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'AITA for making a girl move classes after she kept reporting my bruises to authorities?' UPDATED 2X

'AITA for making a girl move classes after she kept reporting my bruises to authorities?' UPDATED 2X


"AITA for making a girl move classes after she called the c*ps on a door?"

So I (19m) am in a nursing program, we do a lot of physical exams on each other to practice, which involves wearing shorts and tanks. It's important to mention I am permanently blind in one eye, I'm constantly running into walls, doors, railings, plants, people, animals, everything. As you can guess I'm covered in bruises 90% of the time, on my blind side.

In the course one day we were talking about signs of ab-se and the teacher said constant bruising, I raised my hand and added that it's important to talk to the patient if they're an adult, before calling the authorities as it could be something else.

She asked for an example so I rolled up my sleeve and explained that the bruises were from door handles of the school which were varying colors and heights. She nodded and agreed. She said with children we call the second we suspect ab-se, with adults we attempt to talk to them first and if their reason seems valid, we don't call.

The lessons continued, and a weekish later the cops showed up to my door, they told me they got a report that I was being physically ab-sed and I was always covered in bruises. I told them about my disability, they checked my home, talked to my family, saw no further signs.

I asked questions next, they got my address from the university because they take ab-se seriously here and when they talked to the university about me the university was very concerned and just wanted to help me. After the authorities left, I talked to some people at the university, including a psychologist just so they could be sure I had no mental signs of ab-se, then life went on.

Well, I was still coming in with bruises every day, and one of my classmates came up to me, she told me our classmate Kay, was telling people she was thinking about calling the authorities again because I'm still covered in bruises.

I got my classmates report written down, along side a few others and waited, sure enough the authorities showed up again, same song and dance but this time I told the university that kay was using the authorities to har-ss me and I wanted something done about it.

The university decided the best course of action was to move her from my labs, to the other ones so she couldn't see whether I was bruised or not.

She's now told me I'm an AH and that she was just trying to help me, and I didn't need to mess up her whole university schedule.


The internet had a lot to say in response.

[deleted] wrote:

She really didn't learn the lesson the class was taught, did she? A lesson she needs to understand if she is going to work in this job. If she'd done what the teacher taught — talk to the adult — then none of this would have happened. She brought this on herself. NTA.

OP responded:

Some of my classmates told me they tried to talk her out of it because 'what victim shows off their bruises to a classroom filled with nursing students and two registered nurses?' Which is fair, but I didn't know if I went too far getting her moved from my labs.

JowDow42 wrote:

NTA. She WAS har-ssing you by carrying on calling the authorities. Once can definitely be out of concern but after everything was checked out and you where safe she decided to continue so it’s totally on her.

OP responded:

I was fine with the once it's okay, people make mistakes, but after the second time I wanted to make sure it'd stop.

Open-Incident-3601 wrote:

I’m not blind in either eye and I am also always bruised. My legs and sides always have a big purple knot somewhere. It’s a daily occurrence.

Multiple doctors have said it’s not a medical issue. I just have terrible spatial awareness for where my body is. I run in to door handles, my work desk, counters. I get my clothes caught on stuff all the time. It’s entirely my own lack of attention and clumsiness.

phoenixanhil8 wrote:

Genuine question. How do you get bruised almost everyday? Do you have low sight in your other eye as well? Do you wear eye glasses? I'm blind in one eye as well (by birth). I'm short sighted but I rarely get bruised running into things.

I usually sprain my ankle due to not noticing unlevel ground or hit my toe on the wall corners due to blind spots once or twice a year, but the peripheral vision and the angle at which I turn my head to keep my eye at centre is more than enough to not bump into things so frequently. NTA.

OP responded:

I'm near sighted in the other eye, stuff on my left side is just impossible to see, glasses get in the way of some of my peripheral vision, keeping my head turned to long causes stiffness in my neck and I have to be able to turn my head fast and quick.

As I said, well I get bruised a lot. It doesn't interfere with my job, it's something I've grown up with, and I bruise easily, I don't bump into anything at home, but in the outside world I do.

Glass_Ear_8049 wrote:

NTA. I have a friend who is blind in both eyes and never runs into anything. He travels all over the world alone. Have you looked into services that can help you learn tools so you stop injuring yourself?

OP responded:

Part of my issue is that my mother denied I was blind for most of my life, it's only recently I've tried to learn to handle it, I'm working on it, but it takes effort and time, and I am getting supports, as I said the school knows.

Different-Streak2709 wrote:

It's still strange that you have so many bruises just because you are blind in one eye. A lot of completely blind ppl run around with no bruises at all. You should go to a doctor and have it checked. Some people who bruise easily have an underlying disease.

OP responded:

I had it checked when I was a child, my optic nerve is too small, severely impacting my depth perception, my doctor is aware, and tells me to not run, to avoid going down stairs to close together, or running up or down them.

Three weeks later, OP shared an update.

Okay so, tldr on the other, I'm blind in one eye, I run into random stuff if I'm not paying enough attention, I'm covered in various bruises, showed this during class well talking about ab-se and how we have to talk to adults before calling.

Girl decided to call the authorities on me twice claiming I'm being hurt, resulting in me forced to go to counseling, talk to therapists, police, etc until everyone was assured I wasn't ab-sed. So anyways, it's been a bit since that post and I have big updates on her, I called her Kay in the other story so let's stick with that.

So anyways, I had previously gotten her removed from my labs, we still shared class not lab, I figured everything was fine now and she'd leave me alone, but I was wrong. Not only was she spreading rumors that I was ab-sed, but she called the authorities again, apparently more then once as the other two times the authorities said they had a report of ab-se, this time they said reports.

When I asked how many reports they said that it was multiple people, so I don't know if others in class called or she had her family do so. I just don't know, they couldn't tell me who called due to privacy when it comes to reporting, to try and make sure ab-sers don't attack the reporters.

Apparently my university had attempted to stop them when the men in blue spoke to them, but the cops had to check anyways, so they came after talking to the university anyways, and again we did the same song and dance.

I told them I felt like someone was using the authorities to harrass me, and the authorities took this, they said no one would show up again, and anyone that calls would now have their name taken down and if they call after being told not to they'd be charged.

Well, that was about a week ago, and someone continued calling, tried to claim a different name, didn't realize they record phone numbers as well, so there's your update on Kay, she called again, and again, and again until it got her charged with har-ssment as well as misuse of resources, not certain whats gonna happen going forward or if I'll be called to testify.

I'm not certain what's happening, but I haven't seen her since I was informed that she still called, which I found out from another classmate. I don't know how great an update this is, but yeah, that's the end of this situation hopefully.

The comments kept coming in.

wreckedmyself5653 wrote:

What's the school doing about this? Is she getting expelled for har-ssing you?

OP responded:

Seeing as she's probably ending up with a charge she will be expelled.

LobstahlovahRL wrote:

Wow, she is a nutcase! She must be driving herself mad in her head because she got moved to the other lab and all her calls and reports are not getting you removed from your home! Talk about petty mean revenge!

I also bang into stuff, and always have. I noticed I seem to have a problem with spacial orientation, and I was just told my vision is worse in my right eye, I had noticed my sight was cut by a 3rd in my eye. i'm always bruised from my clutziness but at least now I know why!

wheredainternet wrote:

Someone so unhinged should not be in a position of power over patients. Glad that something finally got moving on it.

_oh_my_stars wrote:

She's gonna be a horrible nurse. She's uncoachable.

OP responded:

If she gets charged she wont be allowed to participate in any nursing program in my area as people with records can't be nurses as far as I'm aware.

Two weeks later, OP shared another update.

Hi everyone. I dont know exactly where to start with this post but kinda wanna give this update because I'm hoping it's the last one. So, I made my last post only twleve days ago and things kinda went down. Now, I need to explain that quite a bit of this is second hand, because I luckily avoided the crazies.

So basically, kay does not know where I live, knows the general town, but nothing else, I did invite one girl in our class to my house to work on a project. She was the only person other than the university that knows where I live. Kay knows this, because her and girl who imma call Lilly, are kinda / kinda not related.

Lilly's cousin is married to Kay's cousin, so they knew each other prior to the program but not really well. Lilly is also the one that told me about Kay still calling even after the authorities promised me they would not show up again. Which they haven't, they just started taking down the numbers and keeping track of who called, when, and did they call after being told not to.

So basically, Kay knew me and Lilly were paired up for the project, knew Lilly came to my house, did not know where the house was, or what it looked like, just that it was in a town x kilometers away from where they were.

They also knew the town name via Lilly's mom, so I got warned by Lilly that Kay's mom was going to try to find me to get me to drop Kay's charges (I'm not the one charging her, the authorities are, I have not pressed any charges despite some people saying I should get a restraining order). Lilly warned me, and I hid in my house and did not leave until Lilly told me that Kay's mom had returned home.

Kay's mom then proceeded to bother Lilly in an attempt to get Lilly to give Kay's mom my address so she could knock on my door instead of driving around aimlessly hoping to spot me. Lilly refused, and deleted all texts between me and her to ensure that even if Kay's mom stole her phone, and somehow got passed the password, that she would never get my address.

Lilly then informed the university of the situation, and had proof via texts, that the university had her print off and give to them, and the police, the university security are now watching for Kay's mom's car, and Kay's mom, security is informed that if and when I'm at school they are to escourt me to and from my car, my car is also to be parked near cameras, by order of the university, until the situation dies down.

Luckily I'm at clinicals and not anywhere near the university, Kay was kicked out before clinicals so has no idea which clinics the students are at, or which I'm at, had she stayed in longer she'd have a literal list posted to the class page, about where I'm at, and where in the building I'm at.

Kay's family apparently was informed by the authorities that any attempts to contact me would be har-ssment (so says Lilly, can't guarantee) but yeah. I kinda don't know how to feel, the next time I have to go to the uni is for exams in likethree weeks, so hopefully Kay's family doesn't hold onto this that long.

Until then, I'm safe in a building filled with security, locked doors, and places to run, the placement was also informed about this situation and with pictures from lilly (whos at a different placement) are watching for Kay's family, and has banned them from the premise in advance.

So ummmm ya, if this goes no further I won't update anymore, but if it gets worse I guess I'll update after my exams, wish me luck because I'm gonna try to not stress to much about the Kay situation and focus on my finals and hesi, instead of that, but don't know how that'll go.

Hope yall are enjoying my mild suffering and it entertains you if only a bit, so that some good can come from this situation I can't believe I'm in right now, so....yeah, thanks again for the words of encouragement and kindness (some of) you showed me during this insanity.

Please wish Lilly some luck as shes being bombarded by her family to give Kay's mom my address, phone number, etc, and doing her best to hold out on this, and making sure her phone is never out of her sight on the off chance she leaves it open. Anyways, hopefully this is good bye, if not, well, I'll see yall in three weeks for another update.

The internet was shocked and apalled on OP's behalf.

blablalatina wrote:

I don’t understand why so much drama from Kay and her family…like what the heck is happening that they feel the need to do all this to you. Have you presented a restraining order?

OP responded:

Hi, I still dont feel a restraining order necessary as they really only keep people willing to listen away, and that's not really the case here. I plan to just avoid it, the authority and courts handle it, and forget it ever happened

Tasty-Answer-8183 wrote:

This is going too far...what's wrong with that woman? And has her whole family gone insane? Not only are they bothering you but they're putting your family in danger. She's basically accusing them of being dangerous, it could damage their reputation but also put their job on the line depending on their fields :/

It's good that they are providing you with security but it's still not enough. Lilly won't possibly be able to warn you every time that woman goes out of her house.

In case she eventually finds your house and comes to intimidate you, you should probably get cameras for your door to record everything. When you say she was kicked out, do you mean of the school? Because I really hope your university realised how unhinged Kay's behavior has been and how unfit she is to start a career in this field.

Not only does she lack common sense but she's also acting in a deranged manner. Targeting someone like that is not acceptable, especially not under the fake pretense of trying to help. Had you really been a victim of an unsafe home, you would have probably been even more traumatized by this situation.

OP responded:

Hi, so yes my house has cameras already, and Kay has been removed from school due to pending charges and should they fully go through she will never come back. Her access to everything has been suspended and shes basically already expelled they are just awaiting charges to go through before they actually push the expulsion through.

RedditHatesHonesty wrote:

Good luck on your finals and hesi!

It seems clear that Kay's lack of respect for boundaries started at home with her mom's example of ignoring boundaries. Glad Lilly is a good person!

Secret_Double_9239 wrote:

Kay has ruined her own life and now her mom is trying to follow suit.

Sources: Reddit
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