'AITA for giving a sitter a Xmas cash present?'

"AITA for giving a sitter a Xmas cash present?"

My brother, Chris, is a single dad with a 15yo, 10yo and 7yo sons. He's been dealing with multiple health issues. Luckily for him, I do have and make a nice amount of money to help them stay afloat and they don't realize that they are poor.

Chris lives next door to a family and they have a son who is in his 20s named Teddy. He occasionally watches the younger two when Chris has to work or is not feeling well.

A couple of months ago, Chris had to be admitted to the hospital for a few days and the neighbor cut his vacation early to watch the boys. I was out of town but I was impressed that the boys didn't miss any sport practices, the house was clean, laundry done and Teddy actually got the younger one bathed every night.

I do watch the younger two and it's likely all three will eventually move in with me nect year and my brother might have to be put in a specialized care.

On Tuesday I went to pick up the boys to do Xmas shopping and the 10yo asked if he could see Teddy. I asked why and he said he had to give him something but wouldn't say what. I found out my nephew made Teddy a Xmas card and saying he was sorry that he couldn't buy Teddy something because he was broke.

I pretended that I didn't know about the card and told my nephews that Teddy does a lot and we should give him a gift. The younger two made cards and the oldest bought one. I put cash in the envelopes and the boys put the cards in their mailbox.

My brother called me today and asked if I gave Teddy money. I said yes. He said that wasn't my place and he was going to give Teddy like $50. My brother said the amount was excessive and made him look incompetent.

He said at the very least I should had asked him if that was cool with tipping his babysitter and all of a sudden Teddy feels obligated to spend time with them.

I said I didn't do anything wrong. This kid is richer and your son isn't embarrassed about being poor and now you got a free sitter.

Let's see what readers thought:

aplloy writes:

NTA. You are a kind and generous soul. Your brother is trying to gain some semblance of control. Try to be a little patient with him. It is not easy to get sick and go from provider to burden. Thanks for stepping up for your family. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family. I pray that your brother recovers.

emca0 writes:

YTA. You seem to be lacking in fundamental social skills.

Was it a good thing to give the sitter an extra holiday tip. Sure, but you did it completely wrong.

But let's get back to your nibling wanting to give a gift to his sitter. What is broken in your brain that you didn't take the kid to the store, give him an appropriate spending limit for a child, and let him choose a gift? Would that really have been so hard?

Whether or not the child comes from a 'poor' family, it is completely normal for adults to foot the bill when children want to give presents.

As for the tip, you very obviously do not put cash in cards that are from children. So tacky. All you had to do was write a letter of thanks and send the sitter some money from you to him.

fl8022 writes:

NTA- just your brother might feel a bit embarrassed because maybe he couldn’t afford to do it himself.