"AITA for going off and suing my son's judo trainer? He sometimes physically hurts him."

"AITA for going off and suing my son's judo trainer after discovering he's verbally ab-sive and sometimes physically hurts him?"

My son (14) has been attendin judo classes for about a year now. He’s been really passionate about it, and I was proud to see him develope both physically and mentally from the sport. He looked forward to his practices every week, and as a parent, I felt that his confindence and discipline were growing.

But something started to feel off recently. Over the last few weeks, I noticed that my son wasn’t excited to go to practice anymore. He’d been coming home from judo looking more upset each time, but he never told me exactly why. At first, I thought maybe he was just having a bad week or maybe some of the drills were getting harder, but the change was so noticeable.

He just didn’t seem like the same enthusiastic kid when it came to judo anymore. One day, a few days ago, he came home looking absolutely devastated. He was clearly upset and near tears, and when I asked him what happened, he just said he didn’t want to go back to judo anymore.

At first, he wouldn’t tell me why, and it took a lot of coaxing and reassurance before he finally opened up. When he did tell me, it was something I could never have expected: he said that his judo trainer has been verbally ab-sing him during practice.

The coach would make harsh comments, call him names, and make him feel worthless in front of the other kids. He even said that the coach sometimes hurt him physically during training, though not enough to leave bruises. He described rough handling, being forced into uncomfortable holds that seemed unnecessary, and some moments that felt like intimidation rather than teaching.

This wasn’t just a one-off incident either it had been happening over the last few weeks, and each time, my son became more withdrawn and upset about it. Naturally, I was furious and devistated. I couldn’t believe that someone in a position of authority someone who should be guiding and encouraging kids was treating my son like this.

After getting the full story from him, I immediately called the coach to confront him. The guy denied everything, of course, claiming that my son was “just weak” and “too sensitive.” He also made a few excuses about “toughening him up,” which only made me angrier.

Not stopping there, I reached out to other parents whose kids were also in the judo program. To my shock, several of them told me that their kids were having similar experiences and didn’t want to attend anymore either.

Some of them said their kids had mentioned the verbal ab-se but hadn’t said anything about physical stuff. After hearing this, I felt even more sure that I wasn’t overreacting and that this wasn’t an isolated incident. I then made the decision to take legal action. I went to a lawyer and started the process of suing the trainer for both verbal ab-se and physical harm.

I’m not sure how this will play out, but I’m hoping it will make him face the consequences of his actions. Now, I’m feeling a little conflicted. I don’t want to seem like I’m overreacting or being that parent who can’t take criticism of their kid, but at the same time, what happened to my son wasn’t just “tough love.”

He’s emotionally shaken, and no one should have to endure that from a coach. So, AITA for going off on this trainer and suing him after finding out he’s been ab-sing my son and other kids in his class? Let me know your thoughts, I really need some perspective on this.

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Candid_Process1831 wrote:

Absolutly not the AH! Your sons trainer is the AH he should know how to treate kids and encourage them insted of making them feel bad and worthless. He is an absolute AH, he sould not be allowed to teach anymore if this happend to other kids as well!!!

OP responded:

Totally agree with you on him not teaching kids anymore. He needs to be held accountable for his actions towards my son and the other kids, his behavior towards them is absolute unacceptable.

Double-Phrase116 wrote:

Your son seems weak. You seem overprotective. It's a physical combat sport, not baking cupcakes. So he was hurt but "not enough to leave bruises" - so not hurt at all? What are you expecting? He is learning to FIGHT. Sounds like you're raising a delicate flower and both of you need to reset your expectations.

Sweetest_Teaz wrote:

NTA at all. Protecting your child from abuse isn’t overreacting; it’s parenting. What that coach did isn’t 'tough love'.. it’s straight-up b-llying and borderline ass-ult. The fact that other kids and parents are sharing similar stories just proves this guy shouldn’t be anywhere near a position of authority over kids.

Suing might feel extreme to some people, but honestly, how else is he going to face real consequences for his actions? You’re doing the right thing standing up for your son and showing him that it’s okay to demand respect and accountability. Good on you for not letting this slide.

Daniel31299 wrote:

NTA. What the trainer did goes far beyond “tough love” or legitimate coaching—it’s abuse, plain and simple. Coaches are supposed to build up their athletes, not tear them down emotionally or physically.

The fact that other parents and kids have had similar experiences only reinforces that this isn’t an isolated issue; it’s a pattern of behavior that should have no place in any sports environment. Taking legal action is not an overreaction.

By doing so, you’re standing up for your son and other kids who might not have had the courage or opportunity to speak up. This isn’t just about holding the trainer accountable—it’s about protecting children from harm and ensuring that no one else has to go through what your son experienced. It’s understandable to feel conflicted, but your son’s emotional and physical well-being comes first.

Coaches don’t have the right to verbally demean or physically harm children under the guise of “discipline” or “toughening them up.” You’re not just being a good parent—you’re being an advocate for all the kids who’ve been affected by this behavior. Stick to your guns and trust your instincts—you’re doing the right thing.