'AITA for deciding to flip the script on my husband?' 'I ALWAYS just do it myself.'
"AITA for deciding to flip the script on my husband, who is constantly negative and critical?"
My husband is a very negative person. Just today within 2 hours he complained 4 times about the stupidest stuff. Having to take our son to baseball, the type of bread I bought, the fact that I bought it at Walmart, and that a friend asked us to let his son know he was running behind at school pickup because he’d have to “wait with him.”
I’d had enough of it, and I told him that, and told him I was going to start giving it back and see how it makes him feel. I’m usually the type to not say anything to avoid argument or a fight. So I just washed all our bedding and went to make the bed while he was watching TV. this is a job he ALWAYS asks me to help him with, while I ALWAYS just do it myself because I don’t see it was a 2 man job.
He gets up from the couch and says “you could have gotten me.” Did he say it with an attitude? No. Could I have been the bigger person and just said “I didn’t need your help?” Yes. But instead I decided to do what he would have done and say “you were awake when I got up, I know you heard me doing it.”
Well that was too much for him and he lost his crap and asked what’s wrong with me. I explained that his negativity is exhausting for me and I’m tired of being the one who holds stuff in that bothers me to avoid a fight, when he can criticize anything and everything I do all day.
This turned in to him screaming at me and telling me I could sleep on the couch. I know It was immature but I don’t really care anymore.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ToothStreet466 said:
I’m petty and I would just write down every negative comment for a week then throw it in his face. The. Let him know what living with him is like. I commit to my petty behavior. Nah, you're not the ahole. He complains nonstop, but the second you push back, he flips out? Classic. If he can dish it, he should take it. Let him sleep on the couch.
RavenaBlue said:
NTA. It’s high time he experiences a taste of his own medicine! It’s exhausting being the only emotional punching bag in the house. If he can’t handle the heat, he shouldn’t dish it out.
lovescarats said:
NTA, but you might be on your way to divorce court.
VixenSeductions09 said:
NTA. Sometimes you just have to flip the script on someone to make them realize their behavior. Hopefully this will make your husband reevaluate his negativity and criticism. And if he still doesn't get it, at least you'll have a clean, comfortable bed to sleep in on the couch.
MsTerious1 said:
It's not immature, and you're NTA. I have lived with my share of men who were critical and it can really wear a person down. I'm grateful that my current Negative Neal can handle it when I call him out on it. At first, it was a lot like you've described - a big argument with big anger. I eventually realized that it was anxiety and he did get medication for it, but it still raises its head sometimes.
Over enough times of me standing my ground and telling him, "Don't talk to me for an hour. I'm tired of your criticisms" or me saying, "Please leave this area for a while and wait until you feel better to return" and "Is there anything GOOD going on in your life?
Because you are negging everything today!" he has learned that it's something he does do, and that it's something I am NOT obligated to accept. He apologizes quickly, but I also have made it a point to accept his apologies quickly and to recognize unspoken apologies and acknowledge them.
TADragonfly said:
NTA. My advice, once he criticizes something, stop engaging with it. You picked up the wrong bread, so youre not doing any more grocery shops. Doesn't like your cooking? Okay, you won't cook anymore.