:

That's what I'm going to do for now till my mother calms down with this! I don't care whatever religion my mother believes in now but I just don't want here preaching it to my daughter!

Similar_Cranberry_23 wrote:

Keep your kid away, maybe after a little time she will see reason. NTA.

OP responded:

I just hope my mom gets her stuff together soon!

TwinklingPetalDream wrote:

You’re definitely not the AH here. It’s your responsibility to protect your daughter from anything that could be harmful or confusing for her, especially when she’s so young. Your mom crossed a huge boundary by teaching your daughter about her religious views without your consent, especially in a way that could be unsettling or scary for a child.

You’ve made it clear that your daughter isn’t old enough to process that kind of information, and you’re just trying to make sure she’s not exposed to things that might affect her well-being. It’s not about silencing anyone’s beliefs, it’s about setting boundaries to protect your kid. Your mom’s response was super defensive, and it seems like she’s not respecting your role as a parent.

If she can’t respect your wishes regarding your daughter’s upbringing, it makes sense that you’d pull back from letting her babysit. You’re doing the right thing by standing firm for your child, and it’s a shame your family doesn’t see it that way. You’re not overreacting at all—you’re being a good mom.

Shep2105 wrote:

NTA.

A seven-year-old is highly impressionable and will absorb what your mom's saying like a sponge. Plus, she will not forget it. It will always be there, hovering in the background, that the end is nigh and wondering if she made the cut to be saved.

Someone she loves is telling her this, so of course, she believes it. This is how indoctrination and brainwashing start. I'd keep her far away and tell those relatives to mind their own business. What your mom is espousing isn't religion...it's cult speak.

Fragrant_Imposter wrote:

Hey, OP. I grew up with a mother who believed this sort of stuff. I grew up fighting the belief that the world would end in my immediate future and that I would not get a chance to live my whole life. Added to this, my mother would often tell me that things I did, liked, or supported were bad and that the devil was influencing me. It really messed me up.

I was reckless and got into dangerous situations because I thought I was going to die soon anyway, had a hard time focusing on school for years, developed panic attacks, etc. I spent years working on getting over the panic and depression from that. I used tv shows like Supernatural and Lucifer to desensitize myself to biblical names so I could hear them without feeling nauseous and shaky.

I have long-term emotional, mental, and physical issues from stress.

Please don't let your kid go through this. Just because someone believes this stuff doesn't make them malicious.

My mother loved me a lot, but she was too damaged to realize how her damage was affecting me until years later. Your mother is too close to her beliefs to be objective, and your daughter is too young to know how. You must hold the boundaries for what is acceptable to tell her. You cannot force your mother to abide by them - only encourage her to do so and hold them if she does not.