'AITA for breaking up with my BF for being insecure about my weight loss?'
"AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend for losing weight?"
Me (21F) and my bf (24M) have been dating for 3 years. When I met my boyfriend he was going through his weight loss journey himself and while it was really impressive he was bigger than me when we met. I was weighing in at like 195lbs at the time.
During the early stages of our relationship he would always hint to me to lose weight also saying how healthy it is to be a lower weight and that he feels so much better and I would too if I tried to lose weight. I hadn’t mentioned or previously thought about loosing weight at this point and when he would bring it up I told him I didn’t really want to but eventually the constant talk of it from him pushed me to.
I started to lose weight and quite successfully which seemed to aggravate him a little, as in when I dropped a size and wanted to buy some new clothes he said I was being dramatic and could “totally still fit into those clothes”.
This hurt because while I wasn't necessarily doing it for him, I thought he would be happy for me since he wanted me to do this. I think it also annoyed him because his progress slowed down a lot and he also started to gain back weight (I didn’t mind but he did) which further annoyed him.
Now recently, I’m quite a bit skinner than before and I guess that makes me more “conventionally attractive” according to him or whatever bs. I don’t agree, I very much liked the way I looked before and sometimes when I look at myself now I feel a little hollow.
Anyways it’s made him very insecure to the point where he doesn’t like it when I go out without him, in fear I’ll cheat on him or find someone else to fall in love with. Honestly this fear of his was incredibly draining especially when he was the one to push me to lose weight in the first place.
I’m also the type of person to date someone with the intent to marry and if he was this insecure about me potentially cheating on him when I have shown no signs of wanting to then I couldn’t do it so I broke up with him.
I told him I didn’t like how insecure he was being, but he blew up about it and started getting angry saying things like I would never look the way I did now if it weren’t for him and it was normal for a guy to be protective over his girlfriend. That only cemented my decision that this wasn’t going to work out so I left him.
However my friends are saying that was kinda @$$holey especially when I knew how insecure he was about his own weight. I understood that point, he used to get bullied for his weight but I wasn’t breaking up with him because of his weight but now I’m thinking maybe I could have handled it better.