"AITA for docking my son's allowance?"
I (50M) just switched insurance companies to try and save money because I've instituted a monthly budget to stop our overspending in our family of 5 (48F, 19M, 16F, 13F and 5 cats). The new insurance company asked for 19M's Driver's Ed Completion Certificate. I contacted the company who said he cannot get the certificate because he skipped the online portion.
My son passed the in-class and road tests but has an "objection to online drivers ed because it's pointless." I explained that no matter how pointless it feels, it was a term of our contract with them and he broke it, and the result is that my insurance is $13 a month more than it would have been had he completed the course.
I still give him an allowance and I've reduced it by that $13 a month because I hold him 100% responsible for not completing his course, which cost $715 by the way. Am I the ahole?
Am I being petty for nickeling and diming a young man and shaking him down to help pay my bills? My other options included just to take him off my policy and forbid him to drive at all, or make him reimburse me the $715 I paid for his driver's ed.
I didn't do any of that. I think I'm invoking a natural consequence based on real world impact and not vengeance. It's literally one less Mary Browns 3-piece Combo per month.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
ironchef8000 said:
You’re wrong for considering this “nickeling and diming” or shaking him down. This is called being an adult. He has responsibilities. Privileges cost money. Actions have consequences. NTA by a long shot.
indicatprincess said:
NTA. He can do a what, 5-9 hour course and be done with it and learn something….or he can pay for breaking the deal. I’d cut the allowance. It’s probably not in the budget, and it’s probably bets for him to start paying his own bills. He’d appreciate money more if he was wasting his own money.
rollypollyollyy said:
NTA, I don’t think you were harsh enough tbh. I would make him pay his portion of the insurance since he didn’t want to finish the required course that ALSO cost money. We all have to do things in life we think are pointless. He’s definitely being the AH here.
Weird_Inevitable8427 said:
NTA. But why is a 19 year old getting an allowance? He's not 8. 19 year olds don't get allowances. They get jobs. Usually a small job if they are in school full time. This idea of his that he doesn't have to do things he doesn't want to do is coming from you. You're teaching him to slide and Mommy will make up for it.
UnfortunateDaring said:
NTA - he’s an adult, it’s time he learns what that means and that means he shouldn’t be getting an allowance. He should have a freakin job and be paying his bills.
90DayLEGO said:
NTA. This feels like a natural consequence for his choices.
West_House_2085 said:
NTA. He's paying the consequences of breaking a deal he made with you leading to higher insurance costs to YOU. This is directly related to him failing his class. Taking it out of his allowance sounds very reasonable to me! He can at least help for paying to retake the class, too. I think it'll also lower his rates later.
ontheleftcoast said:
NTA, decisions have consequences. He should bear the consequence of his decision.
Amarubi007 said:
NTA. Technically he is an adult, and doesn't need an allowance unless he is in collage. You gave him.a real consequences due to his behavior. Once he is employed, his employer may require online training. Not completing it may lead to bigger consequences.