'AITA for being too affectionate with my husband in front of his family?'
"AITA for being too affectionate with my husband in front of his family?"
I (F29) and my husband (M31) have been married for 7 years and have a 4-year-old son. We tend to be very touchy-feely. We don't do anything inappropriate in public, just hugs, kisses, compliments, and playful banter almost all the time.
Last Saturday, we went to his mother's birthday party, and there were many relatives and friends present. We behaved as we always do with each other, but we also interacted with everyone and participated in the activities.
But at one point, my husband's sister (F27) pulled me aside and told me to stop showing off. She said it was very embarrassing to see my husband and me acting like lovesick teenagers and that it seemed forced. She said no one wanted to see that, and we needed to stop because we were always like that.
I was upset by what she said. I asked if she was jealous or something, but she denied it. She said it was just a matter of common sense. She said I should act like an adult and a mother, not like a needy girlfriend. Those words irritated me, and I distanced myself from her.
I went back to my husband and told him what happened. He was surprised and annoyed with his sister. He was angry and said he would talk to her. But I asked him to let it go because I didn't want to cause a scene at the party. He agreed but said he would talk to her later.
We continued to have fun at the party with our son, but I noticed that some relatives near my SIL were looking at us strangely. We left the party earlier than planned. On the way home, I asked my husband if he thought we were wrong. He said no, that his sister has been bitter since childhood and that I didn't need to worry about her.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
squirlysquirel said:
Honestly...the way you behave at home and in private should absolutely be different to how you behave in public. It sounds like you crossed the boundaries of many other people and to the point they would comment. You sound like you are totally oblivious to others feelings. YTA.
spiikespiiegel said:
In all honestly, PDA makes a lot of people uncomfortable and by constantly kissing & singling each other out for conversations, banter and inside jokes just third wheels everyone else. it’s inconsiderate and cringe. YTA.
Senior_Exchange_6307 said:
YTA, there’s a time and place and you’re around a bunch of family. I feel like you could save all the affection for home or for somewhere more private? And immediately jumping to the conclusion that your SIL is jealous kinda shows your immaturity ngl, people are allowed to critique you and voice their opinions without it being labeled as jealousy.
You most likely made a lot of people uncomfortable and she was the only one brave enough to say it. Knowing how family events go, they probably were talking about you both and your PDA.
silenthashira said:
Based on the info provided NTA. You've been a part of this family for 7 years and suddenly how yall behave around each other is a problem? Now? So long as it's normal shows of affection and nothing actually outa pocket, you're fine. You don't have to walk on eggshells to cater to the specific triggers of other people, doubly so when they've known how yall are for damn near a decade.
If they don't like how yall behave, they can just not invite you. You have a healthy and wonderful relationship and that's not something that comes around every day, so imo f--k anyone that says you can't express your love in normal ways. I get some people find PDA uncomfortable. That's a them problem cuz it's perfectly normal and acceptable behavior.
Wooden_Ad1967 said:
Nta. My wife and I are the same way. Sil sounds lonely and butt hurt. Guessing she is single?
Proper_Strategy_6663 said:
ESH no one wants to see adults acting like lovesick horny teenagers, be clingy elsewhere. She probably acted as a spokesperson since the relatives where complaining and they're tired of it. But that also doesn't mean she should have dragged you off like that.