'AITA for leaving my husband when he became poor?'
"AITA for leaving my husband when he became poor?"
My husband (M50) is absolutely dumbfounded that I (45F) am leaving him because he became broke. My husband and I fell in love 25 years ago and married. I supported him and he was lucky to fall into a career where he failed upwards. I have a comfortable job so while it doesn’t pay as well, I can expect a reasonable pension when I retire.
He is a serial cheater. I found out when I was 30. I was devastated that he cheated once but I rationalized that it was a one time mistake. I later found out that he would cheat constantly and had in fact cheated throughout our marriage. I lost any sort of belief I had in love because I believed that he would be one man who would never cheat.
My prior boyfriend had cheated on me. My dad cheated on my mom. I grew up hearing that a man is only as loyal as his options. And my husband had a lot of options. He also had a lot of cash to flash. Honestly I stayed for the money. If I was going to get cheated on, why not in a comfortable life? I didn’t have to do chores, I didn’t have to worry about money.
I am a relatively modest person in some ways so I wouldn’t spend money on a nice car or a luxurious house or expensive food. However I did invest in my face and body for both beauty and health. My husband has a massive gambling problem and he lost his cushy job. He can’t manage to find another one that pays well.
He thought I would stay by his side and help him rebuild. I told him that I wanted a divorce. There was no point in being married to him if he didn’t have money. I retained a lawyer and served him divorce papers. My lawyer recommended I get out before my husband started draining retirement accounts.
I have no desire to date again. I can survive on my own. I enjoy my job and it pays me enough for a modest, comfortable living. He was dumbfounded and very hurt. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Mountain_Monitor_262 said:
NTA- you can’t rebuild something he permanently broke. Let him find his other options that will take him and rebuild him. You know longer need to gamble your life on him. It’s time to cash out.
Due_Brick1227 said:
NTA but you probably should’ve divorced him when you found out he cheated and had money so you could get your half.
Tessie1966 said:
NTA. The only benefit to staying married to him was financial stability and he screwed that up so it’s time to move on.
ShelValkyrie said:
NTA, if he hasn't by now, he'll never change. Move on and don't look back.
SnooDonuts5498 said:
ESH. Leaving someone because they cheat is fine and dandy. Leaving someone because you think you deserve a Mercedes and trip to Paris is something else entirely.
SLPERAS said:
YTA. You are trying to act like you have morals but you don’t. You stayed for the money so that makes you an ahole. If you were a righteous person you would’ve left when he first cheated. You two deserve each other.