"AITA for disinviting my sister-in-law from my wedding?"
I (26F) am 10 weeks pregnant. My partner (28M) and I told our immediate families early but made it VERY clear we weren't telling anyone else until after the first trimester.
Last night, my fiancé's sister (29F) posted a story on instagram. It was a "get ready with me" for a family dinner we had LAST weekend. She then causally indirectly talks about becoming an auntie..she tagged me and my fiancé.
I saw it when I got a notification that I was tagged. I had over 50 messages from distant friends and coworkers before I could even process it. We hadn't even told our friends yet.
I was totally mad, called her screaming. She tried to say it was "an accident" and that she "forgot" and she was just teasing. I told her she was uninvited from our wedding. She cried, my future in-laws are furious, saying I'm overreacting and "ruining the family" over a "silly social media post." They say I should just be happy people are excited. My fiancé is on my side.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Niccon43 said:
NTA not only did she go against your wishes, she also took away your joy of making that announcement yourselves.
JustAsICanBeSoCruel said:
NTA, and your in-laws reaction says it all. You made it clear you wanted NO ONE to know other than those you personally told. After your SiL told everyone, your in-laws said you should just be happy people are excited. I would seriously rethink how involved I want them in my child's life after this. Apparently, your boundaries and wants mean nothing to them.
FollowThisNutter said:
NTA. At all. However, IF you want to calm the family ruckus down, you could offer her a chance to earn her invite back. All she would have to do is delete the post and make another apologizing for sharing news she knew she shouldn't, just to get likes and comments. The new post has to go up immediately and stay up through the wedding. If she does that, she can attend.
scratchypancake said:
NTA. You can’t get what should have been a joyful moment back. There will be many more, but she had no right to take this from you and your fiancé. It clearly wasn’t an accident, she chose to post and tag you.
I would only rethink about re inviting her to your wedding if she gives you a true, full apology and this is not one of a pattern of similar issues. Congratulations on the pregnancy and upcoming marriage. I hope it goes smoothly for you, and things with the in-laws calm down soon.
Gloomy-Kaleidoscope4 said:
While I think you are NTA for being upset, disiviting her based on this one issue seems over reactive. You are marrying into this family, it is worth potential lifelong resentment? However, if future SIL has a habit of this sort of attention seeking behavior at the expense of others, then it is a different story.
ThorsHammerMewMEw said:
NTA. But you could've also just not told anyone yet until you were ready to let the world know.
rjtnrva said:
NTA. I would rescind her invitation as well. Who does what she did??