'AITA for driving away without my wife because she can't plan?'
"AITA for driving away without my wife because she can't plan?"
For the past week, my wife and I had been anticipating a baseball game for which we had purchased tickets. We like baseball, but we don't attend many games, so traveling into the city to see games is a rare treat.
I know, though, that it would take time to drive there and find parking, due to traffic. Because the game started at 7 PM, and we live about 45 minutes from the stadium, I told her this morning that she needed to be ready to get in the car and go by 6 PM.
Well, my wife is an avid gamer, so she was engrossed in her latest video game when the clock struck 5:45 PM. She has struggled to plan in the past, and I get tired of reminding her that she needs to budget time to get ready. It's as if she has no concept of time at all, similar to a young child.
Well, I was ready to go by 6 PM, and she was in the bathroom. I saw this as an opportunity to teach her personal responsibility, so I simply left the house without saying a word, got in the car, and started driving to the game.
It took my wife a few minutes to figure out what I had done, but when she called me, she was absolutely furious. She said that it was a completely unacceptable move for me to leave without telling her and that she now had no way to get to the game without paying for parking.
I told her that I got tired of constantly waiting for her and that she would plan better next time if she didn't want to get left behind. I also reminded her that I had told her that morning when I expected her to be ready to leave. Absolutely none of this seemed to matter, though, and she rudely hung up on me after yelling out more insults.
Frankly, I think it's completely insane that a grown woman is unable to budget her time, and I'm starting to suspect that she is doing this on purpose because she's a narcissist who expects me to accommodate her. After all, she's not a dumb woman. She has a science degree.
Well, she never showed up to the stadium, and I didn't hear from her the whole game, but when I got home, there was a note on the door. She told me that I wasn't welcome in the bedroom and that I should sleep on the couch. I can't believe she wants to be this much of a pill.
If I had waited for her, I would have missed the first pitch. I made my expectations clear, and she couldn't be bothered to meet them. I feel like she should be apologizing to me. AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say here:
Ousmousse said:
YTA. I wouldn't have blamed you for leaving but you should have told her. "Honey, put on your shoes I'm leaving": how hard is that? Who cares if she's "dumb" or has a science degree, it has nothing to do with punctuality and it can happen to anyone to not see time go by. YTA because you know your wife, you knew she wouldn't be ready and you left on purpose to "punish" her. Enjoy your couch.
IntrospectOnIt said:
YTA. You waited until she was in the bathroom and couldn't see you to leave to "teach her a lesson" (while she was actively getting ready and nearly done by your timeline of just a couple minutes to notice you were gone). You are infantalizing her and she was literally just a couple minutes behind you. She is not the pill here. You're a whole entire chore.
ohheyaine said:
YTA. My partner is CONSTANTLY late and is the furthest from "narcissistic" it's literally an ADHD symptom. You passive aggressively leaving, and trying to "teach her a lesson" like that tho? Red flaggy af. Baseball < your marriage.
TheSciFiGuy80 said:
YTA Wow. My favorite part is where you are shocked, SHOCKED that your wife is mad at you and wants you on the couch.
Snoo-45470 said:
YTA. I was in your corner until you said you left without a word while she was in the bathroom. Just a simple “Hey I’m leaving in 5 mins whether you’re ready or not” and then it would have been a solid NTA.
80sForeva said:
Yta. You must be a newlywed because no sane husband should ever think it's a good idea to "teach their wife a lesson."
PrincessVeganBimbo said:
YTA for leaving without saying anything. You were being petty by not even letting her know that you were leaving. I would have voted the other way had you told her that you were leaving. You guys need therapy.