"AITA for 'discouraging' my niece's dream career path?"
My (39m) sister (43f) has a 16 year old. Since she was like 10 or 11 she's been sure that she wants to be a pediatrician when she grows up. She's a junior in high school, and she's been taking classes related to health stuff in school.
Last time she came over, we were talking about it, and out of the blue she asked me if I would do the whole doctor thing again if I could. And me, being completely honest, told her no way. I said I'd be a dentist or something. My wife's a dentist and would probably make more than me if I still worked as an employee.
AND she charges cash only lol. I also told her that pediatricians don't really make that much money, at least compared to the debt she'd be looking at. I didn't mean to discourage her though, just telling the truth.
When she left, my sister called asking why I'd say that to her, and I told her that she asked so I answered. And I was just being real. She seemed pretty mad though that I put her off to a "good" career. My sister didn't even say my niece felt put off. She's just talking for her. AITA? BTW, I'm not a pediatrician. I did a different specialty.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
TightDrummer2055 said:
If only someone had given me useful career advice rather than let me start school at a private university, that ate up all of my scholarship money in one year by the way, for a “career” in checks notes athletic training, I’d probably be retiring from the military in two years.
You did your niece right. If she’s meant to be a pediatrician, she’ll find that career. But letting your children walk into college with stars in their eyes is cruel. Signed…a higher ed professional of almost 15 years.
SouthernNanny said:
Only because I work for a lot of doctors and they have all said they wouldn’t be pediatricians because they are the lowest paid doctors out of them all and work is harder. So my vote is a soft NTA only because you can’t manage everyone’s expectations but you also have to say something positive about a child’s dreams/dream career.
Hopstorm said:
NTA. Speaking as a European, higher education is free here. At least I do not know any country that you have to pay to attend to public universities. Therefore, it's normal for people to change fields of study. Actually, a friend of mine dropped out of medical school in her fourth year to pursue dentistry.
However, if I had to pay such a great sum you pay in USA, I'd want to be 100% certain of my decision and hear as many opinions from people in the profession as possible, so I don't end up with a huge debt and an unfulfilling job.
Kris82868 said:
NTA. She asked a very logical question to someone close to her who she counted on to give her an honest opinion. You gave it.
JuxtaposieJen said:
NTA. She is 16 - not 10. She is at the stage where she needs to have all the information to make her decisions. Sounds like her mom wants to say her daughter is a pediatrician more than she wants her to make an informed decision.
Broccolilover9 said:
NTA. You were being honest and helpful. It doesn't help your niece to get into a career not knowing what to expect and then being unhappy about the reality. You are helping her make an informed decision.
Enuya95 said:
NTA. She asked, you answered honestly and explained your reasoning. I'd say you're a good person for being honest and open with her