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'AITA for being disrespectful and telling my parents 'good luck' when they tried to ground me?'

'AITA for being disrespectful and telling my parents 'good luck' when they tried to ground me?'

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Standing up to your parents as a young adult can create some major tensions, to say the least.

"AITA for 'being disrespectful' and telling my parents 'good luck with that' when they tried to ground me?"

I live at home while going to university. I'm in my final year and I have a job lined up after I graduate. My parents have been charging me rent since I was 16. I have a small company that makes me about $60,000 a year. I started it in high school. It is one of the reasons I graduated early from high school and why I got attention from recruiters.

My parents said that since I was earning adult money I could take in adult responsibilities. I thought that was fair. So I paid for all my own stuff starting at age 16. Not university. I got a scholarship. And the rent they charged me was minor. $300 a month. But I basically considered my room to be completely mine after that. I kept it tidy because I like it that way.

But they had no say in when I cleaned it. When I did my laundry, other than to not do it at a time when I would disturb the family for example 3 AM. I bought food for myself and I ate when I wanted. They tried to say I was separating myself from the family but I saw it more as having my own schedule. This year for spring break I went down to Mexico with friends.

My parents were upset because they were hosting a big Easter family get together. When I got back they said I was behaving badly by not being around for a family gathering. I said it was my last spring break in university and that I was not responsible for their schedule. They said I was grounded and I laughed and said good luck with that. I went to my room and locked the door.

They tried banging on it for my attention but I'm done. My grandfather came over to talk to me later. He is the one ho helped me get my company started and he is always there for me. He said that I was rude to my parents when they were trying to be there for me. I asked him how much rent he charged my mom when she lived at home. He said it was ridiculous to think he would charge his kids rent.

I told him that I had been paying rent for four years. He went into the house and I herd a fight. When he came out he said that I need to treat my parents with more respect but that since they are my landlords they do not have a say over how I spend my time. I'm avoiding my parents for now and I'm renting on Airbnb right now until I graduate.

I took everything that was important to me and I left $600 for the last two months I had planned on being there. They keep calling me but I am currently getting ready to move for my new job. I don't have the energy to deal with them.

The internet had a lot of thoughts about the dynamic.

HUNGWHITEBOI25 wrote:

They tried to ground a grown adult…who pays their own bills and works full time…?

Yeah youre NTA not by a long shot but…why dont’s you just move out? Legit don’t see a reason for you to stay there.

OP responded:

Rent was cheap.

Alix_Senters wrote:

NTA. You pay rent and support yourself financially - at that point, you're essentially a tenant with the right to come and go as you please. It's bizarre that they're trying to ground an adult who contributes to the household, not as a dependent child, but as a contributing adult.

It seems like your parents are having trouble transitioning from their roles as parental figures with a level of control to landlords who must respect your autonomy. Going away for spring break was well within your rights, especially as you weren't informed about their Easter plans. If family traditions are that important, communication needs to go both ways.

An apology for laughing might be in order simply because it's always nice to be kind, but setting boundaries is crucial here. It might help to have a discussion about expectations on both sides to clear up this tenant vs. child confusion. Good luck navigating this; it's a tricky path when family and tenant relationships are intertwined.

Durtibrizzle wrote:

NTA, obviously. What’s the business?

OP responded:

It started out as a drop shipping thing but turned into an import business with Chinese suppliers.

IAmIrene wrote:

NTA. They charge you a small rent to ease you into adulthood and you fully embrace it and take on paying for everything for yourself and now they're upset that you're actually being independent?

O_O

When a tenant pays rent, that space is effectively theirs. The landlord can't legally enter the rental space without 24 hours notice (USA). They want to treat you like a tenant but don't want to act like a landlord.

Also, assuming you are a legal adult, they grounded you? LOLOLOLOLOL!!! Good luck indeed. Best wishes on your bright and shiny future! And I hope you can, at some point, forgive your parents, they know not what they do.

NuanceEnthusiast wrote:

NTA. I know people don’t like other people talking about their family, but, respectfully, your parents are idiots at best and selfish assholes at worst. They want you to line their pockets for living in the house they forced you to live in? And after you agree (because what the hell else are you supposed to do), they still want to maintain control over your life??

They should be nurturing your success and encouraging you to pour every dime back into the company. Instead they decided to leech off of you after bringing you into the world without your permission.

Unless they really needed your $300 a month to make ends meet (and even then they should be trying to repay you at some point), I would tell them they revoked their parental dominance over your life the second they demanded you pay to live at home. Deeply selfish behavior. I’m so sorry for you OP.

OP is definitely NTA here, it seems like it might be time to move out.

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