'AITA for ruining my sister's birthday after she told a traumatizing story about me?'
"AITA for ruining my sister's birthday after she told a traumatizing story about me?"
My F30 sister “Kim” F33 had her birthday dinner 2 nights ago. There were about 12 people in attendance. Kim and I aren’t close. She was the golden child and I was the scapegoat. Kim was always very cruel to me and got away with it because my mom never held her accountable.
Kim had one too many drinks at dinner and began telling an incredibly traumatizing story from my childhood. Kim constantly tells this story as if it’s goofy and lighthearted. The trauma from this situation impacts my daily life.
When I was 9 and Kim was 12, we were at my neighbor “Nate’s” house, who was 13. Nate had an old storage trunk in his room. Kim convinced me to get in the trunk. The trunk had a built in lock that didn’t work. Once I was inside, they closed the lid, and somehow, the lock on the trunk suddenly worked again.
They tried for several minutes to get it open. At first, I thought they were just messing with me, and pretending they couldn’t open it. Once I realized they weren’t joking, I began to panic. Nate refused to get his parents because he didn’t want to get in trouble. He then began making jokes to scare me like “let’s throw the trunk down the stairs to see if that opens it” and “let’s set it on fire and burn her out!”
After an hour of being trapped in there, he said “I’m not getting in trouble for this, I’m going to watch TV.” He and Kim left the room to go watch TV while I cried and panicked. They came back an hour later and tried opening the trunk again. My legs had gone numb and my whole body was aching. I had been crying for hours and told them I felt like I was running out of air.
They discussed how they could get me out without getting trouble. Finally, after almost 3 hours of being stuck in there, he finally got his parents. His dad came running in with a crowbar and pried the lid open. His parents apologized to me profusely and grounded Nate. My parents did nothing to discipline Kim and told me I was being dramatic.
That experience traumatized me, and to this day, I am severely claustrophobic. I can’t even cuddle my fiancé because it’s too constricting. Kim began telling the trunk story for the thousandth time, laughing throughout as if it was an amusing childhood story.
Without raising my voice, I cut her off and said “that’s not a funny story, Kim. You’re always telling this story like it’s a cute tale from our youth. That was traumatizing. I have regular nightmares and flashbacks from that day. To this day, I have extreme claustrophobia. I could have died from suffocation. It’s not like I was in there for 10 minutes; I was in there for almost 3 hours.”
Everyone got really quiet, and just kind of awkwardly stared at their food. We sat in silence for the rest of the meal. It definitely killed the vibe. Kim and my mom sent me angry texts saying that I owed Kim an apology for making a scene and ruining her birthday. Every time she tells that story, it’s like I’m in the trunk again. All the trauma comes flooding back. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
zeeelfprince said:
Why are you even in contact with ANY of them? They all can suck dirty smelly diapers from what it sounds like. NTA, but no contact would be a valid response to all of this bullsh*t imo. Actually, no contact would have been warranted years ago, tbh.
jrm1102 said:
NTA - tho why do you continue to interact with them if this keeps happening.
roblowescobar said:
NTA but you need some boundaries. If this has happened a thousand times and you keep coming back for more of it, at a certain point you kind of become a professional victim. From now on when they want to drag you into another unpleasant social interaction, tell them you’re busy and go live your life.
Mother_Shopping_8607 said:
NTA, and I think you should do this every. single. time. that she tries to whip out this story from now on.
alien_overlord_1001 said:
NTA. You owe Kim nothing. What a total AH she is, and always has been apparently.
WatermelonRindPickle said:
NTA. if you are around her in the future, huge if, and she starts to tell that story again, say what really happened. Over and over again.
Feisty-sahm said:
NTA and it’s time you stood up to Kim and your mom. They are both bullying you and they continue to do it. She doesn’t mind embarrassing you repeatedly it’s time she got a taste of her own medicine. Don’t apologize, drill it home. Hopefully confronting your bully will give you some relief.
Fickle_Toe1724 said:
NTA. If she ever starts telling that story in your presence again, cut her off and tell your side of it. Every time. Make sure your niece knows you are a safe person to go to. You want her to be able to come to you when mom and grandma get mean to her. Thank you for looking out for your niece.