'AITA for leaving my 'date' at the bar? She claimed there was a creepy guy bothering her.'
"AITA for leaving my 'date' at the bar?"
So this weird thing happened last week and everyone I talk to has a different response to this story so I am going to ask the internet for their judgement. For context every other Thursday at a bar in my town they have an open mic night.
I go every single time they have it, I like to unwind sit at a table by myself and listen to some of the local artists in town. My girlfriend typically doesn’t come along because she isn’t a fan of genres most people do at these open mics. At the most recent night, a woman came up to my table and asked if she could sit there to avoid a creepy guy who kept hitting on her. I said sure.
Once she sat down she started talking to me which was fine I guess, I would rather sit in silence but I politely nodded along and mostly tried to tune her out and listen to the performers. After a few sets one of the employees came to take her order(I get the same thing every time and the staff all know that) she talked most of the night which was frustrating but fine.
The waiter came back and asked if we wanted our bill separate or together. I said separate which she got upset about. I only keep a small amount of cash on me and I had just enough for my meal and a tip for the server. She paid for her food so it was fine I guess. I was pretty tired of her so I wanted to leave as soon as possible at that point, so I asked if the creepy guy was gone or still at the bar.
She looked at me confused and said “what creepy guy.” She then figured it out and told me that was a line she just used to sit at my table. I am very pissed off at this point, so I just get up and leave. She follows me out and asks if we are heading back to my place and I told her I have a GF so leave me alone. I then got in my truck and left.
After telling my friends and my girlfriend this, they each had different reactions. My girlfriend thought it was messed up that I got put in that situation. While most of my friends say I should have offered to give her a ride home or a uber before leaving her alone at the bar. So AITA?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
DarthKaep wrote:
NTA. Yeah, give her a ride home and see how that impacts your relationship with your girlfriend. "Oh, let me tell you this weird thing that happened to me at the bar. Oh and then I gave her a ride home". I'm sure that would go over real well. She got there on her own, she can get home on her own. Your friends are morons.
torchwoodfour wrote:
NTA. Kudos for you for being willing to help out her out with a creepy guy, but that doesn't make you responsible for her well-being in general. I hope this incident doesn't put you off of helping other people who might actually be in a similar situation in the future.
CoverCharacter8179 wrote:
NTA, and I'm a bit confused. Most of your friends think that if a girl attaches herself to you and asks to come back to your place, and you're not interested, you have to arrange for her to get home? Why?
HonorableJudgeBibs wrote:
NTA...why do your friends think that you are responsible for this random woman who sat down next to you at a bar? If the situation was reversed and a man did that to a woman, they would very unlikely say it was the woman's job to get the random guy an uber.
Elladuskk wrote:
She straight up lied to get your attention and then got mad when you didn’t treat her like a date? That’s some next-level entitlement. She used you, and you were right to walk away. Your friends are tripping. You don’t owe a stranger a ride home, especially one who was deceptive.
She made her own bed, she can sleep in it. And honestly, she got exactly what she deserved. If she wanted a date, she should’ve been upfront, not played some weird manipulation game.
advicefivecents wrote:
NTA. Female bartender here. You were kind by giving her the chair. A few of my regulars pull this on other customers, usually for the free drinks. If you did anything wrong it was letting her intrude on your night for as long as you did. The LAST thing you should do is let these people into your car!
Dolfina4 wrote:
You need to find better friends. You owe this woman nothing. The fact that she not only lied to you but intrusively took over your table would make anyone mad. As a woman I would've done the same thing to a man had they had said all of this to me.
kiwifruitcute9 wrote:
NTA and if I was your girlfriend, I would not want you in the company of “most of (your) friends” after hearing what they advised. Thankfully you demonstrated sense in not driving her home, which could have seriously impacted your relationship, but I would still consider how hanging with those friends may impact your relationship moving forward.
Knivesandkittens wrote:
NTA. She got there herself and can get herself home. Think of it this way...if a guy asked to sit with a girl cause someone is bothering him, got mad she didn't pay for his stuff and tried to leave with her after being told to kick rocks...would she owe him a ride home?
Or maybe it is your job to take every woman there home? Nah, she hit and you and failed. After lying to get into your personal bubble. She was not your problem.