"AITA for kicking my friend out of my wedding?"
So I, Emily (35f), am marrying the love of my life, Eli (36m), in 6 months. I have had a relatively smooth engagement so far. We are having a pretty small wedding at my fiancés grandparents house. It is a beautiful lakeside property with plenty of space for everyone. Since the start of my engagement my friend, Lila (35f) has been upset. She and I have been friends for a few years and are absolutely close.
She has helped me through some personal things, as have I with her. I asked her to be one of my bridesmaids thinking she would be excited. She initially seemed excited, but I later found out she was very angry to not be my maid of honor. She has now brought it up SEVERAL times.
I asked my best friend of 20 years, Stacy (35f) to be my Maid of Honor. It was never even a competition. It was always going to be Stacy. I tried to explain this to Lila, and to my face she said she understood but I found out she has actually been talking behind my back to my other bridesmaid, someone I have been friends with for longer than her, about how ungrateful I am.
I was planning on talking to her about it, but this incident happened before I could. My fiancé and I got engaged without an engagement ring. We got engaged somewhat spontaneously, and my fiancé was planning on surprising me with a ring, later into our engagement. Not a problem. Well he went to pick up my engagement ring at the mall and ran into Lila.
She was sitting eating at the food court, noticed him and called him over. She asked what he was doing at the mall, and he told her he was picking up my ring. He sat down and sat his bags down with him (he was getting more than just my engagement ring). While they were talking he asked if she would mind sitting with his bags while he ordered lunch.
While he was ordering, Lila looked in the bag from the ring shop, pulled out my ring, put it on, and sent photos of it to several of her friends on Snapchat. I found out because we have several mutual friends that she sent the picture to who recognized my ring after I showed it to them.
When I found out I confronted Lila, and she said she was just having fun and I shouldn’t take it so seriously. I told her between this and her talking behind my back she was out of my wedding.
My fiancé stood by me 100%, but her and her sister are blowing up my phone saying I’m overreacting and being ridiculous. Is this a valid thing to kick someone out of my wedding for?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Crafty-Radish5474 said:
NTA. Lila is a walking red flag I would stay very far away from her.
Black_Rosettes said:
NTA. This woman is not your friend. Run.
HotPinkSecretz said:
NTA at all, tbh. I mean, who tf thinks it's okay to just put on someone else's engagement ring for Snapchat clout? And the backstabbing, too? Nah, man, you don't need that toxicity on your big day. It's supposed to be about love and all that good stuff, right? Stand your ground, fam. You do you.
laylaammor said:
NTA. She crossed so many lines. Being jealous over not being MOH is one thing, but talking behind your back and then literally putting on your engagement ring and blasting it on Snapchat? That’s deeply disrespectful and honestly gross.
Koala-Koala5 said:
NTA. Talking behind someone’s back because you weren’t the maid of honor is horrendous behavior from an adult. It’s also disgusting that she would go through someone else’s bags, take out someone else’s wedding ring, AND THEN PUT IT ON TO POST PICS ON SNAPCHAT??? Biggest red flag…
Gryffindor123 said:
NTA. She's an absolute pathetic human. Block her on everything. Tell your friends. Make sure she is barred from your wedding completely too because she sounds like she's the type of person to try to do something at the wedding. Secure everything with your dress, bridesmaid dresses and cake maker too. She sent your ring to everyone. She's shown how low she is capable of going.
3bag said:
Lila is quite jealous of you and she's letting it show. I think you did the right thing by uninviting her from the wedding, who knows what attention seeking stunts she'd pull. NTA.