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'AITA for bringing my child to my sister's child-free wedding when the sitter cancelled?'

'AITA for bringing my child to my sister's child-free wedding when the sitter cancelled?'


"AITA for bringing my child to my sister's wedding?"

I (33F) have a son Alfie (9M). My sister Erinn (26F) just got married. On the invitations she asked that the wedding remain childfree. I don't personally agree with childfree weddings but I respect Erinn's choice and I arranged for my friend to come up and watch Alfie for the day.

The day of the wedding my friend called me and told me she was really sorry but wasn't feeling well and didn't think she would be up to watching Alfie. I really do appreciate her being mindful of that (especially as she ended up finding out it's Covid). But it left me in an inconvenient place because that was the only option I had even thought to line up and I had to leave at noon (friend called at 6:30).

I really didn't know what else to do so I ended up taking Alfie with me. It was a big wedding so I didn't end up talking to Erinn until the reception, which is good because she was pissed at me. She reminded me again that this wedding was not for kids, and for good reason seeing as me and my parents were "too focused on Alfie"

He's a 9yo boy at a grown-up wedding he didn't know he was going to, I hardly think it's reasonable for us to not acknowledge him and how well he's doing. I said my sitter fell through and Erinn's husband said "that's not our problem."

She was just not going to drop this regardless of what explanation I gave, so my mom ended up taking Alfie home with her while dad stayed at wedding. At that point the mood had been ruined and I was honestly just over it all so I just left.

Erinn is still claiming I owe her an apology, I'm not sure what for as it's not like I maliciously foisted Alfie on her. If she can't be civil to and about a little boy I think that says far more about her. And she has a 4mo daughter and she was there, so it wasn't even childfree on Erinn's part either. I just want to know if I am really an AH here.

What do you think? AITA? Here's what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

YTA - and how come your mom took Alfie home, and you stayed? Damn, I’d be mad too if my mom left to babysit YOUR child on my wedding day.

Independent-Rule-351 said:

YTA - Your mom ended leaving her own daughter’s wedding just to babysit your kid. Honestly selfish of you. Because for me, that would be the one person I would want at my wedding the most.

xmrschaoticx said:

YTA, it said child free. If you can’t get a sitter then you respect the couples wishes and don’t go. And just send them a note hey sorry I couldn’t go, sitter fell through and I didn’t want to be disrespectful

AggravatingPatient18 said:

You should have texted your sister and parents the moment you found out you had no sitter. That way a last minute local (to the wedding) arrangement may have been made, or your sister would have understood why you weren't there. YTA and apologise, you took the worst option and didn't even communicate.

KenboSlice189 said:

YTA you didnt even let her know how can you think youre not in the wrong?

Orchestraofwolves92 said:

YTA and I can’t believe you let your mother leave just to babysit for you. Of course her own daughter was there, that’s her baby, she didn’t want anyone else’s children there as is her right at her wedding. When someone says an event is childfree it’s not just a suggestion.

And 7thatsanope said:

YTA. The wedding was child-free. That means no kids. The bride and groom making an exception for their own infant absolutely does not count as the wedding not actually being child-free. "Erinn’s husband said 'that’s not our problem.'"

He is right. Your sitter problem is not their problem. And does not give you the right to bring someone who was explicitly not invited to their wedding. It is unfortunate that your sitter got sick, but that doesn’t change the fact that your kid wasn’t allowed at the wedding.

It seems pretty clear that Alfie was having some behavioral issues if it was noticeable to the bride and groom that not only you but also both of your parents were “too focused” on him and the clause that “he’s a 9 year old boy at a grown-up wedding he didn’t know he was going to.”

His behavior may not have been terrible, but he obviously at the least certainly didn’t blend into the crowd. "Erinn is still claiming I owe her an apology" Because you do.

Verdict: YTA. Do you agree?

Sources: Reddit
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