'AITA for making my boyfriend wear a tie to a black tie event?'
"AITA for making my BF wear a tie to a black tie event?"
My boyfriend and I attended my coworker/friend’s wedding last weekend where dress code was black tie. I let him know a couple weeks in advance and he expressed annoyance stating “I never wear ties…I hate wearing ties."
I told him I was very honored to be invited to this wedding as she is someone I care for and respect, and I would be embarrassed if he broke the dress code. Fast forward to the wedding, he wears the tie to the ceremony and is angry the entire time.
He doesn’t speak to me and has a terrible look on his face. I cried after the ceremony, because I was upset he was acting this way. He said “you care about this wedding than you do my feelings."
We talked it out and had a good time at the reception. However, I feel like he is still sour about it. It’s been a week today, and I teased him about how the pictures would have turned out better if he had been in dress code.
Apparently that was unacceptable because now he is just as upset as he was at the wedding. I genuinely can’t wrap my head around how he can be this upset about a tie. AITA?
EDIT from OP:
For context, we have been together for almost 3 years (30F, 34M) and this was an isolated event. He really is a good person- very kind, generous, always goes out of his way to make sure I’m happy and taken care of, etc, which was why I was so taken aback by the whole situation. I wanted to come here to gain some perspective regarding this particular incident. Thank you all for giving me a little peace of mind.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
INFO: Were most of the other guys not wearing ties?
It was a 300+ person wedding and I personally saw 3 people not wearing ties at the reception, bf included.
Does he always get his way? Or he is generally responsible and respectful even when he doesn't?
No I don’t believe he is someone who “always has to get his way” he is normally pretty sound and reasonable. We rarely get into arguments but when we do I suppose it’s when we both have strong differing opinions about something.
And I would say it’s 50/50 regarding who apologizes first. Sometimes I realize im at fault and sometimes it’s him. So no, I wouldn’t say he always acts like this when he doesn’t get his way.
shadyzeta579 said:
NTA. If your boyfriend was so adamant about not wearing a tie, he could’ve opted to skip the whole event. There are dress codes for a reason. The fact that he agreed to go and then proceeded to pout the entire time is ridiculous. It shows what kind of person he is if he doesn’t get his way.
NinjaHidingintheOpen said:
NTA. He's being a big sulky baby ruining your time because he can't suck it up and dress appropriately for a few hours. Who hurt him? In any case, it's clear when you disagree with him, he's going to make damn sure you're miserable.
QuietObserver75 said:
OMG what a big baby. NTA. Wearing a tie isn't torture. All the other men at this wedding were wearing them. This is such a stupid thing for him to get all bent out of shape about. If he's this pissed off about something like that then you're going to have a lot more issues coming up.
Intelligent-Entry792 said:
NTA he should have skipped the wedding if wearing the tie bothered him so much. He is looking for reasons to just be mad and childish.
WhirlwindTobias said:
NTA. Well I guess at least he has one less wedding to attend in the future - yours. Best get out before he has more tantrums.
Ok-Cat-4975 said:
NTA. He has the temperament of a two year old and he's having a tantrum. Let him stew if he wants, but there's nothing you can do now. He'll get over it or he won't. Just go by yourself next time there's a formal event and avoid the drama.
Unsuccessful-fly said:
NTA - your boyfriend needs to grow up.