"AITA for feeling like my friends used me to make more off of me and then cutting me out?'
"AITA for “throwing everything back in our faces” after I feel as though my friends use me?"
cheetahgirlgroupie writes:
I (25F) have two friends, Zach (26M) and Bella (26F), who I have had a rocky year with. For context, we had all grown up together and had talked about moving in together to help save money. We thought it would be fun to live with friends.
Bella was living with her parents in another state and moved back to our home state without a job. It took her about three months to find one. She had some savings and crashed at Zach’s studio apartment. I live at home with my family.
I work a full-time corporate job, and both Zach and Bella work part-time and have side ventures, which bring in some income but not much. So, in order to make this work and help everyone save for the security deposit, I got both of them side work with my job.
I negotiated their pay pretty high for what they do, but thankfully, my job was gracious enough to offer it when I explained the situation. I also cooked them dinner a lot (we always had leftovers from family dinner anyway) to help them save money.
But when the time came for us to tour places to live, suddenly all that money was gone, and the security deposits on three-bedroom homes were too expensive. I asked them where all the money went, and they had been blowing it at bars, clubs in our nearby city, and the dispensary because they “deserve to have fun sometimes.”
I was like, well, what the hell? The whole point of this was to help save money so we could all move in together. And then they said, “Well, security deposits are cheaper on two-bedroom apartments, and you live at home, so we were thinking of getting a place together.”
Well, I was pissed. I told them that, and I said it was kind of cr^#@y of them to cut me out after I’ve been getting them work, cooking for them for months, and helping them financially whenever I could. Then they accused me of throwing everything back in their faces and “keeping score.” I don’t know. I don’t try to be that friend who’s tit-for-tat, but I also don’t appreciate being treated like this. AITA?
Here are some comments on the post.
Caspian4136 says:
NTA. You're finding out the sad reality a lot of face around this age - our friends from school change drastically once we become adults and we grow apart from them due to these changes. It sucks, but they've clearly been using you and never had plans to move in with you.
Honestly, it's better you find out now before signing a lease with them, because it'd only get so much worse. You'd be cooking all the time, cleaning, buying the food and on and on. Since they don't manage money well, no doubt they'd be late on bills and rent, potentially causing you financial strain.
All the while you're stuck with them for a full year due to the lease you signed. Be glad they showed their true colors now and you don't have to waste more time and money on them. These aren't people I'd continue to be friends with.
fatsandlucifer says:
Girl! Stay with your parents as long as possible, save your coin, invest and once you’re in a great financial place get yourself a dream place BY YOURSELF. Leave those losers in the dust. NTA.
No_Illustrator8588 says:
NTA and you dodge a bullet. They probably would've been short on rent eventually since they're blowing what little money that they have on a good time.
Hansm84 says:
These people aren’t your friends. Consider yourself lucky that you figured this out before signing the lease. NTA.