'AITA for calling off my wedding?' 'My fiancé wanted to invite her ex.'

"AITA for calling off my wedding because my fiancé wanted to invite her ex?"

My fiancée wanted to invite an ex to our wedding. From what I know, he was a d who always put her down and told her that he was the best she could ever do. Naturally, I asked her why the hell does she want him at our wedding.

She said she wanted to shove it in his face that she did amazingly for her self, and she got someone way better. While I appreciated the compliment, I asked her: Are you really so hung up on him that you're gonna make our wedding about him?

Honestly, once I said it, it was like someone else told me. I didn't even realize what I was saying, and I didn't even understand it until I said it. I told her that she shouldn't bother to invite him because we weren't getting married anymore.

She was stunned, and eventually apologized and told me to forget about her ex. I felt angry and almost told her she's the one who needs to forget about him. Idk, she spent the day telling me that she's sorry for bringing it up. I'll be honest, I'm even reconsidering the entire relationship now.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Alice-Shea said:

NTA for calling off the wedding, if her fixation on her ex raised serious doubts about the relationship. The fact that she wanted to invite him to “shove it in his face” shows that she’s still emotionally tied to proving something to him!

Bold_Aria said:

It's your wedding, and you have every right to say who's there. It's a little weird that she's so focused on her ex, and it's totally valid that you're feeling iffy about the whole thing. Trust your gut. If you're having doubts this big before the wedding, it might be a sign to take a step back and think about what you really want.

Eastern_Condition863 said:

NTA. It seems like she's only getting married to stick it to her ex. Not mature enough for marriage imo. Anyone still hung up on Revenge Of The Ex's shouldn't be getting married.

Recent-Lion-8614 said:

NTA. You are very much justified to want to reflect as the wedding is no longer about the you and her. It seems like she want to prove a point that she did better. I think you have to open up a line of communication.

Rikkendra said:

NTA. It's very unfortunate that your fiancée wanted to do this. It raises the question if she is marrying you for you, or if she is marrying you to spite her former abuser. I feel that she loves you very much, but she is definitely still hurting from her previous relationship.

She may need to get some therapy to resolve the lingering pain she feels. I really hope that the two of you can work things out because I don't truly believe that she was being malicious towards you.

TreyBouchet said:

NTA. Any idea if she stalks his socials, checks up on him with friends, etc? I think you are wise to delay the wedding, pull back for a bit. Your feelings about the wedding becoming about proving something to the ex is spot on, would make me super uncomfortable, and I’d need to be positive that she is over this guy. Sadly it does not sound like she is.

Otherwise_Degree_729 said:

NTA. She has a lot of work to do if her fist thought about her wedding is inviting her ex. She needs therapy. What if the ex didn’t want children? Is she going to invite him into delivery room for your first born? She needs therapy and she needs to move on.

Top-Sell4574 said:

NTA. The fact she felt she needed to make him jealous on your wedding day says it all.