We were together about 9 months. I thought things were going great until about a month ago when out of the blue, she told me we need to break up. I was super confused and asked why she said that. She told me that I wasn’t attentive enough and that she deserved better.
I was confused, angry, and hurt all at the same time. I thought I was paying her the right amount of attention but obviously she didn’t think so. I would have fought for our relationship and paid more attention but when she said she could do better, that really riled me up.
I cut all contact with her. I’m talking about unfollowing and blocking her on all accounts, deleting all of her contact information from all of my devices, and deleting our texts. It was to the point that even if I wanted to contact her, I couldn’t unless I drove to her place. I spent the month in pain and I’ll admit, I cried a few times. Her words that she could do better haunted me.
Last night there was a knock on my door and when I opened it, there she was. She tried asking me how I’m doing but I cut her off and asked her what she wants. Basically she said I failed her test and that she was expecting me to pay more attention to her, not go no contact. She also said that I need to do better since she’s taking me back.
I closed the door in her face and she spent the next 10 minutes begging me to talk. She and her friends texted me the entire night basically saying that it’s normal for women to test their men and that I’m overreacting.
They said that normally they start out with small tests but my ex jumped the gun and went for the big test because she saw us together for along time and wanted to make sure I was the one. I never answered any of them and blocked every number that texted me. Am I overreacting? She’s only the 2nd serious girlfriend I’ve had.
rgw_fun said:
What they did was incredibly immature, manipulative, toxic, and if we can be honest - stupid. I mean I guess it’s nice she wasn’t really expecting you to fail her test, but that also says a lot about what kind of person she is. That she would make someone feel the kinda pain you’re feeling now - on purpose - just to toy with them on a forgone conclusion.
Cut off contact. If she does get her claws into you, tell her your primary relationship is with yourself and you can’t disrespect yourself by allowing her back in your life. Congratulations, you passed the test. NTA.
Ok_Distribution_2603 said:
Dumbest thing ever. She wanted another guy, it didn’t work out, now she’s back. NTA. Block her and her friends and go get the revenge of living your life well.
avatarjulius said:
NTA. She broke up with you and spent a month probably trying to get with some other guy only to strikeout and settle for you. This isn't a "failed test," was a break up.
Melificent40 said:
NTA. I have no idea if this is common enough to call it 'normal', but it absolutely should NOT be. Society MUST reach a point that when one person says 'this is over', the other one takes it seriously. Asking if there's a specific reason is fine, but behaving contrary to that message would be wrong.
Rooflife1 said:
She is abusing you not testing you. It is pretty clear that if you had tested her like that she would not have accepted it. She showed her true colors. Can’t go back now.
OceanBreeze_123 said:
NTA. “She and her friends texted me the entire night basically saying that it’s normal for women to tests their men” — no. We don’t. Ever. She broke up with you because she met someone else. That OP is why is was so abruptly broken off. She confirmed it by giving you an entirely different fake reason at your door.