"AITA for accidentally locking my husband out?"
My (30s) husband (40s) was on a trip over the weekend. I was home with the kids (3 and 1). He was suppose to get home at 11pm but his flight got delayed for a couple hours so he didn’t get home until after 1am. Out of habit, I locked the garage door inside the house, like I do every night, and he was locked out when he got home.
He knocked on the door and I let him in one minute later (at most). First thing he said to me was “did you do it on purpose?” Clearly not because now everyone is awake at 1am . He said that was the lowest he felt in a long time. He doesn’t know when or if he will over get over it and I don’t care he is upset. I’m not understanding, it was an accident. There was no ill intent, he knocked once and I opened the door. AITA?
Adding: it was a boys trip from Thursday to Monday. He does work hard but this was a fun vacation. He was stressed about the work day he was going to have on Tuesday.
He is still mad about it as of Wednesday afternoon.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
wuhkay wrote:
NTA. Mistakes happen and that reaction feels like emotional manipulation.
OP responded:
He knows I hate the kids being woken up because I am the one who puts them back to sleep. Why would I want to manipulate him when it was going to be more work for me?
jbugs_grammy2013 responded:
They were saying his reaction was manipulation.
swillshop wrote:
NTA. Tell your husband:
“I get that you were tired and just wanted to be home and it felt like a gut punch to realize you were locked out. If I didn’t apologize clearly enough, let me say it one more time."
"I am sorry that I forgot to leave the garage door unlocked and you came home from a long, tiring day to a locked house. Now. I want to ask you if you really believe it is more likely that I intentionally locked you out than it is that I accidentally locked you out."
"If you believe that, then you also believe that I am intentionally lying to you when I tell you I locked the door out of habit, on accident, not on purpose. If you were upset in the moment and know that I wouldn’t do those things, I’m okay with moving on. If you do believe that of me, then we need to find a marriage counselor.”
bobbiegee65 wrote:
I am very suspicious of your husband, because this is so ridiculous I wonder if he's trying to distract you from something else. Is there anything else weird around his trip, or his return? He might be totally innocent but be careful anyway.
Forgot the NTA.
TheWacoFogey wrote:
NTA. I have locked my wife out on occasion because I have a habit of locking doors, and it drives her nuts, but she knows it's not personal. (My dad drilled that into our heads and she knows it.) I apologize, she gripes (legit), and we move on. She doesn't sulk about her feelings over it. You apologized. That should be sufficient.
der_lodije wrote:
NTA. I feel there’s more to the story, why would he jump to accusation? Perhaps you guys have something else going on that this exacerbated?
Also, why doesn’t he have keys to his own house? Is he not a functioning adult? That said, with the info given, NTA.
radiant-zucchini526 wrote:
WTF is wrong with your husband? He leaves for a trip, comes home at 1am and apparently doesn't have keys to his own home and he's upset that the door wasn't unlocked? While his wife and small children were inside sleeping? What kind of guy is he where he wants doors left unlocked like this?
When my kids were small I always locked the doors at night, especially when my husband was away.
NTA.
love_fashioned wrote:
NTA - of course. I dislike when people on this forum jump to "he cheating" but his extreme over-reaction to your completely innocent mistake/inconvenience is a red flag. My guess is he's feeling guilty for being away or guilty for something that happened on his trip.
"He doesn't know when he will get over it"?
Stop trying to figure it out. He's an AH and there is nothing you can do to help him "get over it".
julesthemad wrote:
Call me paranoid but this is sus af Maybe he is feeling terrible for something he did during the trip. Anyway, even if he did nothing, does he care more about being locked out than the safety of a wife and 3 kids? He is TA.
adepte wrote:
I may be spending too much time on Reddit but this feels like projection. I wonder what happened on the boys trip.
ETA: my husband would never get angry with me for doing something that kept his babies (and me) safe, regardless of the inconvenience to him.
makethatnoise wrote:
"He said that was the lowest he felt in a long time."
What a blessing to have the worst you have felt in a long time be something as trivial as accidentally having a door get locked on you in the middle of the night.
Most people would love to have that be their biggest problem right now. NTA, but your husband sure is.