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'AITA for being upset my husband ruined Mother’s Day?'

'AITA for being upset my husband ruined Mother’s Day?'


"AITA for being upset my husband “ruined” Mother’s Day?"


A couple weeks ago I told my husband I wanted a bird feeder with a camera for Mother’s Day. For context, we CAN afford one. My husband made a comment that it’s a tradition to take our daughter out and get me candy or a teddy or flowers.

I got upset and said, I’m the mother, how is it possible for me to be wrong about what I want for Mother’s Day? We got into a fight and he cried and said he would get me the bird feeder.

It was already pretty much ruined but I looked past it. Last night he comes up to me and says I couldn’t get you the bird feeder I got you other things. I seriously thought it was a joke. Only it wasn’t a joke.

Basically, he got my a candy bar, a balloon, and some flowers. He completely disregarded what I had asked for twice and I know it’s because what he chose to get me is significantly less expensive.

Again, we are NOT struggling financially right now, but he has been obsessed with money because he lost his job. AITA for being upset he completely ignored what I said I wanted and did his own thing anyway? It’s not about the bird feeder, it’s the fact that I was ignored and my wishes disregarded completely that has me feeling so bad about it.

Update: I have talked with him and I think he is genuinely stressing over money. I apologized to him for getting upset and I was going to get the bird feeder myself but he wants to get it for me and doesn’t want me to pay for it myself.

I talked to him about how I felt dismissed and ignored and explained that it isn’t about how expensive the gift is, just being listened to and heard is a big deal. I found one on Amazon for as cheap as 44$.

Also a lot of y’all jump into the comments assuming you know the financial situation when you do not. I am a disabled veteran and so is my husband we both served we both sustained injuries. We receive 6k a month in compensation.

(Me 4K him 2k) We have had to tighten the strings on some things due to him losing his job, but we are nowhere near destitute. And that’s that. Thanks to the men for calling me a b-word and a c-word!

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


Father's Day is coming up. Get him a camera bird feeder. And nothing else.


Buy yourself the camera bird feeder becsuse you are a grown adult who can afford it. Phone in father's day the same way he phoned in mother's day.


My dog buys me the best christmas gifts. Exactly what I would have picked, in my fave color and size. Have your dog buy the bird feeder, wrap it up, thank her profusely “ oh! look what Desi bought me! Exactly what I wanted, who is a good girl!!”


Today is my birthday and my SO of nearly a decade forgot. Once I brought that to his attention, he kind of tried to make it up to me with a hastily ordered cake from Door Dash... Which I had to heavily influence by dropping obvious comments about cakes I'd like to see the contestants try on the cooking competition show we were watching.

From now on, my precious doggies will get me the bestest presents ever! They're even gonna wrap them. Christmas, my birthday, my anniversary, International Women's Day! My pups' future thoughtfulness will be the soothing balm my heart seems to need on every gift-giving occasion. Thank you so much for this.

Edited to add: This might be the most "happy birthday" wishes I've received since I was a kid. Thank you, kind strangers.


NTA you asked for a gift you wanted not the Hallmark card stuff. The fact that he disregarded that to buy overpriced flowers, a plastic balloon and candy is not how someone concerned about money acts. It reeks of "you'll get what I give you and you'll like it".


NTA. Bird feeders aren't expensive, not enough to justify ignoring your wishes. The small cameras used for catching critters are cheap these days. I remember one year my mom wanted a stand mixer (Lord knows why, she never used it and now I have it).

My brother, sister and I put out heads and money together and made it happen and three of us just out of high school weren't making 6k a month between us. She was our mother and she wasn't asking for the world.

My mother-in-law has asked for 10 bags of soil for gardening and for help with yard work, pool maintenance and pizza. Those bags are sitting in my trunk since last night and we're heading out in an hour.

She didn't ask for the world, and it's important for my husband, so it's important to me. This was much less about cost and way more about your husband not wanting to put any more effort that a card, flowers and chocolate.

Twice you told him what you wanted. But it wasn't what he wanted to do (which was make one trip to the grocery store at the last second, and do the bare minimum). You were not worth the effort to him. Buy yourself the feeder and camera and thank him for being a lazy, careless jerk.


He’s lost his job, I reckon maybe he’s more worried about money than you might think.


You should’ve just bought the bird feeder yourself and let your daughter feel like she was part of making the day special for you.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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