'AITA for being mad at my husband for not giving our daughter the same gift he gave our sons?'
"AITA for being mad at my husband for not giving our daughter the same/similar gift he gave our sons?"
My husband and I have three children together; two boys and a girl. Our sons are 20 and 18 and our daughter is 16. Like many others, my husband and I have been working for home which has given us a chance to all be together as a family. My husband is usually away a lot for work so we've never had the much time being all together.
This past year has brought our family together more than anything else could. The other day my husband sat down with our sons and started telling them a story about him growing up and spending time with family. He said he heard something in a song that he thought was a good idea.
He gifted them both pretty expensive watches saying to not think of the monetary value but to remind them to spend time where it matters. Money isn't a big issue for us but this has a price tag that'd I'd like to know in advance. Later that day our daughter came to me and said she was upset that he did that for them but nothing for her, he didn't even call her just to listen to him.
I thought the same so I went to talk to my husband. I asked him why he didn't have anything for her. He said she's too young and it was just something for the boys but when I asked if he would do something similar for her when she was older, he said he probably wouldn't stating that it wouldn't hold the same value anymore.
I got mad when he said that. I feel like it was pretty disrespectful to say that he would do something for the boys and not our daughter. I told him that he should go apologize her for leaving her out but he refused. I didn't let him slide on the matter and brought it up again later and he told me to leave it alone.
We got into an argument about it and I told him that I felt he was being a bit misogynistic and didn't really have a good reason for not doing anything for her or even letting her sit in on the conversation. AITA for being so mad about it?
What do you think? Here's what some of the top commenters on the post had to say:
MonkeyWrench said:
NTA. You ought to point out to your husband that from this point forward your daughter may no longer see the value in the time they spend together, considering he thinks less of her than her brothers.
Caligusads said:
NTA Yikes. It really says something that his life lesson to your sons was "to spend time where it matters." I guess time spent with his own daughter clearly doesn't matter. Good on you to advocate for your daughter when your husband is clearly being misogynistic towards your daughter. I'm very glad she has you on her side. I hope you're able to do something swell for your daughter, she deserves it.
Caligusads said:
NTA Yikes. It really says something that his life lesson to your sons was "to spend time where it matters." I guess time spent with his own daughter clearly doesn't matter. Good on you to advocate for your daughter when your husband is clearly being misogynistic towards your daughter. I'm very glad she has you on her side. I hope you're able to do something swell for your daughter, she deserves it.
ScubaCC said:
NTA. That’s so incredibly hurtful. He’s going to regret that some day when she distances herself from him to protect her heart from further hurt. Or maybe he only cares about his sons anyway and won’t care. Who knows. Please make a grand gesture for your daughter and make her feel special.
Verdict: NTA.
Edit:
I want to thank everyone for taking the time to reply to my post. You all have said a lot for me to consider. I know some of you have questions but I'm so overwhelmed by all the responses I don't think I'll be replying to any but I will be thinking about all things said. Thank you and feel free to reply with more of your thoughts on the situation.