"AITA (28F) for giving my husband (30M) the space he asked for?"
For some background info my husband (30M) has been having some troubles with his job, he’s been super stressed. The workload is a lot and he’s getting to a point where he can’t take it anymore. He’s away for a week for a course he had to take for his job and even at this course he can’t get away from the workload.
As well as personal issues in his life, money, better job opportunities etc.. he calls me 3 days ago and he says he doesn’t want to speak to anyone including me. He says it’s nothing specifically to do with me and he explains to me everything going on that i already know, so at this point I’m just letting him vent.
I understand his frustrations so i give him the space. We share locations… last night i had a horrible dream and couldn’t sleep for most of the night, as soon as i wake up i want to call him, but i don’t due to him expressing to me that he needed to be alone so i respect that.
But i look at his location just to make sure he’s okay and he’s not dead in a ditch somewhere and the location doesn’t show his live location, it shows a location from 3 hours ago which is the hotel that he was staying at.
So i figure his phone died or his connection isn’t great at the hotel. I try to not overthink but my mind immediately goes to, is he somewhere else and he paused his location???? But to my knowledge you can’t do that on an iPhone right?? Correct me if I’m wrong.
So today he starts blowing up my phone telling me how much he loves me and misses me etc.. kind of out of the normal for him as he isn’t a super emotional person and doesn’t express his love with words as much as actions, so that’s how i know he’s struggling really bad when he starts pouring his emotional out. I don’t reply instantly because I’m not expecting him to text me, and I’m at work busy.
He then continues to start asking me who I’m with and what I’m doing and why I’m not replying and then accuses me of being with another man… which i don’t reply to. Because i again am busy at work and am not on my phone. After a while i reply and ask him what’s wrong and why he’s asking those kind of questions… he does upset me and i tell him that i need some time to free up at work so then we can talk.
He then tells me he doesn’t want to speak to me anymore because i didn’t reply when he needed me to, so now i I’m confused and just want to continue giving him the space he so badly needed. AITAH for giving him this space?
This is what people had to say to OP:
ProfessorDistinct835 said:
Every accusation is a confession. He cheated on you, felt guilty and love bombed you, then accused you of cheating. Do with this information what you will. NTA.
Mundane-Cantaloupe78 said:
Your husband is having an affair.
OP responded:
Yeah i have a feeling he is, just a hunch you know.
Agreeable-Tell-3116 said:
Hes not stressed about work. He's been cheating. Feeling guilty. He probably got an ultimatum from AP to leave you for good, and or she found out he was married so he love bombed you to come back. Borrow his car drive from last few locations find AP and get evidence. I'm sorry OP hugs
And Bluewaveempress said"
He cheated. I don't usually go there first. Accusation= cheated. Going no contact while married unless one partner is dangerous isn't proper spousal behavior. Tell him you want to talk. in person. Then if he keeps this crap up - attorney.
Vampira309 said:
He is projecting an affair on to you, because he just slept with his affair partner last night, while you were having nightmares. He's a toolbag. First he wants his space so he can mess around and now he feels guilty and is love bombing you. Gross. Call him out. It would be cool if you could pack and leave before he gets home. He doesn't deserve you. NTA.