'AITA for demanding my friend pays for the nice chair she broke? Our friends are split.'
"AITA for demanding my friend pays for the chair she broke?"
I have this friend who is pretty big. Like, 350lbs or maybe a bit more, while everyone else in our circle is more on the slim side. I love her very much and want her to feel at home at my place, so I made sure that my new chairs at the dining table are safe for her to use. But then she didn't really find them comfortable.
No armrests that would be tight to fit in or curved seats to press into her legs or anything, it was just that they weren't upholstered enough for her liking or something. So then she saw that nice comfy lounge chair in my living room and dragged it over to the table because she wanted to use it instead.
I told her it might not be as sturdy as the chairs but she still wanted to use it. It's a designer chair, one of those cup-formed ones with thin brass legs, beautiful but not very stable. Got it at a designer outlet for $250 a few weeks ago. She sat down in it, all good. Then she raised one of her legs to put it on the rim of the chair and against the table.
Okay. Then she decided to fold her other leg below her onto the chair and shifted her weight back and to the left to do this, tilting the chair slightly back while holding on to the table to do this acrobatics. The chair creaked, and then the leg bent and broke and she crashed to the floor with it. My friend hurt her elbow and everyone was all over her and making her feel good that night, including me.
We got her an ice pack and everything and no blame, she was clearly shocked and shaken so it wasn't the time to talk about the chair…she blamed the chair for not being sturdy right away though and said many times how it sucks to be treated like this by the world. I didn't say much in that Moment. But the next day I called her to ask about paying for the chair.
See, it cost much and I didn't offer it to her, and she broke it? She's is extremely angry now and our group of friends is split: some say that I'm wrong because her weight isn't her fault and she should be able to do what she likes regardless, otherwise it's discrimination and also I should have told her absolutely not to sit on that chair if I wasn't sure it would support her.
Some are on my side and say, she shouldn't have dragged a chair over that wasn't intended to be used at the table and if she did, she should have just kept her feet on the floor as that clearly worked better, and that she knows her weight and associated issues best.
I agree with the latter, and also want full price from her. I won't be able to replace the chair with the same model (the regular price is just too high and none are left at the outlet), but it was just a few weeks old so I think I deserve the full price to get something else instead.
Also, I'm just 120lbs and like, I love her, but why would I have to buy only chairs that can support thrice my own weight? That's not how it works in my head. AITA for asking for €250 for the damaged chair? It can’t be repaired either.
The internet had a lot to say in response.
guardlamama wrote:
NTA - Who drags a decorative chair to the dining table when there are already enough chairs? Who leans back in an expensive, decorative chair? My kids get in trouble for leaning back in ordinary chairs at the table. This person has terrible manners, regardless of their weight, and broke your furniture while being rude and careless.
TheSciFiGuy80 wrote:
NTA. I’m not a fan of people saying “her weight isn’t her fault”. Listen, thyroid issue or not she knows she’s heavy and it’s HER responsibility to be careful with other people’s furniture. Her weight may not be her fault but her weight is part of her life and she needs to be more careful.
She should absolutely pay for the chair she broke. If she’s a real friend that (offering to pay) would have been the first thing she did after she felt okay.
Hour-Equivalent-6189 wrote:
NTA she didn’t even break the chair from being too large for it, she broke the chair by sitting on it like a moron. She needs to keep her feet off other peoples expensive furniture.
naraic wrote:
Hey OP. Your friend is 350lbs. I'm a big guy. I'm 220lbs. I weigh a lot less than her but I know not to raise my legs and lean back on random chairs. If I choose to do so I am purposefully risking breaking the chair or purposefully trying to break the chair.
Its a deliberate act of damage imo. Not only should you be getting a refund of what you spent but she should be getting the chair at whatever cost it costs to buy it for you. NTA.
CarolZero wrote:
Look, I'm all about body neutrality, I think fatphobia is VERY real and it sucks that so many people have to deal with a world that does not quite work for their size. I'm sure your friend felt like s-t, I can't imagine the embarrassment, and I'm really sorry she had to go through that. That said, I don't understand how offering to pay the chair wasn't her first instinct.
She's the one who dragged a chair that was not meant to be used in that context AND used it wrong. You literally warned her. I would have offered to pay right away. NTA. Although, we don't know how you communicated it to her, so maybe the delivery could have been a problem if she got so mad? But based only on the facts, yeah, NTA.