'AITA for abandoning my so-called family?' 'I've suspected it for awhile.'

"AITA for abandoning my so-called family after discovering the truth?"

I [32]M an married an been since I was 20. We had a little boy a few years ago who is 9 now. My wife is the same age me. Recently it has came to my attention that my partner is less than faithful. I caught her cheating on red handed. I won't get into that part though. I've suspected it for a while, but I never could catch her she was very good at being a liar.

We stayed together for the kid an were halfway trying to work things an I was living in a hotel for a bit. She has a best friend that is known for having multiple partners. An one night I ran into her an we hung out drinking an she ended up staying the night at my hotel room. We didn't do anything physical. She tried to kiss me an I just couldn't go through with it.

My wife apparently decides to come see me the next morning an there was a blow out. The cops were called from the screaming and I was kicked out of the hotel. In the middle of all that, she told me that our son wasn't even mine. At first I just figured she was trying to hurt me but after a while got a DNA test.

She was not lying. Now, for the worst part. After I found out, I tried to talk to her so we could figure out what to tell him. He already knows apparently--his real father threatened to take her to court two years ago if she didn't let him see the kid.

Apparently she had been taking him to see his real dad once a month since an I had no idea. I was devastated by him knowing before I did an with everything that happened so I just left that night an haven't spoken to them in over six months now.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Rimuru_The_Junior said:

NTA and go full on nuclear with a divorce because you should have filed for a divorce when you caught her instead of staying married to a cheater. Expose her to everyone she knows and sue the real dad for knowingly letting you raise his kid.

Marble05 said:

It was a set up by her friend to have you "cheat" so she has a shot in the divorce.

Userudkm said:

NTA. Feel sorry for the kid, absolutely. But you have the right to walk away and heal as well. You would be the asshole if the child was yours. But he's not. He has his dad. And it seems like the dad wants the kid in his life. So, I don't see the problem in you walking away. You're hurt and you're only human.

SafeWord9999 said:

What can you do legally to burn your exes world to the ground? I’d be doing that. Suing her for parental fraud for starters.

Ifiwerenyourshoes said:

NTA, expose her for paternity fraud. Sue the real father for emotional duress, have your name removed from the birth certificate, divorce your wife, and sue her for paternity fraud and emotional duress separately. Seek to give her nothing. Let everyone know she is a cheater and the child is not yours.

Let her deal with all the fallout. Call her friend that wants to have sex and have sex with her, and then anyone that’s a friend of hers. And if the other guy has a girlfriend or wife, you be intimate with them also. Best for your healing in the long term op is remove yourself from all of their lives and take what is owed to you financially.

Stinkytheferret said:

Omg! I’m so sorry to hear this! NTAH. And I think you should leave! And maybe even sue! This is nuts and sad. And pathetic. I’m really sorry. I’d be sure to tell everyone. Get a great lawyer and take everything. Honestly. This is one of the more hurtful things I’ve ever heard. Both of them are aholes! I think id even call the news. She’s ridiculous!

Later, OP provided more information:

I think I messed up posting this but just to clear things up. IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE I LEFT. So for those that are worried I'm not going to do anything stupid or reckless. Thank you for being concerned though.

The kid broke my heart more than she did. At least that's how it feels today. Like I said I expected her to break my heart, but him keeping it from me this entire time. That is what got to me, I don't think I'm capable of ever trusting anyrhing a person says anymore at all.

Life hasn't been easy since then I obviously quit my job when it happened. Been arrested twice for public intoxication. I'm living in my car doing Doordash, instacart. I'm doing so bad financially it's not even funny I want to get a hotel room soon.

For those of you worried about the kid. He seems to be doing fine from Facebook. I dont believe she got into a relationship with the bio dad but the kid has been spending a lot of time with him. I'm lost to be honest.