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'AITA for just refusing to cook for my wife at this point? She is always complaining.'

'AITA for just refusing to cook for my wife at this point? She is always complaining.'

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"AITAH for just refusing to cook for my wife at this point?"

I am 39 and male. My wife, Jennifer, is 37. We have been married for eight years, and we have two children. I work full-time, and Jennifer is a SAHM. She’s a wonderful mother to our children, but one thing that she does not like to do is cook. This works out just fine for me, as I generally get off work by 4:30, and I happen to be a phenomenal cook.

My father was a chef, and I’ve been cooking since I was ten years old. I also worked as a line cook for several years. Virtually everyone loves my cooking. When we have company, it gets rave reviews. Our children always ask for seconds. I put a lot into it, and I take pride in my cooking skills.

The only person who doesn’t like it is Jennifer. She complains endlessly. “Too salty.” “Too much pepper.” “This is undercooked.” She also backseat cooks a lot, where I’ll be in the kitchen making something, and she won’t shut up about what I should be doing differently.

The worst part, though, is that she’ll frequently insult my cooking and then go get garbage like a Hot Pocket or a frozen dinner from the freezer. Last Wednesday, I made Salisbury steaks with mushroom gravy, cream cheese mashed potatoes, and roasted asparagus.

When I put Jennifer’s plate in front of her, she made a disgusted face. She poked at her Salisbury steak for a few seconds and took the tiniest bite imaginable. She then made an exaggerated retching sound, dramatically threw her fork on the plate, and went to heat up a microwave burrito.

I just snapped. I didn’t say anything at the time because our children were there, but I was completely done. The next day, I made teriyaki bowls with broccoli. Jennifer sat at the table waiting for hers, and I informed her that I was done cooking for her. When she asked why, I told her it’s a waste of food, and that she should just go have a Hot Pocket.

Jennifer is furious that I won’t cook for her, and she says that instead of giving up, I should try a bit harder. I think she should just subsist on whatever microwaveable slop she likes and stop complaining. Did I escalate too much here?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

QuietRiot72310 wrote:

NTA. Did you marry a five-year-old? .She behaved like a child. If you are not willing to do something, you don’t get to complain about the people that do. In my house, whoever is cooking, makes what they make, and everybody else shuts the f--k up and eats it. If you honestly can’t eat it for some reason, you thank the person for making the meal and then make yourself something quietly and politely.

NoZookeepergame9552 wrote:

NTA - the retching sound and throwing of the fork deserves the cut off without any other discussion, as you are still cooking for the kids and bc your kids should know that that kind of rudeness is not acceptable and comes with reasonable consequences.

gray_bluegrrl wrote:

The first time someone makes a negative comment about your food, you should always let them know that they are free to cook the next meal. And they don't have to eat anything you ever cook again. That usually stops a long term sh--ty attitude that makes you grind your teeth. She is jealous, petty and needs to learn to shut her mouth.

IAmanNPCsowhat wrote:

NTA. She created this dynamic. Just make sure you and your babies are fed. She doesn't deserve your food, especially since she's being negative on purpose.

OP responded:

One thing that I take very seriously is how my boys eat. My wife and I are very fortunate to be able to afford good ingredients, so I spend probably more than necessary on food for them. My older boy says he always looks forward to his lunchbox at kindergarten!

Hurt-Locker-Fan wrote:

It is really not about the food. All these years of cooking by an expert and she NEVER happened to like a single dish???? Bottom line is she likes tearing him down. She knows he is passionate about cooking and takes pride in it and everyone loves his cooking. So she wants to shit on the one thing he loves. She is a mean nasty negative b--ch. OP, show this to her.

wasting_time0909 wrote:

So wait, she's a SAHM who doesn't cook but then dares to act like a child when you get home from work and cook a meal for your family? You need to have a real world talk with her including how poorly she's behaving in front of your children. Either she needs to shut up and eat the food you prepare for her or she needs to taking cooking classes and put her money where her mouth is. NTA.

purplespaghetty wrote:

How can she be an “amazing” mom yet be such a sh--ty wife?? I don’t understand posts like this. I get that in some circumstances, but this is not one of them. She’s teaching the kids they don’t have to eat what’s served, moreover that they don’t have to be polite either. Sounds like a great momma!

OP responded:

This is virtually the only thing she does that bothers me. It's always about food.

Also, she can talk sh-t if she wants, but my boys know what's good. I know this sounds sad, but they're kind of used to her complaining, and they tune it out now.

Tricky-Piece8005 wrote:

Hey, any chance you could cook for me? I’ll appreciate it. I’m a decent cook, but I’m looking for someone else to cook for the kids and me 😉

Anyway, yeah. Tell her to cook for herself.

OP responded:

Geographically, that might be hard, but I strongly urge you to pick up some new recipes and try them if you can! Making something delicious and eating it is one of the biggest joys I can imagine.

Kyra_Heiker wrote:

She sounds incredibly jealous of the fact that you can cook and that you get rave reviews and that your children eat it all without complaint. Tell her to get therapy for her insecurity because it is affecting your marriage. Don't cook her anything until she agrees and apologizes. NTA.

Sources: Reddit
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