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'AITA for cutting my mom out of my life after she couldn't follow my rules for my dog?'

'AITA for cutting my mom out of my life after she couldn't follow my rules for my dog?'


I went no contact with my mom because she couldn't follow my rules about my puppy.

Appropriate-Pie-9824 writes:

I, (28F), have a 4-month-old German Shepherd puppy. For context, our family dog was of the same breed, and we raised him from when he was 2 months old. Unfortunately, he passed two years ago. Last month, I had to go to work in-person out of the blue.

I got very little notice, so I called up my mom and asked her if she could take care of the puppy for me. She agreed and came over; I told her he was unvaccinated and to "be careful." I went to work, and I messaged her every now and then to ask how they were doing, and she responded with a thumbs-up emoji every time.

I came back to an empty house and panicked, thinking something had happened to both of them or there was an emergency, and they had to go to the vet. I called her, and she didn't pick up - her phone was switched off. I went over to my neighbor's and asked them if they knew anything, and they said they had seen my mom taking the puppy out on a leash.

I started walking to the nearby public park, and what do you know, my mom's there with the puppy, and like 2 other dogs. I went over and asked her why she didn't pick up, and she laughed and said her phone was dead because she was too busy with the puppy to charge it.

When we got home, I asked her why she took him outside, that I'd told her not to - she said I never explicitly told her not to take him outside and turned it around on me, "this is how you repay a favor?" and said the puppy looked antsy being all cooped up in the house (I have a substantial backyard).

I left it at that, and the next day took the puppy to the vet. All was clear at the time, but four days later, the puppy started showing symptoms, and turns out he caught parvo. The poor thing went through a lot, but he's been alright for a week now. A couple of days ago, I left him with a sitter to attend the fam's Easter celebration, and to note at this point, I hadn't communicated with my mom since the day of.

My cousin asked me how the puppy was doing, and I told her the whole thing. Word got around, and now people are condemning my mom for her actions, and honestly, I couldn't care less.

Mom called me today and demanded I "make things clear" with other people and that it wasn't her fault my puppy fell sick and could've died. I asked for an apology because even if she didn't mean for it to happen, the puppy did suffer. She declined. I blocked her. AITA?

OP added some context:

I got my puppy at 10 weeks old; he was unvaccinated. I took him to the vet, and at 12 weeks (when my mom came to dogsit), he was due for his second round. He is currently 4 months old and vaccinated.

The reason I thought "he's unvaxxed, be careful" was enough is that our family dog was not allowed in public spaces until he was 4.5 months old and fully vaccinated. Socialization was done in a safe and controlled environment.

I assumed my mom would understand similar rules followed in this situation. Additionally, I had 10 minutes between mom's arrival and my departure, so I could barely explain the pup's schedule and where everything was. Also, it IS common sense. Would you take an unvaccinated baby outside?'

Here are the top comments:

Gonebabythoughts says:

NTA (Not the A^%&ole). Unfortunately, we see this with pets and children all of the time; “grandparents” or other mature adults think they know better than the younger generation with whom they interact and completely disregard directions about diet, play, sleep, and general care. It’s pretty disrespectful.

If your mom didn’t know that young dogs who are unvaccinated should not be around other dogs, she should have asked. But, to your point, she is a prior dog owner herself, so that root cause falls flat pretty quickly.

Do I think your cousin is a blabbermouth who needs to shut her piehole? Yes, yes I do. So maybe one thing to consider is how much you tell her that you don’t want being repeated in an uncontrolled manner. But saying something when asked about it doesn’t make you an a^*#ole.

bluffingpost says:

NTA. You had a reasonable expectation that your mom would follow basic instructions to keep your unvaccinated puppy safe, especially given the clear communication about his vaccination status. Taking the puppy to a public place where he could be exposed to diseases was a significant oversight on her part, particularly for a breed as susceptible to health issues as a German Shepherd puppy.

While you didn't explicitly say "don't take him outside," the context of him being unvaccinated and your instruction to "be careful" should have been enough, especially considering her experience with dogs. It's unfortunate that your puppy contracted parvo, a serious and often deadly disease, due to this lapse in judgment.

You shared the situation with your cousin, which is a natural thing to do, especially when discussing your pet's health and your life. You weren't spreading rumors; you were recounting a factual experience that directly impacted your puppy's well-being. Your mother's refusal to acknowledge her role in the situation or offer an apology only underscores her lack of accountability.

Blocking her might seem like a drastic step, but it's a boundary you felt necessary to set after her dismissive response to a serious situation. Your priority is your pet's health and well-being, and you acted to protect that.

Cataclysmus78 says:

NTA. I feel for your pup, parvovirus is NO JOKE for puppies. Your mom seems to have forgotten puppy 101. You should probably keep important things from Cousin McTalksalot.

What do you think? Is OP right to block her mother?

Sources: Reddit
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