'AITA for asking our babysitter to set alarms when she sleeps? My wife disagrees with me.'

You get what you pay for, and with childcare, that can really matter.

"AITA for asking our babysitter to set alarms when she sleeps?"

My wife and I(34) have three children ages 7, 4 a 9 month old. I work a demanding job(in the medical field) and work many many hours, my wife not so much but she does have night shifts often. We just got a new babysitter a few months ago after our one we had for 2 years moved for college. Our new babysitter is only 16, but she had been babysitting one of my coworkers children for awhile and I trust him.

A few nights ago my wife and I were both working nights and I saw on the camera that our babysitter was asleep on the couch and the baby had woken up was crying for almost 30 minutes while she slept.

That bothered me, so without talking to my wife when I got home in the morning I had told my babysitter maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she’s awake since the baby monitor didn’t wake her and that it was not okay for her to leave the baby crying like that.

I guess it hurt the kid's feelings, because she mentioned it to my wife and my wife is really upset with me because “she’s only 16” and what I was asking is unreasonable and that this has never happened before so again I’m being unreasonable and that I should’ve talked to her first because this could’ve been a “learning experience.”

She also said I was completely out of line as well. I’m really not worried about a learning experience but am worried about the fact if my children are cared for properly. AITA?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Top-Ad-2676 wrote:

I am curious why anyone thought a 16-year-old would fit the bill of a night nanny? It amazes me that people with money always cheap out when it comes to paying for their children's sitters and nannies. You and your wife are both the assholes in this scenario. YTA.

MsFear wrote:

YTA. If you want someone awake all night then you need to hire an adult! This child you hired needs to sleep at night so she can go to school and learn during the day. How can you someone in the medical field not understand how important sleep is to a growing body and brain?!

SnooBunnies7461 wrote:

YTA. You have a 16 yr old who I'm assuming is also a high school student watching 3 children overnight. She fell asleep (which was to be expected) and the baby monitor didn't wake her up.

The correct answer would be that you need a new baby monitor that will wake her up not for her to set an alarm that goes off every so often all night. If that's no acceptable to you then its time to hire an overnight nanny who is an adult instead of hiring a child to watch children.

Impossible_Rain_4727 wrote:

YTA: Don't hire a child and expect them to behave like a professional night nanny. You get what you pay for.

franksbeans82 wrote:

I think your alarm suggestion was quite stupid. Is she supposed to set an alarm every 15 minutes or something? If the monitor has a proper loudness, then you just need to find someone better to watch the kids. If the monitor isn't loud, get a better one.

msfinch87 wrote:

YTA. It is totally unreasonable to expect a 16 year old who is also at school in her final years to act as a professional night nanny. You are expecting that child to compromise her schooling and welfare.

If you want someone who will attend to the children fully overnight you need to hire someone whose formal job it is to do that and pay them accordingly. What you should have done is realised that it is not possible or appropriate for a 16 year old to handle an overnight babysitting job on your terms.

While you perhaps could still have offered her more short term jobs like an evening or afternoon, you should have found someone else for a full night shift. Also, adult parents also sleep through their children crying when they are exhausted. It’s not neglectful; it’s called being human.

Pale_Expert wrote:

I can’t imagine leaving 3 children under the age of ten (one is an infant) with a 16-year-old alone in a house overnight. Babysitting a few hours a day is one thing. But overnight all alone? What if God forbid something happens when she’s asleep?

It seems super irresponsible just to get cheap babysitting. And yes $20/hour for 3 kids is cheap. I pay that for 2 kids during the day and my kids are elementary school age, not infants.

dragonsandvamps wrote:

YTA. You are exploiting this underage child. You have an underage 16 year old child you are exploiting working babysitting overnights for three children including an infant. If you want someone to be awake all night with an infant, you need to be paying a professional night nanny who is an ADULT and compensated appropriately.

This child needs to rest properly so she can be in school the following day and as a medical professional, you should understand that.

Jenos00 wrote:

YTA for demanding that an underpaid child stay awake all night. Hire an adult and pay a proper wage. The listed average in Memphis is $20.43 an hour for a single infant. You'd need to add $17 an hour for the other two minimum to be paying competitively.