My sister isn't a child, she's 30. The thing is that she hasn't had the most conventional adulthood. She spent most of her late teens and early twenties in and out of one rehab or another, she didn't go to college, lives alone and I don't think she has that much of a social life. She lives out of town so we don't see her much.
My wife isn't a heavy person by any means, but like many, many people, she isn't quite as thin as she was when we first married, pre child and all that. Totally normal and obviously I couldn't care less. My sister came over with my mom to visit several months ago which was her first time seeing my wife and I in years.
She came into town again more recently and we met her at my parents house. She saw my wife and said "oh I thought you were pregnant." Implying that my wife looked pregnant last she saw her but clearly isn't as she would be showing more now. My wife is a very emotionally mature person and didn't make a thing of it and neither did I.
I thought maybe my sister, perhaps being less exposed to societal norms than some, didn't know that you don't say that, ever. So I sent her a text later on telling her that I know she didn't have bad intentions but that it's generally quite rude to comment that someone looks pregnant and really shouldn't be said, basically ever. She got all bent out of shape, saying I was a jerk for "guilting" her and that I should "grow up" and "stop taking everything so seriously." AITA?
marilynmansonfckme said:
NTA. That was a rude comment for your sister to make, and you didn’t scream at her about it or anything. You assumed the best intentions and were polite, and she immediately got mad and insulted you.
LeamhAish said:
NTA. You are right. She is...a mess.
Malitae said:
NTA - I have friends who have had major substance abuse and been institutionalized the majority of their life, they still don't behave the way described. She was out of line, and worse yet, can't take feedback like an adult.
Beneficial_Mix_8803 said:
NTA... Even if she didn't know it was rude before, she does now, and her response was that it was your problem. Your sister sounds pretty obnoxious.
theborgblog said:
NTA, but you may have your expectations set too high for your sister's behavior. If it didn't bother your wife (and/or if she's letting it roll of her back) then follow her lead and let it go for now.
many_hobbies_gal said:
NTA, her comment was beyond rude and you handled it privately instead of getting in her face in front of everyone. Maybe she needs to think on that. Next time and there will be a next time I would ensure she is called out in front of people and embarrassed. But that's what I would do.
BluesClues9363 said:
NTA. Your sister needs a crash course in tactfulness. I mean, seriously, who walks into a room and blurts out, "Hey, you look pregnant!"? It's like she missed the memo on basic social etiquette.
And then she has the audacity to play the victim when called out on it? Classic. Your wife handled it like a champ, but your sister needs to learn that not everything that pops into her head needs to come out of her mouth. Keep standing up for common decency, even if she thinks it's "taking things too seriously."