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'AITA for getting mad at my friends for hooking up beside me while I was asleep?' UPDATED

'AITA for getting mad at my friends for hooking up beside me while I was asleep?' UPDATED

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Sometimes you need an outside opinion in order to confirm just how much you've been wronged.

"AITA for getting mad at my friends for hooking up beside me while I was asleep?"

My friends and I (25F) were on a getaway to the mountains and had rented a house for our stay. After a long day, we returned back to the house, relaxed, had our dinner, and divided all the rooms amongst ourselves. I was sharing the room with my friend (25F) 'Nancy'. All goes well. We turn the lights off and I'm asleep before I know it (I was sooo tired).

In the middle of the night, I am awakened by an earthquake, or so I thought. The bed is moving and peculiar noises seem to be coming from behind me. I turn around and lo and behold, my very two unclothed friends are going at it...right beside me I literally jumped out of the bed. They tried to cover up as fast as they could but I had already seen things I'll never forget.

I was seeing red lol. It triggered a s-ty memory from my childhood where I had been in a very similar situation but with my parents. I yelled at them and straight up started insulting both of them, and I said pretty mean stuff. I then dashed out of the room and spent the night on the couch in the cold.

The next morning, my other friend who found me on the couch asked me about what happened and that she heard me yelling last night. I told her the whole story and for some reason, she found it funny. When everyone else found out about what happened, they started laughing and making jokes, which I didn't mind since it lightened the mood a little.

Nancy and the guy 'Rick' soon came out of the room as well. Everyone told me to just forget about it and enjoy the rest of the trip, but Nancy told me that I was way too rude for something so silly. Rick didn't say much, he looked kind of embarrassed of the whole thing.

I told Nancy that they could have woke me up and asked me to leave if they were so horny, and that I had every right to be mad because you don't start banging on a bed where SOMEONE IS LITERALLY SLEEPING. Nancy said that I was overreacting and it was "not that deep." I was annoyed and pissed, and told her to stay away from me for the rest of the trip since we were all there to enjoy.

Now that we're back, Nancy refuses to talk to me and is adamant in saying that I was the one who was at fault and is being a pain in my butt in general. She's calling me a "v*rgin" (which I am) and claiming that I'm just jealous that she is more desirable than me. She said all this to my face in private, so no one in the group knows.

Everyone in the friend group thinks that I should just let it go and reconcile with Nancy and Rick, but Nancy keeps putting all the blame on me and it's getting on my nerve now. So, AITA?

Five days later, OP shared another update.

Someone asked me to update so here you go. I don't think they'll let me update on the sub so I'll just put it here for anyone who's interested. Turns out Nancy and Rick were using me to fulfill some weird sex fantasy and THE WHOLE GROUP WAS IN ON IT!

They all knew that Rick and Nancy were planning on doing something like this and they both did it with me particularly because I'm waiting for marriage to have s-x and am still a v*rgin. I've been an inside joke in the friend group for God knows how long and I had no idea that they thought of me like that.

They think just because I'm waiting for marriage, I'm a loser who can't get anybody to sleep with me, as if I'm not a sane adult who can make her own choices regarding her own damn body. Two people in the group had done this exact same thing with another girl but that girl had laughed it off, so they saw nothing wrong with it.

They just thought it would be so funny to "prank" me like that. A guy in the same group told me all this privately after I shared the link of the original post in our group chat. He said that he would have told me on the trip itself but he got pressured into staying quiet because "it will ruin the fun."

I'm truly disgusted.

Rick did apologize but I haven't heard from Nancy. The others who were laughing said they didn't think it would be a big deal and wouldn't have participated if they knew it would make me uncomfortable.

They don't know that I know about all the jokes they make on me behind my back. And all the apologies came only after I shared the post and made them read what the comments were saying. I have decided to ghost them altogether. I'd rather have no friends than associate myself with a bunch of judgmental idiots who act like 16-year-olds.

I also wanted to clarify that the childhood memory I had mentioned wasn't abusive. My parents were doing it beside me thinking I was asleep but I woke up from the noises they were making. The room was dark, I didn't see anything except their silhouettes, and they never realized that I was awake. Thank you to everyone who showed their support and gave advice.

People had a lot to say in response.

knittedjedi wrote:

"The others who were laughing said they didn't think it would be a big deal and wouldn't have participated if they knew it would make me uncomfortable."

It's always wild when grown adults pretend that they couldn't have known that doing something inappropriate would make someone uncomfortable.

Acceptable_Box_7500 wrote:

This is such a v-lation. I'm struggling to understand how not one, not two, but an entire group of friends thought it was reasonable to involve an unsuspecting, non-consenting third party in someone's kink. I'm really deeply upset on OP's behalf.

Havik-Programmer92 wrote:

I have no clue about legal stuff, but would purposely including someone in your s--ual acts without their consent be viewed as some form of s--ual harassment? Probably not in this case, but you never know.

missgrey-el wrote:

“They didn’t think it would be a big deal and wouldn’t have participated if they knew it would make me uncomfortable.” What was it supposed to do then. What was the goal. How is there any goal besides making her uncomfortable. quickly now.

incorrigible_reacher wrote:

I mean…Legal Google says, “illegal for a person to knowingly expose his or her genitals in the view of others for the purpose of s--ual arousal when s/he should know the behavior will cause affront, distress, or alarm to the other person.”

Given their intent was malicious and specifically aimed at her, she could legitimately have legal grounds to go after them. This is just awful for her.

greymoria wrote:

Nancy's comment: "It's not that deep." Was that in reference to her being shallow, Rick being small, the friend group being shallow, small-minded people or all of the above?

I'm voting for all of the above.

skyeguy wrote:

Hey, so this sounds like some flavor of cr-me, right?

Sources: Reddit
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