Longtime high school couple breaks up after man’s ultimatum over dog woman chooses loyal companion. AITA?
"AITA for choosing my dog over my boyfriend?"
Office_lady0328
My, now ex-boyfriend, and I were together since high school. Last winter, my boyfriend agreed to let me get a puppy. I instantly fell in love with the dog, and he's honestly my soul dog.
My ex however, realized he's not a dog person. The dog grosses him out. He hates the shedding and the drool, the dirty paws etc. He didn't want him on the couch or bed.
He would get mad and yell at him for normal dog things, like if he chewed up one of his squeaky toys, or accidentally knocked a drink over on the coffee table while doing zoomies.
We were constantly walking on eggshells around him because if my dog misbehaved even a tiny bit, he would get mad. He perceived my dog as extremely poorly trained, even though he was not. The dog comes with me everywhere, we go hiking every day, and we compete in several dog sports. I will admit, I love my dog more than I ever loved my boyfriend.
For context, we never had a very loving or affectionate relationship before, my ex always ignored me, so I essentially gave all that love to my dog instead. I was also always extremely co-dependant in the relationship. Having the dog helped me branch out, find new friends and hobbies and became more independent.
My ex became extremely jealous of the dog and angry that I was becoming more independent, and insited I have to get rid of the dog. He made up the excuses that he costs too much money (I pay EVERY SINGLE expense), that the dog is horribly trained (he's not), etc. He even tried to get me to euthanize him every time we went to the vet.
One day he asked me if I loved the dog more than him and would choose my dog over him, and I said yes. There was A LOT more to why we broke up, but the biggest reason was the dog.
Now he's been telling all our friends and family that I'm a horrible person for choosing a "stupid dog" over him. Everyone is divided. I don't care, my dog and I are living our best life.
My dog behaves so much better when he's not around, because we are both so much less stressed. And he cuddles on the bed with me now every night<3 But anyways, asking here because I'm curious of the general public's opinion; AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Normal_Lifeguard7590
Seems he was in your life to gift you a companion who was ready to be loved by and love you. The more independence you got the worse he got, the trash always takes itself out So happy for you both ✨ NTA.
yensid7
NTA, except that you seem to be putting some blame on the dog here instead of the fact that he was a controlling asshole. The dog just helped you see him for who he truly is.
Office_lady0328 (OP)
Oh, I don't blame the dog at all. I'm thankful he helped me become more independent, and helped realize how abusive my ex was. There were a lot of things that made me want to leave over the years, but I didn't have the courage to do it.
I only got the willpower to leave him when I realized that his yelling at the dog would turn to hitting eventually, and I left for the wellbeing and safety of my dog. I mostly blame myself for putting my dog through that, and not leaving sooner. We were both constantly stressed. I feel bad for subjecting him to that. Never again, I know what to look out for now.
ellen_xox
it’s important to make decisions that align with your values and lead to a healthier, happier life. Your choice to prioritize your dog and your own mental well-being seems both understandable and justified given the circumstances.
sky_strawberry
idk, i’d like to hear the bf’s side of the story. dogs ARE dirty and gross, i’m sure his feelings of frustration weren’t coming out of nowhere. but sounds like y’all are fundamentally incompatible anyways; you should be with someone who loves dogs and he can find someone with no pets 🤣
Just-Contribution418
NTA - this dog is your soul dog, and was most likely placed in your life at just the right moment to help you avoid an abusive relationship with your ex boyfriend. I hope you and your dog have more happy times!
Your family that agrees with the ex BF is not suitable to call themselves family. The right dog can certainly be life changing. Maybe if your Ex had taken time to learn from the dog, how to properly treat you, he wouldn’t have been dumped.