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'AITA for charging my adult children rent? My daughter got really upset at the suggestion.'

'AITA for charging my adult children rent? My daughter got really upset at the suggestion.'

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"AITA for charging my adult children rent?"

I 49F have 2 adult children who both still live at home, Emma 25F and Ian 23M. Their father and I divorced 12 years ago so it’s been the 3 of us for a while now. I had received child support until they turned 18. Their father had paid it willingly so it wasn’t arranged through the courts. This is why he stopped at 18 even though they were both technically still in school.

Fast forward to present day. They both work full time, don’t have any debt from school, and both still live at home. I have asked them repeatedly to contribute a set amount each month towards household expenses since I can’t continue supporting them forever.

Ian doesn’t have a problem with this, but Emma thinks it’s my responsibility as her mother to support her financially until she’s ready to move out. I’m not asking them for much or trying to profit from them, I just want to be able to save for my retirement and be able to retire. I’d be happy with $100 each a week to cover their share of groceries, utilities, and household supplies.

I buy all the groceries, laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc for the house. They are responsible for their cars and related expenses, cell phones, and personal toiletries. Some of my daughter’s friends live at home for free, but those friends also live in a home with both parents working.

My daughter has actually said she will quit her job and go on social assistance just so she can’t afford to pay me rent.

So internet strangers, AITA for asking my adult children to pay rent to live at home?

People did not hold back their opinions one bit.

houseonpost wrote:

NTA: If they were going to school I wouldn't charge rent. But given they are working there should be a nominal rent. $400 for rent and groceries etc is very reasonable. I'd be more assertive and tell, not ask. Sounds like Ian will pay which will make it seem easier to get Emma to pay. I'd change the password on the internet and give it only to people who pay their rent. Time to unfeather the nest.

KatyClaws wrote:

NTA, 23 and 25 is plenty old to be paying rent - especially if they don’t have loans to pay off. Plus, I would imagine that what you plan to charge them is well below market rate. I’m 27 and have been living independently since I was 18 in one of the most expensive regions of the US, and I am by no means a high earner.

My brother was kicked out of our parents house when he was 22 and also manages to survive in a relatively expensive area on very limited income. Your kids are very lucky to have a parent who has supported them completely up to this point and should be willing to contribute to the household they live in.

Paying into collective expenses now will help them understand what life really costs and prepare them for (hopefully) living on their own in the future.

Thecapitalpointehole wrote:

NTA. I would say it is time to tell your daughter if she can't pay you rent/shared expenses money, then it is time for her to move out. Maybe she needs to learn how living on her own costs to appreciate what you have been providing or what a great deal $100/week is. She is an adult. You shouldn't be subsidizing her to your detriment.

StAlvis wrote:

NTA. "Emma thinks it’s my responsibility as her mother to support her financially until she’s ready to move out."
Emma has some wild ideas.

"My daughter has actually said she will quit her job and go on social assistance just so she can’t afford to pay me rent."

You know, what? F--k the $100 a week. Kick her ungrateful a-s out, yesterday. She thinks this is a f--king game. Show her exactly how true that is.

Dangerous_Deer488 wrote:

"My daughter has actually said she will quit her job and go on social assistance just so she can’t afford to pay me rent."

Wow it's like the adult equivalent of "making me do chores is against child labor law!" That's really gross and manipulative coming from an adult.

It sounds like she really does need to move out to understand how expensive it is to exist. I would give her a set amount of time to decide if she's paying rent or moving. You aren't kicking her out, she has options! If and when she gives notice that she will move, give her a set amount of time to find a place.

Swisher07 wrote:

NTA. Wow, your daughter seems entitled. I still live with my single-parent mom because I live in an expensive part of Florida and I willingly pay “rent”. My mom doesn’t charge me any where near market rate, just enough to help cover the bills.

Honestly, with out each other neither of us could afford to live in the home we do. At 25 your daughter should be learning some money management. Her saying that she will quit her job and go on assistance is extremely childish and selfish.

zoreb1 wrote:

NTA. When I moved back home (job transfer in 87) I was charged a minimal rent (maybe $200/mo). They said that it would go up after a year but once I got adjusted to my new job I started looking for a place and eventually found a condo (housing prices were higher at that time - but not like today) in like a year and a half so it never went up.

If your daughter threatens to quit her job pack up her stuff when she's at work, change the locks, and tell her to live with a friend. Never put up with threats. If she want to live with you then have a written rental agreement ready for her to sign before letting her back in (and get first month payment up front). If she wants to play games you can, too.

Darwynnia wrote:

NTA. You supported her into adulthood and beyond. She's 25. She's got a job, no school debt - and it's time she left the nest.

Inform her she has 90 days to find a new place to live, or you will begin eviction proceedings.

Otherwise, she can SIGN A CONTRACT stating she will pay you rent, or you will begin eviction proceedings.

No one gets a free ride until 'they're ready to move out'

Sources: Reddit
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