"AITA for eating enough ravioli for four people?"
My girlfriend and I have what I would have considered to be the perfect relationship. We moved in together in January, and I thought it was going to be a dream. We love each other. We have similar hobbies. We are both obsessed with our dogs. Living with my best friend who is also my partner felt like a no-brainer.
However, since the move in we have had our first real disagreement, and we can't seem to resolve it. Yesterday it became our first real fight. My girlfriend thinks I eat too much.
When we first moved in we went shopping together. I bought an 18 egg carton, and she thought that was too many, and I joked it wasn't enough. She said okay, she'll just have to bake something.
She was shocked by how much we spent, and I reminded her that we are two people now and paid for all the groceries. On my day off she saw that I used six eggs to make scrambled eggs for breakfast, and she couldn't believe it.
I told her not to worry, that I can run by the store and get more eggs tomorrow if we run out. She thought it was ridiculous to eat six eggs worth of scrambled eggs, but she accepted my promise to buy more eggs.
This has come up several more times. Sunday, I went grocery shopping. I saw a bag of frozen ravioli for sale and bought it on impulse because it looked good. Yesterday, after I got home from work, I was hungry and made the ravioli. I ate all of it.
When my girlfriend got home from work she asked if I wanted to get a pizza for dinner. I said yes. She said I was probably starving, and I said I was hungry but not starving, because I ate ravioli. She asked if it was the big bag from the freezer. I said yes. She said we can just eat the rest of it. I said I ate it all.
She couldn't believe that I ate enough ravioli for four people (bag says serves four). I said I was hungry. She said there was no point getting dinner now. I asked why. She said I couldn't be hungry after eating enough ravioli for four people (she kept saying this over and over again, enough for four people).
I said I was. She was upset, and I asked what exactly she wanted me to do or have done. She said I should have just waited for her so we could eat together. I said we can eat together and that I'm hungry.
She didn't believe me. I ended up just going to get the pizza. She told me not to, but I went anyway. I got her favorite pizza (spinach alfredo) and mine (regular with onions and jalapeno).
She ate her pizza, but she also said she was upset that I was "forcing myself to eat to prove a point" and that she just wants me to stop being so "greedy and impatient." She said she wants to share meals with me like a normal couple. She said we should have been able to split one pizza.
I just don't get it. If I'm hungry and there is food, I am going to eat. If there is something she wants to save, tell me. I won't eat that. But I will eat something. I'm not going to go hungry. Am I an AH for that?
Answers: I keep answering questions, and people keep asking them again. Maybe my responses are invisible.
I am 6'2", 192lbs, and my job is very physical (sometimes). I run with our dogs a lot and I work out a lot. I am not fat. Most of my weight is muscle.
We do not have shared finances. When I buy food it's me paying for it. I try to go to the grocery store twice a week, so I buy most of the food. Since I eat way more than her, this feels fair to me.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
My husband eats like this - but my husband also runs 20 miles for a light workout. It honestly depends on your lifestyle, but if you're an athlete then this seems like a normal amount of food.
My partner can eat really large portions. In the beginning of our relationship I was sometimes a little concerned because wtf 😂 he’s in good health though and I’ve long ago accepted that this is just how he eats - he also cooks nearly all our meals though, so it’s all good.
A lot of guys eat like this. If they're not fat, but they eat that way regularly, then that's just how much their body needs to supply it with the right amount of energy/nutrition.
I can eat 10 eggs for breakfast along with toast, milk with coffee, and some yogurt. I also work out a lot, and am not fat by any means. If someone tried to tell me I'm eating too much, I'd ask them to try being my size and eat less while maintaining the same activity level.
It's not just the guys. My sister can eat like a three people's worth of food but she burns them fast. Everyday she works out so she's physically fit. It really just depends on the people's bodies and health lifestyle. I think OP's girlfriend is not just used to people who eat huge portions and even be healthy. NTA.
For ravioli specifically the serving sizes are a complete joke. No way I’m eating like 4-5 ravioli only.
NTA - was your girlfriend not aware of your appetite before moving in together? There is no reason for her to police your food intake, especially if you are that physically active and in shape. I have a friend who’s a bodybuilder – the amount of food that he eats in a day is about what I eat in a week.
The simple answer is you eat what you eat. Assuming you are not harming your health, nor ruining your budget, then there is no discussion. If your gf cannot come to terms with that, find another gf. Arguing over such a thing is just dumb.
NTA. What you both need to have a conversation around his metabolic differences. This is beyond your physical control. This is beyond her control. She probably doesn’t need to eat that much and cannot fathom why somebody else needs to.
Basically she needs some education about different metabolic rates, more muscle means more food, and men in general need to eat more. I actually miss when my son was home because he would finish off everything. Too much food goes in the garbage now.
Better_Philosophy732 (OP)
I feel like we keep having that conversation, but maybe not using those exact words. I'll try using that terminology. I keep saying that between my at times very physical job and running with the dogs and working out, I just get hungry.